Babysitting
by RizaMustang24
Summary: Haruhi needs money, so she takes up babysitting. Kyouya allows her to bring the child to Club. So, the child tortures Kaoru until Kaoru can't even think straight. Only, this makes it so that Kaoru and Hikaru have to come to terms together. Lover? Friend?
1. You Did That On Purpose

"Haruhi? Why are you late?" Kyouya inquired quietly. "And what are you hiding?"

Haruhi blushed and looked away.

"Well, I needed a job to make enough money to buy the food because my dad's job doesn't pay enough. So I took on babysitting," Haruhi laughed nervously. "I had to bring her with me, is that okay?"

"Mmm, she might attract customers," Kyouya replied as he saw the small girl of about Kirimi's age.

"Hi," She greeted, her amber eyes sparkling brightly. "My name Lex."

Haruhi smiled and blushed at her. "Yeah, this is Lex-chan."

"You want to take the day off?" Kyouya read Haruhi's expressions. "The others are somewhere else right now, they don't have to know."

Haruhi sighed.

"No, she has to meet the Host Club sooner or later."

Kyouya nodded and Haruhi picked Lex up and followed him to the outside where the Club was learning a foreign game, _red light, green light, _for the mutli-culture festival. Hikaru groaned in frustration as he got out. But Kaoru didn't.

Lex noticed as Kaoru quickly _twitched,_ to get out with Hikaru as well.

"Why'd he do that?" Lex wondered aloud.

"Why'd who do what?" Haruhi and Kyouya wondered, curiously.

Lex frowned. Obviously no one else had seen Kaoru gaze at Hikaru as Hikaru slipped.

"That one," Lex pointed to Kaoru. "Why'd he get out on purpose?"

Haruhi glanced at Kaoru and sighed.

"He didn't do it on _purpose,_" Haruhi scowled. "He did it on accident. It's a twin thing I guess."

"But he did do it on purpose," Lex argued. "I saw him. You didn't?"

Kaoru glanced over and tripped a bit as Tamaki said, "Red light."

Hikaru had tripped as well, since he was so incredibely close to his twin that they could swear they heard the others heart beat. Hikaru fell on top of Kaoru and they both scowled. Kaoru couldn't keep his eyes off the little girl. His heart felt like it was in his throat. It was that way she looked at him. Or how she _didn't_ look at him. She'd been staring at him since Hikaru and him went back to the start.

Later Kaoru walked over to her.

"What's your name?" He asked kindly.

"Lex," She replied, still looking straight into his eyes.

"I'm Kaoru, nice to meet you Lex-chan," Kaoru responded, smiling.

"Why'd you do that earlier?"

The words cut into Kaoru's heart. That's why she was looking at _him_ and not _Hikaru._

"What ever do you mean?" He asked, faking kindness. _She's only child, you can't hurt her. Wait, why do I want to hurt her?_

"You purposely messed up to get out with that other guy," Lex accused.

Kaoru held his smile in place. For some reason he wanted to slap that girl.

"You're twins, aren't you supposed to do that naturally?"

Kaoru's hand twitched along with his muscles. He wanted to slap her so badly.

"Kaoru!" Haruhi called. She dashed over and Kaoru stood up, still fake smiling. "This is Lex-chan, I babysit her."

Kaoru glared at her quickly and turned his attention to Haruhi and smiled to her.

"She's so cute, I can't wait to get to know her!" Kaoru lied.

"You devils can't corrupt her too!" Tamaki scowled. He came over and ruffled Lex's black hair. "The poor child. Did Kaoru scare you?"

"He's weird," She replied.

"You got us confused," Kaoru finally objected.

"Nuh-uh, I couldn't," Lex argued to Kaoru. "You look different, you act different too."

Kaoru's muscles tensed again and he glared at the little girl.

"That was Hikaru," Karou continued to object.

"Lying is bad," Lex replied. "My mommy said liars go to hell. So I don't lie."

Kaoru turned away and folded his arms. _She's a child. She's a child. You can't hurt her. You'd get into too much trouble._

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted and ran over and slapped Kaoru playfully on the arm. "I see you met Lex-chan! Haruhi was telling us about her over there. Isn't she adorable?"

"Yes," Kaoru lied.

**

* * *

Kaoru's POV**

I just want to make it clear, I hate children. The way they act, how they can look right through you. But most of all I hate the girl Haruhi babysits. She's a brat, she thinks she knows the difference between Hikaru and I on the first day she met us. I want to slap her and wipe that grin off of her face. Hikaru and I have been the most devilish beings I've ever known or heard of in my whole entire life.

But this girl?

She's the **devil.** I swear.

I'm never getting married, I'm never having children. _**They're insane.**_ Women are insane. This little girl proves it. She's a female and a child, both are the incarnations of pure evil. I want to tell her how I feel. I want to hurt her until she can't feel anything anymore.

**How dare she say Hikaru and I are different?**


	2. You're Going To Hell

Kaoru fretted every moment of the day. He kept glancing at Hikaru and Haruhi. When was Haruhi going to get that little she-witch he hated so much? How could he convince Haruhi to stop at least babysitting _that_ child? Couldn't she babysit any other child? Or was she purposely trying to torture him?

"Hey, Kaoru," Hikaru replied at lunch to Kaoru. Haruhi looked over at the twins and listened in; the twins and Haruhi ate lunch together every day without the rest of the Club. "I was talking to Lex-chan yesterday and she kept saying that you purposely got out in that game of _Red light Green light,_ is that true?"

"Of course not," Kaoru growled.

"You sure?" Hikaru whispered.

"You believe her words over mine?" Kaoru had to hold himself back from yelling and letting go of his cool. If he did that Hikaru would know that Kaoru was lying. He'd know that Kaoru was lying because this girl upset her, but Kaoru was upset as it was. _Doesn't he know I'm lying?_

"Of course not, but I was just curious," Hikaru replied quietly. "Sorry if I bugged you."

Kaoru felt like crying. _Doesn't he know I'm lying?_

"Can't you tell?" Kaoru cried under his breath; Hikaru pretended not to hear him.

* * *

Haruhi had come back into the Music Room, carrying Kaoru's 3-foot-tall torturer.

"Kao-kun!" Lex greeted happily. For some reason, she had seemed to be attached to Kaoru the other day. It upset Kaoru, he just wanted to slap her so badly, why did these females like to torture Kaoru so much? Haruhi took his brother every once in a while, Hikaru paid more attention to the girls than Kaoru sometimes, and this little girl was insisting Kaoru and Hikaru were different?

"I'm not Kaoru!" Kaoru scowled angrily to the girl. Hikaru glanced at Kaoru while everyone was laughing and talking about what Lex was doing when Haruhi was picking her up.

"Yes you are Kao-kun, don't pretend," Lex smiled.

Hikaru noticed the anger flashing through Kaoru's eyes, the way each of his delicate muscles clenched and twitched. He noticed Kaoru's hand twitch.

"I'm Hikaru," Kaoru growled.

"Kao-kun, do you want to be your older brother or something? That's idolship, that's the number one sin. You need help, so far you're going to hell."

Hikaru frowned as he watched his brother and this little girl. The other members finally noticed Kaoru was with Lex, and just about as Tamaki was about to complain about how Kaoru was one of the devils, they all noticed how Lex was talking to Kaoru.

"Your brother's good, he expresses his feelings and doesn't idolize like you do. Geez, you idolize your brother and you _lie_ to everyone too? You want some help getting your life back into shape?" Lex asked, trying not to be mean. "I don't want you to go to hell, Kao-kun. I like you, really."

_You know how I like you? Dead._ Kaoru wanted to counter but didn't. He glared at this girl angrily, who the hell was she to judge how he lived his life?

"I don't idolize Hikaru!" Kaoru scowled.

"I thought you said you were Hika-kun?" Lex smiled mischeviously. "See? You get caught in your lies. Your lucky this was a small one, but it could still send you to-"

"You don't know me!" Kaoru began to raise his voice, his muscles finally tensing too much, he had to express his anger somehow. He was getting too worked up over this. "I don't idolize my big brother! You don't know my life!" Kaoru clenched his teeth tighter before finally yelling at her. **"You don't know Hikaru!"**

"Kaoru..." Hikaru tried to call his twin, but Kaoru got too angry and stormed away and sat in a corner of the room, glaring out the window.

"Kao-kun?" Lex asked, not physically fazed by Kaoru's words. "You really need help with your life."

Haruhi rushed over to her and covered her mouth and picked her up.

"Let's leave Kaoru alone, okay?" Haruhi suggested.

"Okay..."

**

* * *

**

I just noticed something, Kaoru doesn't get along with Lex very well. She seems extremely fond of him, but Kaoru seems to almost hate her even. What's Kaoru got against her? Is it really a big deal when someone judges your life? I just don't care. Does it really matter to Kaoru? Is he that sensitive when it comes to Hikaru?

I don't know...

I'm just so worried about him.

**If hell is real, Kaoru would be the LAST person to go, right?**


	3. Crying in Public

**Note: The entry on the last chapter was by Haruhi**

Kaoru's next biggest issue was when the twins were pulling off their act.

"I saw the way you looked at him," Lex noted after all the customers had left and everyone was laughing and conversing over some of the commoner coffee and ramen that Haruhi bought them all. Kaoru was going to go over to them when Lex stopped him. "You're not supposed to look at people like that unless you love them."

"He's my brother, I love him," Kaoru replied.

"No, I mean, like a man and a woman."

Kaoru clenched his teeth.

"Don't you like someone like that? Isn't one of these girls your girlfriend?" Lex wondered. "It's a sin to like more than one lady and show it to them."

"I'm never getting married," Kaoru scolded, angrily. "I'm never having children."

"Aren't you ever gonna fall in love?" Lex worried. "Love is what makes life good, don't you know?"

"Oh, I'll fall in love alright."

"But, you won't marry? That's another sin. It's a sin to commit adultry."

Kaoru's hands twitched, he wanted to literally wring her neck. He longed to feel her flesh under his skin, tearing and peeling and oozing blood all over. Kaoru's mouth twitched as he tried to smile.

"I'm already _in_ love," Kaoru admitted.

"Are you a virgin?" Lex asked.

Kaoru blushed and shouted, "Hikaru! She's asking me personal questions!"

Everyone looked at him and smiled slightly.

"Like what?" Hikaru asked what everyone was dreading to ask, but what everyone wanted to ask.

"She's asking me if I'm a virgin," Kaoru blushed.

Hikaru shifted in his seat. Haruhi looked at him then back at Kaoru.

"Are you?" Haruhi wondered.

"Of course," Kaoru growled.

"Hikaru?"

"I'm not liable to answer that," Hikaru whispered then looked away.

"Now you're sending your brother to hell too," Lex accused.

"HARUHI!" Kaoru shouted angrily. "Get this THING away from me!"

"But it's true," Lex replied, ignoring Kaoru's anger. "You're already going to hell, and now you're pulling your twin down with you."

"Haruhi!" Kaoru cried under his voice as he shouted.

Haruhi stumbled out of her chair to try and cover Lex's mouth, but Lex wouldn't stay still. She wanted to say what she had to say.

"If you're okay with going to hell at least stop pulling other people with you," Lex scowled as she pulled Haruhi's hand away.

"Lex-chan, don't say things like that," Haruhi cooed.

"What? Don't say the truth and lie to make people happy?" Lex growled. "Kaoru, it's not too late if you realize and want and ask to change. But if you don't realize, you're automatically going to hell."

Kaoru covered his ears with his hands. Hikaru rushed over and embraced Kaoru.

"You're brother doesn't want to go hell, stop killing him!" Lex shouted at Kaoru as Haruhi pulled her away. Finally Haruhi got her over there and Tamaki was holding her and keeping her quiet and contempt. The Club stared at Kaoru annoyed.

"Kaoru's such a bad influence," Tamaki scowled. "It's his fault for being the first of us to meet Lex-chan. I should've protected her from him."

Suddenly, Kaoru burst out into tears.

"Kaoru! It's okay!" Hikaru tried to comfort, stroking Kaoru's hair. He wanted to cry with Kaoru.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru sobbed. "I'm not going to hell, right?"

Hikaru took a breath in and replied truthfully, "I-I'm not really sure."

"If I go to hell will you go with me?" Kaoru sobbed.

"Umm, Kaoru that's such a mean question to-"

"Will you come with me?" Kaoru cried even louder. "Would you come with me? You wouldn't leave me right?"

"That's so mean to ask me!" Hikaru shouted at Kaoru.

"You hate me," Kaoru sobbed. "You hate me! You don't want to be with me!"

Hikaru buried his face into Kaoru's hair and began trembling, deep sobs coming from him too.

"I don't hate you. I want to be with you. But I'm not sure if I'd go-"

"You promised!" Kaoru whined loudly. "YOU PROMISED!"

Tamaki wished he could take back everything negative he said about Kaoru as he watched them cry. No one in the club could get the crying out of their head for the rest of the day. No one could look at Kaoru or Hikaru without hearing them cry to eachother and the words Kaoru sobbed. So they just remained silent as they all left. Haruhi noticed something though, Lex didn't care in the least. She even seemed to have an added bounce to her step. Did she want to hurt Kaoru and Hikaru? How could a little girl be so cruel?

"Don't you feel bad?" Haruhi finally asked.

Lex looked at Haruhi and shook her head. "No, people need to know the truth, even if it hurts."

Haruhi frowned. _I don't like her religion._

**

* * *

**

**Hunny's POV**

I saw Hika-chan and Kao-kun cry. It was kind of terrifying. That little girl Haru-chan babysits, Lex-chan, she made Kao-kun cry first. She kept saying he was gonna go to hell or something. I think maybe she noticed Kao-kun's feelings for Hika-chan.

Takashi agrees with me, we don't like Lex-chan.

Anyone who tries to attack Kao-kun at his weakest moments and doesn't even care when they tore him to bits isn't our kind of person.

**Will we ever get the crying out of our heads?**


	4. List Of Sins

Kaoru cried to Hikaru all evening.

"Shh, it's okay," Hikaru tried to comfort.

"No, it's not," Kaoru sobbed. "I _hate_ that child."

"No you don't."

But they both knew Kaoru did.

"It's gonna be alright," Hikaru tried to soothe. "It was an accident, nobody knows it happened."

"She DOES, she's a demon, she knows. She can see right through us," Kaoru sobbed quietly. "She knows what we did."

Hikaru held Kaoru close to him.

"She's a child, who'd believe her?" Hikaru tried to laugh.

Kaoru held his breath.

"I'm really going to hell, aren't I Hikaru?"

"I don't believe that religion," Hikaru tried to assure.

"I hate religion," Kaoru scowled. "I hope she goes to hell herself. That little witch."

"Kaoru!" Hikaru snapped. "Don't talk like that! Don't try to damn a little child!"

"That's the evil in it; they look cute and act cute while they tear you to shreds," Kaoru whispered. "She's out to get me Hikaru, she's out to kill me. She is, this little demon that Haruhi babysits, that little thing is out to kill me."

"Kaoru! What's gotten into you?" Hikaru worried.

Kaoru looked Hikaru in the eyes and began to cry again.

"She's trying to tear us apart," Kaoru whimpered. "She's gonna tell on us."

Hikaru shook his head and pulled Kaoru closer as they sat on the bed in their room. Hikaru buried his face in Kaoru's hair and sniffed in deeply, memorizing his brother's scent. He shook his head some more before finally saying, "She can't, that little girl can't. I won't let her."

**

* * *

**

**The Third Day**

Kaoru had switched desks with Haruhi; Kaoru had to be able to hold Hikaru's hand or he'd burst out crying again.

"Kaoru?" Haruhi whispered at lunch. "Don't let Lex-chan get to you, she's just a child. She doesn't really know what she's saying."

Kaoru reached for Hikaru's hand under the table and gave it a hard squeeze. Hikaru sighed and nodded and replied, "Yeah, Kaoru. So what if a little girl tells you that you're going to hell? Does it really matter? I mean, where'd she learn this crap? Some cult?"

Kaoru held his breath to keep from crying. He looked shyly at Hikaru's face and noticed he was staring at Haruhi. He looked at Haruhi and noticed she paid attention to eating again. Kaoru felt his heart in his throat again; he wanted to bawl. Kaoru squeezed Hikaru's hand so hard that Hikaru winced a bit. Kaoru stared at his face as Hikaru returned attention to Kaoru; Kaoru frowned at the lack of attention. _If I'm going to hell I'm pulling Hikaru with me. There's no way I'll let Haruhi have him._

Kaoru closed his eyes as he felt Hikaru wrap his arms around him.

"I'm sorry, Kaoru, was that too much for you?" Hikaru asked in mock concern.

"Oh, Hikaru," Kaoru blushed, barely faking. "I thought you'd never even notice I was here."

"Don't be stupid."

Hikaru pulled Kaoru into an embrace.

"I could never forget about you," Hikaru tried to reassure, pretending to be faking.

Haruhi frowned as she was the only one in the lunch room who knew this one wasn't an act. Haruhi was getting good at that, telling what was an act and what wasn't. She shifted in her seat, trying not to show concern for the twins that she knew so well.

"Oh, Hikaru," Kaoru closed his eyes and was soothed by the warmth of his brother. He was the same temperature as him; Hikaru wasn't cold like the other people Kaoru knew. Kaoru smiled as he felt himself drift off.

_"...you're pulling your twin down with you." _Lex's voice rang through Kaoru's head and Kaoru felt sick.

_I don't care,_ Kaoru countered his memory. _Hikaru's MINE. No one else can have him. Not yet._

Kaoru hid his face into Hikaru's chest as he silently cried. Hikaru concealed Kaoru's accidental and occasional tremor of his body.

* * *

"Good afternoon, Kao-kun, Hika-chan!" The devil voice rang through the twins ears as they embraced eachother on the couch. That's how most of their day had went, they had to pretend it was an act so no one would look at them weird, but Hikaru noticed how unstable Kaoru was so he concealed Kaoru's feelings. 

"Afternoon, Lex," The twins greeted, trying to hurt the girl by not wishing her a _good_ afternoon and not using an honorific. The girl didn't seem to care, infact, she seemed delighted.

"Why are you two hugging eachother and touching eachother all the time?" Lex asked later, infront of Kaoru and Hikaru's customers. The girls squealed at the wording and how Hikaru was holding Kaoru's face so close to his. "You look like your gonna kiss eachother or something."

_Get out of here,_ Kaoru wanted to snarl at the girl but didn't.

"Maybe we are," Hikaru smiled devilishly.

"That's bad," Lex scowled.

Hikaru touched Kaoru's lips lightly and Kaoru shuddered.

"Not to us, it's not," Hikaru whispered and interlocked their lips.

Kaoru blushed but allowed, not arguing at all. He was already dreading _the talk _that little demon was going to give him.

"That's not good!" Lex argued, angry.

"God damn this child!" Kaoru snapped at her finally.

All their customers gasped and Hikaru scooted away from Kaoru.

"Aii, Kaoru... what was that for?" Hikaru scowled lightly.

"I-I can't," Kaoru tried to explain. Why _did_ he swear at the little child?

"Kao-kun, I need to talk to you," Lex started to say, but Haruhi and Tamaki covered her mouth and carried her off.

"After club," Haruhi replied.

Kaoru remained quiet through the rest of club, thinking the same thing over and over again, _How much longer can I live with these females?_

After everyone had left, Kaoru began bawling even before Lex had the time to get to him.

"I can't take it, Hikaru!" Kaoru sobbed.

"You're in trouble," Lex accused as she walked over and stood tall in front of him; Kaoru sat on the floor staring at her, tears in his eyes. "_Big_ trouble."

"What did I do now?" Kaoru whimpered.

"You used God's name in vain!" Lex pointed out. "You commited adultry, you have a different god than the real one, and you have an idol that's other than the real God."

Kaoru wanted to scream, _I don't care! YOU go to hell! Leave me alone!_

"I don't care," Kaoru countered.

"You commited adultry?" Everyone asked loudly suddenly.

"No," Kaoru scoffed.

"Yes," Lex countered. "You did, you're both going to hell now."

Kaoru's hand twitched again.

"Watch it," Kaoru snarled. "I don't want to hurt you."

But that was a lie. Kaoru _did_ want to hurt her.

"You lie too, you lie about lots of things. You and Hika-chan aren't the same. You're very different. You're pretending to be alike. You're afraid."

Kaoru began to cry again.

"You pretend to be like me?" Hikaru wondered quickly. No one had noticed how hard Kaoru had been trying as of recently to try to be exactly like his brother. Before he didn't have to try, they were alike. They were the twins. Not Hikaru and Kaoru. They were the same person; the same essence. The maids and family couldn't even tell them apart sometimes.

This hurt the worst, because Kaoru was the twin who hated to lie. Yet he was the one who did it the most.

As far as Kaoru was concerned, it was all Haruhi's fault.

"Go away," Kaoru whispered. "Just leave me alone."

Kaoru felt cold again, sick, and unloved. At that moment, everyone was against him; he was that attraction at the zoo everyone laughed at. The one animal no one liked. There was an animal in the cage next to him that was identical, but for some reason people got their kicks at making that one feel absolutely horrible.

Hikaru gazed at his brother, truly hurt as well.

"You don't even try to get out of hell."

"Leave him alone!" Hikaru finally snapped and ran and embraced his brother. "Leave him alone..."

Kaoru buried his face into Hikaru's shoulder and shook uncontrollably.

"Leave us alone..." The two repeated at the same time.

**

* * *

**

**Tamaki's POV**

This new girl Haruhi babysits, she truly is a devil, isn't she? She's a child though, I can't tell her what's right and wrong because she's not mine. Her parents must be religious fanatics with how much she talks about her religion. I've seen Hikaru and Kaoru for the first time and more times then I ever thought I would in just three days. Will this girl stop tormenting them? Or will I have to somehow step in and help them?

I know they're idiots, I know I get jealous of them easily. I can kind of relate to the sadness they feel, I guess. I don't ever want to see those two cry.

I brought them under my wing, broken and distressed. I can't abandon them.

I promised Kaoru I'd never let Hikaru see him broken.

**As things are now, can I keep that promise?**


	5. Tamaki Admits It

**The Fourth Day**

"Thanks Milord," Kaoru thanked in relief.

Tamaki smiled at him and replied, "No problem Kaoru, I just couldn't stand seeing that child torture you again for another minute."

Kaoru closed his eyes and shook his head.

"She's right, you know."

"About what?" Tamaki questioned.

"Everything..." Kaoru whispered to keep from crying. "I did try to get out in that game, I do lie a lot now, but I don't _worship _Hikaru... and I... have commited..."

"With who?" Tamaki butt in.

Kaoru stopped walking and looked away from him, feeling like crying again.

"I-I can't say," Kaoru replied, quietly.

"Hikaru?" Tamaki asked in disbelief.

"Don't ask questions please."

Kaoru began walking again, past Tamaki.

Tamaki stood still for another moment, staring at Kaoru and sighing. Everyday, he saw a bigger difference in personality. He'd began to see it the moment he realized he'd broken their barrier, their safe keeping. Whenever the twins played the game, Tamaki pretended to get it wrong, and he noticed that even if he got it right the twins still said it was wrong. That's when he realized what he discovered by knowing who was who. With this knowledge, he secretly watched the twins and their development, how Hikaru always kept Kaoru safe. How Kaoru had that hurt look in his eyes whenever he looked at Hikaru recently.

"Kaoru, are you gonna be okay?" Tamaki asked as he began walking again.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kaoru asked with no hint of emotion in his voice at all, but Tamaki could feel Kaoru's tension.

"I was just wondering, if you were okay."

"Fine."

_"You're going to hell," _Lex had told him.

_Kaoru wouldn't go to hell, he couldn't. It's wrong to even think that, he's been tortured, he doesn't know how to react. Lying is how he reacts. It's how he stays safe. _Tamaki thought as he caught up to Kaoru. _It's how I keep myself safe sometimes too, sometimes I even trick myself._

"You're thinking a lot today, Dad," Kaoru whispered.

"Oh, am I? I didn't notice!" Tamaki laughed.

Kaoru smiled and looked at Tamaki.

"She really bugs you, huh?" Tamaki asked quietly.

"Yeah, who does she think she is?" Kaoru scowled, looking forward again, a distant glaze on his eyes. "Calling Hikaru and I different, what does she know?"

"A lot from what you said earlier," Tamaki pointed out.

Tamaki held his breath as he noticed tears form at Kaoru's eyes and his body began trembling slightly.

"I'm not Kaoru," Kaoru whispered to himself. "Kaoru's secure, Kaoru has a loving brother. I'm just the actual Kaoru in an alternate universe, in the place of the insecure Kaoru and no one knows that I have a loving brother."

Tamaki frowned as the words hit him.

"You are Kaoru," Tamaki replied. "You do have a loving brother, no one knows though."

"How do you know I'm Kaoru? Maybe I'm just really good at acting as my younger sibling," Kaoru scowled.

"Hikaru's not as sad as you," Tamaki whispered. "He's not as angry as you on the inside."

Kaoru stopped and began sobbing and Tamaki wanted to reach out and hug him, but he wasn't sure if he should.

"Is it that easy to tell?" Kaoru cried.

"I've always known that," Tamaki replied on accident. "Not when I was playing the game, but when you began in the club. I noticed the differences. I've payed attention to your development. Like a father."

"Wouldn't a father hug his child?" Kaoru whined. "I don't know, my parents were never home, it was just us..."

Tamaki wrapped his arms around Kaoru and brought him over to a bench and Kaoru tried to steady himself.

"Now I'm all alone," Kaoru sobbed.

"No, you have the Host Club," Tamaki reassured. "We're always here. Daddy's here."

Kaoru shook his head and placed it in his hands.

"What good is that? When you have no brother to love you?" Kaoru sobbed and shook his head again. "I want my Hikaru."

"Do you really?" Tamaki whispered.

"No... Hikaru needs to leave our world," Kaoru replied. "But I'm not sure I can."

Tamaki closed his eyes and whispered, "I thought about what you said, about how I don't want our statuses to change, and you're right."

Kaoru sighed and sobbed into his hands even harder. Tamaki rubbed Kaoru's back and closed his eyes; the feel of Tamaki's hand soothed Kaoru so he stopped crying. They sat like that until the rest of the Club came to get them after Haruhi took Lex home.

"You okay, Kao-kun, Tama-chan?" Hunny asked as he walked next to Mori, Kyouya and Hikaru were staring curiously, wondering the same thing.

Kaoru smiled and picked his head up out of his hands and nodded.

"You know what? I think I am," Kaoru laughed.

Hikaru smiled and walked forward and grasped Kaoru's hand.

"Let's go home, I'm exhausted," Hikaru chuckled.

**

* * *

**

**Hikaru's POV**

I didn't tell Haruhi, but that little demon wouldn't leave me alone. She kept nagging for Kaoru and wouldn't stop complaining about how I was going to hell. She's just one child though, Lex won't be my child when I'm older. I can't wait until I have my own children, I'm make sure they're nothing like that. Nothing like a religious fanatic.

Now that I think about it, I heard Kaoru say something about how he never wanted to get married _or_ have children. He also said he was in love already though. With whom?

Does Kaoru not like girls or something? I've noticed that he's nervous around me lately, I wonder if I've done something wrong.

I want to ask him, I really do.

Only, whenever I get close he asks me if he's gonna go to hell. Then he asks if I'd come with him.

**I want to... but...**


	6. Who's Gay?

**Note: I'd like to point out that I am Christian and am not making fun of the Christians through this story.**

**Fifth Day **_**After School**_

Kaoru sat under a table staring at the door, waiting for his torturer to walk through that door. He'd had to deal with her for almost a week already.

_"We're not visiting Haruhi this weekend!" _Kaoru had told Hikaru the night before. _"She'll probably have to babysit that brat this weekend."_

Hikaru had laughed at Kaoru and asked, _"What's with this __**we**__ stuff? Lex doesn't bother me."_

Kaoru had frowned and Hikaru had to try to reassure him that it was just a joke. Kaoru still wasn't convinced. The door finally opened a bit and he heard the little foot steps of a child and Haruhi walking into the room; shivers flew down Kaoru's spine.

"Kao-kun?" Lex whined. "Are you here today?"

Kaoru wanted to die so he wouldn't have to hear her voice, that wretched cursed voice that was the thing that damned him to hell in the first place. Kaoru probably never was going to go to hell, until this demon showed up. _Mom took us to church once, but no one was ever like this. They asked if you wanted to be saved and helped you if you wanted to. They never came up to you and said straight out, "You're gonna go to hell, want some help changing that?" Who'd go to a church like that? This girl obviously._

Kaoru smirked devilishly as he saw her look around for him. Kaoru had an idea.

_I'll spy on her this weekend, find out what her sins are. Then I'll track her down and tell her those sins so she'll get the hell off my back!_

Kaoru crawled out from under the table and walked lightly over with a bounce in his step, _Like Milord,_ and scooped Lex up off the ground and smiled at her.

"Awww, aren't you cute?" Kaoru cooed.

"Yay! Kao-kun!" Lex cheered and tried to hug Kaoru. Kaoru pulled her into an embrace.

Kaoru's hand twitched as he remembered this was the girl who'd ruined his life and made him cry in three days. Suddenly, Kaoru felt an urge to strangle her while she was in reach, but he held himself back.

"You feeling better?" Lex wondered.

"Much," Kaoru replied, truthfully, but was starting to feel horrible again.

"How's your love life going?" Lex lowered her voice so only Kaoru could hear her.

Kaoru moved her until he looked straight into her face.

"The _same,"_ Kaoru hissed.

"It's wrong to be homosexual," Lex continued in her hushed voice.

"It's wrong to be so mean to me, even if I am a non-believer!" Kaoru raised his voice. "I went to church for about two weeks when I was a child, I know a bit about Christianity."

"It's still wrong and he-"

Kaoru scowled and covered her mouth as she raised her voice to be louder than his. _This isn't some damn 'who's voice is louder?' contest!_

"Mmm-unnn! MMPH!" Lex tried to say under Kaoru's hand; Kaoru pushed harder onto her mouth until he could swear he felt the shape of her jaw under his fingers.

"Shut up!" Kaoru hissed. "No one needs to know that!"

"Know what, Kao-kun?" Hunny asked as he walked up to Kaoru and Lex.

"N-nothing!" Kaoru blushed and he released a bit on Lex's mouth.

"He doesn't like you!" Lex finally shouted between Kaoru's fingers.

"SHUT UP!" Kaoru snarled and pushed her down onto the ground, himself on top of her. **"Shut up! You don't even know who I like!"**

"You like _him!_ He doesn't like you that way! I see you look at him!" Lex yelled at Kaoru.

Kaoru snarled and tried to cover her mouth.

"Shut the hell up! If you're going to heaven then I'd be glad to go to hell! I CAN'T-"

"Kaoru!" Hikaru snapped as he pulled Kaoru off of her. "She's a child!"

Kaoru struggled in Hikaru's grasp.

"I don't care!" Kaoru spat. "She can't tell me that!"

"He doesn't love you," Lex stated as she stood up, brushing herself off and trying to breath again. Kaoru struggled in Hikaru's arms and Hikaru felt Kaoru's body begin going through the spasms he had usually before crying.

"How do you know?" Kaoru sobbed; he couldn't hide his tears.

"He doesn't look at you the same," Lex replied.

Kaoru began sobbing and Hikaru took him into an embrace.

"B-but..." Kaoru cried. "He does! He said he did!"

"Who?" Kyouya and Tamaki asked as they walked over.

"I don't know," Hikaru replied. Or did he know?

_You're an idiot!_ Kaoru shouted at Hikaru in his head. He wanted to struggle and run away, but he couldn't. Those strong arms around him, Kaoru couldn't run away from those. No matter how mad he was at the beholder of them. _You're an idiot! You can't see it? How can you NOT know who I love?_

"What's going on?" Haruhi asked as she walked over with Mori. Everyone gazed at Kaoru then at Lex. "What happened now?"

"I'm trying to tell him that his crush doesn't love him back," Lex replied. "His crush is a man too, that makes it even worse."

"Kaoru's gay?" Everyone except Hunny and Mori asked.

"No," Kaoru replied, embarassed. "Homosexuality is wrong-"

"It's even worse once you know who it is!" Lex added.

Kaoru struggled to get away from Hikaru.

"Let me tear her apart!" Kaoru snarled.

Haruhi bent down and covered Lex's mouth.

"As much as I'd like to know, I don't think Kaoru would appreciate that," Haruhi replied, quietly and kind.

Lex nodded.

"Can I go home now?" Lex asked quietly.

"GO HOME?" Kaoru snarled, still trying to get away. "You try to ruin my life and then all you want to do is GO HOME?"

"Kaoru!" Hikaru snapped.

"I'll tell on you if you keep acting like that!" Lex threatened.

Kaoru stopped struggling and placed his forehead against Hikaru's chest.

"No, please don't do that," Kaoru replied after a while.

"Is that why you don't wanna get married?" Lex questioned.

Kaoru began to cry.

"Leave me alone..."

_Just leave me alone._

**

* * *

**

**Kyouya's POV**

I've never really paid much attention to it before, but Kaoru is really jealous of Hikaru. Or maybe he's jealous _over_ Hikaru. I kind of feel bad for Kaoru, I know what it's like to love someone and they barely even realize you exist. Only, it's different for Kaoru. Kaoru's someone is really close to him, always has been.

But we have one thing in common.

**Our loved ones have made us cry.**

**

* * *

**

**Mori's and Hunny's POV**

Takashi and I have both noticed that Lex-chan bugs Kao-kun a lot, but we've known that for awhile. We've known the things that she knows for along time. We just didn't think they'd make Kao-kun cry. Or maybe we secretly did and that's why we never shared them. Mitsukuni and I have noticed that Kaoru seems like he's going to cry whenever he looks at Hika-chan. We've never known how that feels, since our loved one is right next to us and we know that. Sure, one day I'll go off and get married, one day Takashi will get married, but we'll still love eachother. I wonder if that can ever happen with Kao-kun.

It kind of looks like he wants to die, like he wants to kill himself. Kao-kun would never go that far.

**...Right?**


	7. Something Much More Important

**Fifth Day **_**Night Time**_

Hikaru pulled Kaoru's body close to him under the covers.

"Hikaru? What's wrong?" Kaoru asked, nervously, as he realized the difference in Hikaru's pattern of sleep. It was supposed to be bed time a few hours ago, but neither could get to sleep. Kaoru thought Hikaru finally got to sleep.

"I had a nightmare," Hikaru answered.

"You? A nightmare? What was it about?"

"You," Hikaru answered and kissed Kaoru's neck lightly. Kaoru blushed and twitched.

"Oh? So I'm what nightmares are made of."

"No," Hikaru groaned, moving closer to Kaoru. "I mean, you were gone."

"Oh," Kaoru sighed in relief. These dreams were regular nightly dreams for Kaoru, but that was different. "How was I gone?"

"You left me, first you went off with another person, and it was a guy! Then the next thing I know I'm at your funeral..."

Hikaru stopped and removed his lips from Kaoru's throat at the sudden sound of Kaoru laughing.

"Was something funny?" Hikaru spat.

Kaoru rolled over and caressed Hikaru's face with one hand.

"I'll never leave you," Kaoru reassured.

"You better keep that promise," Hikaru scowled, bringing Kaoru's hand up to his lips and kissed his hand. "Or I'll punish you."

Kaoru smiled and snuggled closer to his brother.

"Are you tempting me?" Kaoru whispered, maliciously. "Are you tempting me to go off with someone?"

Hikaru blinked at the realization of what his brother was saying. Hikaru opened his mouth to say something, only to close it. He instead smiled and cuddled closer to Kaoru.

"Are you _hitting_ on me?" Hikaru teased lightly.

"Do you not like it?" Kaoru asked as he shifted himself to be able to look into Hikaru's eyes. He smiled and kissed Hikaru's neck. "Do you not like being inferior, Nii-san?"

Hikaru gasped and hugged his brother and blushed out of Kaoru's view.

"I'm your older brother," Was Hikaru's only excuse.

**

* * *

**

**Sixth Day**

"Mm, Kaoru?" Hikaru moaned as he groped the bed for his missing brother. "Where are you?"

"Oh, over here, Hikaru. I didn't know you'd wake up yet," Kaoru's voice came to Hikaru.

Hikaru still hadn't opened his eyes.

"I woke up the moment you left," Hikaru spat. "Don't do that to me! I was dreaming about y-"

"What was that?" Kaoru asked, mischief evident in his tone.

"I was having another nightmare of you."

"That's why you were blushing and cuddling me for the past half hour right?" Kaoru laughed. "That's the only thing that prevented me from getting up."

Hikaru held his breath. It wasn't a dream after all.

He finally opened his eyes and gazed at his brother.

"Aii, Nii-san," Kaoru blushed as he was only in his boxers now. "I thought you weren't gonna open your eyes?"

"I wasn't," Hikaru replied as he began to sit up. "Now I'm kinda glad I did."

"Shut-up," Kaoru scowled.

"Where are you going anyway?" Hikaru inquired as he silently got up off the bed and embraced his brother from behind. He smiled at how Kaoru's muscles tensed in embarassment. Hikaru missed that feeling.

Kaoru breathed in quickly and struggled lightly in Hikaru's embrace. Both brothers knew that Kaoru didn't _really_ want to escape the elder brother's grasp. Hikaru loved having that power over Kaoru, he relished it. Hikaru brought his lips to Kaoru's neck and repeated his question. Kaoru finally answered, "I'm going to go see how to make that little devil feel bad. She's gonna pay for what she did yesterday."

"Without me?"

Kaoru laughed lightly at Hikaru's fake sadness.

"You make too much noise," Kaoru replied and struggled lightly. "Now, Hikaru, I need to get my clothes on."

"Tell me, who's the man you love?"

Kaoru choked quickly and he struggled a bit more.

"I don't know, what you're talking about," Kaoru lied, embarassed.

"Who is he?" Hikaru asked again, more forceful. He wrapped his arm tighter around Kaoru's stomach, and kept his arm around Kaoru's neck in place.

"Hikaru? Stop!" Kaoru whined and struggled a little more.

Hikaru didn't budge and squeezed Kaoru's stomach tighter and he put his lips by Kaoru's ear.

"Who... is... he?" Hikaru asked through clenched teeth.

_Is he... jealous? _Kaoru wondered.

"Why should it matter to you?" Kaoru scoffed.

"You're my brother!" Hikaru shouted. "I won't let some other person touch you! At least not a guy! That's just wrong."

"But, Hikaru," Kaoru whispered. "We're already going to hell, remember?"

Hikaru scowled and blew onto Kaoru's ear, making him shiver.

_"We're_ going to hell, you're not bringing _anyone_ with, understand?"

Kaoru smiled and nodded.

"So who is it?" Hikaru continued to bug.

"Hikaru?"

"What Kaoru?"

"I don't think I'll go spying on Lex today."

"What are you going to do?"

"Something... much more important."

Kaoru closed his eyes and placed his hands onto Hikaru's arm that was around his neck.

"Much more important."

**

* * *

**

**Kaoru's POV**

I know that Lex has made my life an absolute hell, but I actually have to admit, I like her, a lot. She's really cute and small, and she doesn't mean any harm in her words. I've come to ignore her as of recently. Of course, telling me that _**he**_ didn't love me was too much to take and I freaked out. He will always love me.

I mean, he has to, doesn't he? Without him I wouldn't be me, and I like to imagine that without me, he wouldn't be him.

**Unfortunately, Fate is a cruel Mistress.**


	8. Romeo and Juliet?

**Seventh Day **_**Hitachiin Household (Again)**_

"Romeo and Juliet?" Hikaru sneered as he crawled up next to Kaoru.

Kaoru blushed and tried to hide the book under the bed covers.

"What? What are you talking about?" Kaoru stumbled.

"That book you had!" Hikaru scowled as he tackled Kaoru down onto the bed and moved his arms around under Kaoru trying to get the book.

"Kaoru! Hikaru! What are you-" Their mother had started, but stopped when she walked into the room. She blushed lightly and responded as soon as the boys stared at her, "And what do you two devils think you're doing in my household?"

"Aii, Kaaza! Kaoru's hiding his book from me!" Hikaru scowled. "I'm just trying to get it."

"Kaoru? Are you reading something you shouldn't see?"

"No! Kaaza! It's... a classic love story," Kaoru blushed as he admitted it.

"Love story?" The two asked, curious. "When did you care about love stories?"

Kaoru's face went even redder and he struggled under Hikaru's weight. He moaned his brother's name and tried to push him off. Hikaru only smiled and finally got off of him. Hikaru told his mother, "It looked something like, Romeo and Juliet?"

"Really?" Their mom lifted an eyebrow curiously at Kaoru. "Why would some tragic love story like that interest you?"

"I'm just re-reading it!" Kaoru stumbled.

"I'm sure you are," Their mom stuck her tongue out.

Kaoru blushed and looked away. It bugged him sometimes, how much his mother reminded him of how he and Hikaru acted.

"So, is our relationship like Romeo and Juliet?" Hikaru wondered once their mom had left them alone. Kaoru blushed and shook his head slowly and leaned forward and touched his forehead to Hikaru's shoulder.

"Not really," Kaoru whispered. "Their families were in war with eachother, but they loved eachother. Eventually Juliet killed herself and Romeo killed himself with the poison remaining on her lips."

Hikaru smiled. "I... I'll have to bring that idea up to Kyouya."

"W-what?" Kaoru blushed.

"We'll be the main characters..." Hikaru teased.

But for some reason, Kaoru felt Hikaru wasn't kidding. And he wasn't.

**

* * *

**

**Seventh Day_ Later_**

The Hitachiin twins met up with the rest of the Host Club, including Lex.

"Ahh, Lex!" Kaoru smiled and he bounced over to her and scooped her up into his arms. "How's my favorite little girl?"

"Fine," Lex scowled. "But you aren't doing well, are you? You sinned again, didn't you?"

Kaoru smiled a little bigger and replied, low and aggressive, "And it was fun."

Lex struggled and Kaoru set her down and she ran behind Haruhi's leg and stayed there. For some reason, Kaoru liked that feeling. He enjoyed it. Almost as much as he liked being the dominant one. _Maybe children aren't so bad?_

"So what do you think?" Hikaru asked. Kaoru realized that he was there again for a moment. He smiled and listened to them.

"Mmm, it's interesting, but who would be the lead roles?" Kyouya replied.

"Haruhi will be Juliet!" Tamaki volunteered, and before he could say who was Romeo, Kyouya spoke up.

"Hikaru is Romeo, excellent choice," Kyouya smiled mischievously. He was about to write it down when, for the first time, Hikaru snapped at him.

"No! Kaoru's Juliet!"

Kaoru smiled and looked away. _I can only dream._

"Excuse me?" Everyone asked in disbelief.

"Kaoru's Juliet, I'm Romeo," Hikaru replied. "Is it that hard to understand?"

"No, but it's hard to believe," Haruhi replied. "You do realize there's a kissing scene right?"

Hikaru smiled.

"Hear that Kaoru?" Hikaru called.

"I read the book," Kaoru laughed.

The twins shared a glance.

_They're gonna wonder why you suggested I should be Juliet._

_So tell them the truth._

_Oh really now? What's that?_

_I can't stand being without you._

Kaoru blushed and looked away.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru whined.

Hikaru laughed and stalked over and put his hand on Kaour's shoulder.

"It'll be fun," Hikaru cooed and brought Kaoru's lips close to his. "Should we practice my kissing? I want to get it _purr_fect."

Kaoru blushed and gazed into Hikaru's eyes and sighed.

"If you want, I guess," Kaoru gave up.

Hikaru smiled and pulled Kaoru off.

"Read this story to me!" Hikaru started as he was taking Kaoru home.

"No," Kaoru scowled. "No way."

"Why not?"

"Mom's already suspicious from this morning when you tackled me!"

"Oh, you know you liked it!"

"That's not the point Hikaru!"

"So it's true?"

"I-I never said that!"

"But you applied it," Hikaru cooed as he ran his hand down Kaoru's back.

"Hikaru!"

**

* * *

**

**Hikaru's POV**

Kaoru's been acting really weird lately. I'd never admit this to him, but I like it. The way he shivers when I touch him; the way he shivers makes me want to do it even more. I'd never tell him that though, he'd probably kill me. I want to him that, that I like the way he shivers, that I like the way he looks at me. That I _love_ the way he snuggles up with me. Hell, I could make a whole list on all the reasons why I love him! Can't really think of any reason why I hate him...

I guess, I hate him for making me feel weird like. I don't know what it is, but he's my brother, and I know that. I hate him for giving me nightmares about him leaving me. I hate him for making me cry worst of all. I hate him for crying himself. I just want to take all his pain away.

I'm gonna like this Romeo and Juliet play. Believe it or not, I'm really nervous and uptight about this kissing scene. Kaoru looks so cute when I talk about it though and he blushes, so it's probably gonna be loads of fun. I noticed Kaoru is starting to get along with Lex... err, Lex is becoming afraid of Kaoru, what's happened? The fear changed positions or something. Whatever it is, I like it. Kaoru cuddles more.

I like this new predicament... does Kaoru too?

**Then why do I see him crying when he thinks I'm not looking?**


	9. A Twinkle of the Eye

**The Eight Day**

Kaoru didn't seem to know how to handle it. Why though, did Kaoru take it so seriously?

"It's just a couple weeks, hunny!" His mother had reassured him. "I do it all the time! Why are you so sensitive now?"

I guess, Kaoru just thought he might have a normal family for once. Where they never left him.

"What's wrong, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked him on the walk to school.

"I was thinking, we were so close to mom and dad as children," Kaoru replied, very quiet.

"So? Then they went on business trips when we turned four and we started preschool."

"We were close as children," Kaoru barely said, it was more of a whisper.

Hikaru wasn't gonna say anything, but he was staring at Kaoru. He was worried about his little brother, something... different had been going on with Kaoru.

"But we're still together," Hikaru replied, giving a squeeze to their entwined hands.

Kaoru shook his head but squeaked, "Yeah, I guess... you're right."

Hikaru knew better. He knew Kaoru was thinking something else, but Hikaru had learned to keep his mouth shut.

He tried to pretend his brother wasn't crying.

**

* * *

**_**English**_

Kaoru was doing his assignment and smiling.

Hikaru noticed that Kaoru's book report was infact on Romeo and Juliet which would explain why Kaoru was so interested in it. Only... the assignments were assigned that day. Kaoru didn't have psychic powers where he'd know that the teacher would assign him this book and then he'd be able to analyze it well. Hikaru hated that.

He told Kaoru not to do it; he warned Kaoru not to show off how smart he was. Kaoru never listened when it came to his favorite classes.

"Please, don't say anything about the Host Club," Kaoru whispered to Hikaru as he sat down and all the girls were fawning over Kaoru.

This displeased Hikaru greatly. Not Kaoru's words, but how all the girls were all over Kaoru. Not the Hitachiin twins. Kaoru.

_My Kaoru._

Hikaru's muscles tensed and he didn't know if he could hold back a yell; he was different than Kaoru, he didn't have as much self control.

"Oh, Kaoru-kun! You like romantics?" One girl asked as she blushed and squealed.

Kaoru blushed and shook his head, "Well... umm, n-not really."

"Ooh, how was that book last week? Should I read it?" Another asked.

Kaoru nodded and smiled at them. They all squealed.

"Kaoru-kun is so cute!"

Hikaru couldn't take it. He stood up and walked inbetween Kaoru and the girls and put his hands on Kaoru's shoulders.

"You read romantic books, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru blushed and shook his head. "O-of course not."

"Mmm, you do, don't you?" Hikaru questioned as he ran a long finger down Kaoru's arm. There was his long anticipated rush; Kaoru shivered.

All the girls squealed and cheered. The guys scoffed and looked away and back to their work.

Except one.

Hikaru noticed this and he raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Well, you know Hikaru, they're really entertaining," Kaoru finally answered.

"Is that why you've been so flirty lately?" Hikaru chuckled.

Kaoru blushed and lowered his head a bit.

"Hikaru, don't talk about that stuff in public, it's really embarassing," Kaoru whispered, almost like a whine. Hikaru smiled and blew on Kaoru's ear.

"Lex-chan's gonna bug you guys about this tonight," Haruhi finally interupted.

The twins and everyone looked up to Haruhi and Kaoru frowned as he felt that usual twinkle in Hikaru's eye. Kaoru hated how Hikaru looked at her, it's how he used to look at him. Only, Hikaru never looked at Kaoru like that anymore.

_Is he bored of me? _Kaoru wondered nervously.

"What do you mean by that?" Kaoru finally asked as Haruhi took her seat next to Kaoru.

"Lex-chan came with me to school today, her mom's in the hospital and the school administration said it's okay if she comes with me to school and my dad said it's okay if she stays with me," Haruhi replied.

Kaoru held his breath, he felt sick again. Something was different though, today.

Kaoru knew that it wasn't because Haruhi was by Hikaru, because that wasn't true, for Haruhi sat next to Kaoru and Kaoru sat next to Hikaru. Sure Lex was in a seat next to Kaoru, but there was something about _Haruhi_ that was different.

Kaoru blushed greatly as he noticed a berret in Haruhi's hair.

"Oi, you're such a klutz!" Kaoru scowled her as he pulled it out of her hair.

"OOH! Kaoru-kun likes Haruhi-kun!" The girls squealed.

"Huh? No I don't!" Kaoru replied, blushing as he sat down.

He growled and whispered, "You owe me now."

Haruhi blinked at him and Kaoru waved the berret over her hand. She blushed and took it from him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, thanks Kaoru."

Hikaru felt a tinge of jealousy again. Why now though? It was just Kaoru and Haruhi, they talked all the time. Was something different?

Was that... a twinkle in Kaoru's eye?

Hikaru frowned and looked away, but why did this bother him? He knew Kaoru had to leave him sometime.

_But now? _Hikaru thought. _When we're about to do a play?_

Hikaru stared at the two and thought that maybe Kaoru should be Romeo, and Haruhi should be Juliet. Then Hikaru felt that jealousy again and he shook his head. He tried to tell himself that there would be no where there could ever be a connection between Haruhi and Kaoru. No way in hell. Hikaru frowned as he thought about that saying. Kaoru was told he was going to hell, but what if he was going to heaven? He probably was. If that was true then the phrase, "No way in hell." wouldn't apply to this situation. That means there was a chance that Haruhi and Kaoru could be together, because there was no absolute assurance that Kaoru was going to hell.

"So, you really take good care of this kid, huh?" Kaoru asked. How long had he been talking?

Haruhi nodded. "Yeah, she's just so sweet."

"You'll be a great mother someday," Kaoru replied, quietly and smoothly.

Hikaru blushed and felt a tear tug at his eye. He shook his head and looked away. Kaoru only talked like that with Hikaru, he just couldn't talk like that with Haruhi. This must've been a dream. A horrible, horrible dream.

"Thanks, Kaoru," Haruhi whispered. "But I don't think you should say that in the classroom."

"Don't worry, no one heard it. I just had to tell you as well."

Kaoru smiled and moved his chair closer to Haruhi.

"Ummm, when's the teacher coming back into the room?" Haruhi wondered. "I know she left to talk to the administrators about having a five year old in here with her class."

"I dunno, she left for you," Kaoru replied quietly, gazing into her eyes.

Haruhi blushed and Hikaru felt angry suddenly.

_My brother? Haruhi? Without me? _Hikaru thought to himself. _That's not allowed._

Hikaru stood up and walked out of the room, bumping into the teacher.

"Kaoru-kun? What's wrong?" The teacher asked. "Are you feeling sick again?"

"Hikaru, not Kaoru," Hikaru scowled. _Kaoru gets sick a lot?_

"Oh, what's wrong?"

"I feel sick."

The teacher frowned and opened her mouth but closed it.

"Okay."

Kaoru stared at the door that Hikaru left through and saw the teacher walk in.

"Teacher? Where's Hikaru?" Kaoru spoke up.

"Oh, he's gone to the nurse, he feels sick," The teacher replied and began class again.

Kaoru frowned.

"Hikaru? Sick?"

Lex frowned and looked at Kaoru and then Haruhi and whispered under her breath so no one heard her, "I saw him look at you."

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

I know Kao-kun hasn't been feeling good lately, and he doesn't seem to mind that he sins. I've noticed something though, he doesn't gaze at Hika-chan much anymore, but Hika-chan stares at Kao-kun a lot now. It's like, they switch feelings.

Hika-chan left class, saying he was sick. Maybe... Hika-chan retreated back into the world of 'us' that he shared with Kao-kun and... oh I don't know...

**Maybe Haru-chan had already pulled Kao-kun out?**


	10. The Twins' Odd Quirks

**Eight Day**_** During Club**_

Kaoru was walking outside, waiting for someone. He felt weird, waiting for someone that wasn't Hikaru. Hikaru was going to go home, but then he insisted he was fine and he stayed, but now he was at the club.

Kaoru had recieved a note earlier in the day:

_Dear Hitachiin Kaoru,_

_I've noticed you around for awhile, and I'd just like to say that I'd like to meet you sometime. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you meet me in the Rose Maze after school? I know you have club, but I'd feel too embarassed if I walked into the club because of how I look._

_If you wouldn't mind, I'd like you to come alone, your brother Hikaru-kun doesn't seem to be nice and he'd probably beat me up or yell at me after he read this. He seems pretty protective of you._

_Thank you so much,_

_Your secret admirer_

Kaoru had been baffled by the note. He had a secret admirer? Then the person was probably right, Hikaru probably would yell. Beat them up though? Hikaru doesn't beat up girls.

"Maybe..." Kaoru whispered as he arrived at the Rose Maze. "It's not a... girl?"

Kaoru ran into the Rose Maze and ran into a person by the table hidden in the roses.

"Hi..." The person greeted, blushing. "You're Kaoru-kun right?"

Kaoru stood speechless and nodded.

"Yes, yes I am."

**

* * *

**_**At Club**_

Hikaru was pacing and walking over to the window and staring out of it, even though he knew the fountain was below and not the place where Kaoru was meeting his admirer. He was upset, and he wanted to beat the person up. Something worried him though.

_Is it that guy from class who wouldn't stop staring at him?_

"Hikaru-kun? Are you okay?" Some of his designators asked.

"Mmm, Kaoru's meeting an admirer," Hikaru replied.

"Ooh, an admirer?" They squealed.

Hikaru touched the window.

_"He wasn't there."_

Hikaru blinked. Where did that come from? Where did those words come from? Where they his? No, they were Kaoru's, but Kaoru wasn't here. He was in the Rose Maze.

Suddenly he got a bit excited, maybe the person wasn't there? Then a lump caught his throat. _He_ wasn't there. Kaoru sounded dissapointed. Did Kaoru think it was a guy who was crushing on him? No, Kaoru would've said something like, _"Oh, they weren't here."_

Hikaru felt nervous. Was he... talking about Hikaru?

"Kaoru..." Hikaru whined.

The girls stared at eachother and shrugged.

Lex walked over and stood next to Hikaru.

"I saw," Lex replied.

"Saw what?" Hikaru growled.

"The way you looked at him. No one else saw."

Hikaru felt sick and he wanted to cry suddenly.

"We're brothers."

"But you don't want to be just brothers, do you?"

Hikaru felt angry and he clenched his fists.

"Why did you sin with him, anyway?" Lex asked quietly. "No one's listening."

Hikaru took a deep breath and blushed. Finally, he replied, "We were curious, about the dynamics."

"What do you mean?" Lex questioned further.

"Well, it's just..."

Haruhi walked over, "Lex-chan? Are you bugging Hikaru?"

They both shook their heads.

"I'm asking Hika-chan a personal question."

"A question we'd like to know too," Kyouya and Tamaki replied as they walked over with Mori and Hunny behind them, nodding their heads.

Hikaru sighed.

"Not with people here."

Kyouya took a long time to get all the customers out, telling them that Club had ended early and trying to be as nice and romantic as possible. It almost was enough to make Hikaru burst out laughing, with how the girls took it. Somehow, the deed was done and everyone crowded around Hikaru.

"Who did Kaoru have sex with?" Some of them asked and Hikaru blushed.

"Well... it was..."

"Him," Lex responded for Hikaru.

First a look of disgust, then surprise, then amusement crossed the member's faces.

"Why did you two do that?" Tamaki asked finally.

"Well, we were... listening to mom and dad I guess. They were watching a movie, and we got curious and we asked mom and dad about it. They tried to explain it, but Kaoru and I were still curious. We wanted to know how it looked. So... we... tried it."

Hikaru blushed and sat on the window and stared out the window.

"That's, basically it," Hikaru finished.

"But, a man and a man?" Tamaki asked curiously. "How did that solve your questions?"

"I... I never said it did!" Hikaru replied, his face pure red.

"Did you ever do it again?" Haruhi wondered.

"None of your business," Hikaru scowled.

"Do you _want_ to do it again?" Kyouya inquired.

"Umm, no, why would I?"

Kyouya smiled and looked away. "No reason."

**

* * *

**_**With Kaoru**_

Kaoru was laughing with the person and stroking the rose's petals.

"You're really funny," Kaoru admitted.

"You really think so?" The person asked.

"Yeah, I do..." Kaoru whispered.

The person smiled at Kaoru and touched his hand. Kaoru winced for a moment at how cold it was.

_People on the outside don't feel the same as we do._

Kaoru looked at them and smiled.

"You like roses?" Kaoru asked.

The person blushed and nodded. "Yeah, don't tell anyone else that though."

Kaoru laughed and blushed a bit. "No problem."

Kaoru took a rose off the Maze and put it in the persons hair.

"There you go, maybe I should give you one for Valentine's day too, no?" Kaoru laughed.

"I-I'd like that," the person stumbled. "Say, why are you so sad all the time?"

Kaoru stopped and thought about it and replied, "He wasn't there when I came back for him."

"Oh..."

Kaoru smiled and moved a piece of hair out of the persons face.

"Don't worry about it," Kaoru chuckled. "It's okay, really."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

The person looked at Kaoru unsure.

"I'm... okay."

Finally the person grabbed Kaoru's hand as it rested on their forehead. They smiled and blushed lightly.

Kaoru smiled and whispered, "You're... really pretty."

"I always thought you were like Hikar-kun. You're not though, you're really nice and sweet."

Kaoru closed his eyes and blushed.

The person walked closer to Kaoru and kissed Kaoru's forehead.

"Can I come to the Host Club?"

"You might be embarassed, and Hikaru and I are always together," Kaoru explained warily.

"You know what? I don't really care anymore," The person replied and looked straight into Kaoru's eyes. "Can I do something that I've wanted to do for a long time now?"

Kaoru nodded and added, "As long as you don't rape me, it's okay."

The person laughed and locked lips with Kaoru. Kaoru blushed and carefully wrapped his arms around the person.

**

* * *

**

**Kaoru's POV**

I met someone really wonderful today. It was really nice, they were really kind and sweet, and interested in romantic stories even! It was nice to be able to talk to someone about stuff that really interested me besides Hikaru. Besides, Hikaru had different views than me. He liked children and he wanted to get married. Another weird thing happened while I was with this wonderful and weird person. First, this person was an outsider. Second...

The person was a man.

I'd noticed him in class sometimes, he'd stare at me and blush whenever I looked his way, and then he'd quickly turn around. I always thought it was because I was weird or something. Or maybe he could see through me, maybe he knew how I really felt about the male who always sat beside me. It was weird. I had my first kiss. Well...

**My first kiss with an outsider that is.**


	11. Secret Admirer Isn't So Secret

**The Ninth Day**

Hikaru wouldn't leave Kaoru alone. It wasn't really... his fault, Kaoru just wouldn't stop smiling.

"What's wrong?" Hikaru kept whining.

Kaoru would never answer.

Hikaru eventually got worried enough and he went off and he talked to Haruhi. Suddenly, the teacher said that Haruhi and Hikaru were grouped up for the book report. Hikaru was appalled, then shocked when he wasn't partners with Kaoru. Of course, he was pissed when he found out that Kaoru had been grouped with someone else for the report. _That_ kid who was staring at Kaoru the other day. Hikaru felt angry as he thought that _he_ might be the reason that Kaoru was smiling and being non-resonsive to Hikaru.

Hikaru hated it.

"Kaoru's grouped with the American transfer student," Some of the kids whispered.

"What's his name," Hikaru growled at them.

"His name's Christopher!" One of them shrieked at how mad Hikaru looked.

"Christopher?" Hikaru repeated. "He's dead."

Kaoru was laughing with him, which make Hikaru even madder.

"Seriously? Oh man, that's amazing! America's one of the countries I haven't been to yet," Kaoru had chuckled.

"Yeah, but they're way overprotective, it's kind of annoying," Chris replied.

"So, were you rich in America?"

"Not really, but my parents got a really great job offer here, so now we are."

"That's cool, wanna go to an amusement park or something this weekend?" Kaoru asked.

"Sure!"

Hikaru scowled and felt bad. Kaoru wanted to go somewhere, without him.

_Did I do something to deserve this? _Hikaru wondered as he saw Kaoru laugh with Chris.

"Sure, he can come, as long as he doesn't murder me," Hikaru heard Chris reply to something. What did Kaoru ask.

"Great! I'll tell him at Club," Kaoru responded happily.

Hikaru frowned, Kaoru was supposed to be happy with him and only him.

**

* * *

**_**After School**_

Hikaru had cornered Kaoru in a bathroom stall.

"How'd your secret admirer go?" Hikaru almost snarled.

"Really well, why?" Kaoru answered.

Hikaru grasped Kaoru's chin and pulled his lips close to his.

"Did he touch you?" Hikaru asked, making Kaoru blush and shiver at the feel of his breath.

"Why would you ask such a thing?" Kaoru whispered. "And who said it wasn't a girl designator?"

"Was it Christopher?" Hikaru snarled.

"That's Christopher-kun to you!" Kaoru replied, angrily. "Don't be so mean Hikaru."

"You stop being so mean!" Hikaru shouted at him. "I won't let anyone else touch you!"

Kaoru blushed and tried to think of what to say.

"Hikaru..."

Hikaru closed his eyes and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around Kaoru and began crying whilst still in the kiss. Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru as well.

"You're so silly," Kaoru chuckled after Hikaru stopped to take a breather. "You think I'd leave you?"

"What?" Hikaru asked, in disbelief.

"I've been waiting for you to come back."

Kaoru kissed Hikaru's forehead and smiled solemnly.

_I'm still hiding somewhere in our world Hikaru, come and find me if you dare._

Hikaru began sobbing and Kaoru chuckled and held Hikaru.

"It's alright," Kaoru soothed. "It's alright now, I'm here now."

Kaoru was tempted to say, _You're here with me now._

**

* * *

**

**Tamaki's POV**

I've noticed, Hikaru stares at Kaoru, but Kaoru doesn't return the gaze anymore. Hikaru now has the sad and glazed gaze, but Kaoru doesn't look back. He doesn't look at anyone anymore. Kaoru even refuses to look at me when I gaze at him. It's like he's completely forgotten we even exist any more. Or maybe he wants us to forget that even he exists anymore? I used to be like Kaoru's therapist, he'd come and cry to me. Lately, ever since I confessed that I could see the difference, he hasn't been talking to me. He hasn't been talking to anyone. I've noticed that he talks to that new transfer student. Is Kaoru being nice? Or is he actually leaving us?

I've noticed the sadness behind his eyes when he does rarely stare at me or Hikaru. It's like that of a lost child, I used to have those eyes. Kaoru has a secret magic, but he's losing it. When someone loses their magic, doesn't that mean they're wilting and dying? Flowers have a special magic when they're blooming, but some die faster than others. The weather kills them sometimes. Did something happen to Kaoru that was like the weather and that made him wilt?

I don't really know anymore. I'm afraid that Haruhi sees me look at them sometimes though, she looks worried when she stares at me though. Is she trying to tell me that something is going on with the twins in the classrooms too? This can't be good. I've taught those boys everything, where did I go wrong? Where did they go wrong?

**Is there anything I can do? Or is Fate taking more loved ones from me?**


	12. I Like Him Better When He Cries

**The Tenth Day**_** At Club**_

"Where the hell were you?" Tamaki asked, annoyed, as the twins came into the music room.

"Hmmm? What do you mean?" The twins asked together.

"Last night," Kyouya responded. "We had a bit of a decrease in customers. It's gonna cost Haruhi for your dallying."

"Huh? WHAT?" Haruhi wondered, angry.

"Haha, just kidding, Haruhi," Kyouya chuckled.

"Eh, that's mean," The twins chimed. _Just like the Shadow King, huh?_

"But where were you two?" Tamaki insisted.

Kaoru blushed and grabbed Hikaru's hand.

"Somewhere," They both answered.

Tamaki raised an eyebrow but didn't interogate any further.

"Like where?" Lex asked.

"The bathroom," Hikaru responded. Kaoru blushed, closed his eyes, and nodded.

Everyone was quiet for a moment, wanting to question further, yet thinking about how much they'd regret if they did. I mean, this was the TWINS. Who knew what they did in the bathroom together?

"What did you do?" Lex finally asked.

Hikaru smiled and wrapped his arm around Kaoru's waist and pulled him close to him. "Want us to demonstrate?"

Lex raised an eyebrow and thought about it, finally, she nodded. This shocked the twins, but it was enough of an invitation for Hikaru to go into Kaoru's mouth.

Kaoru blushed and kissed back.

Haruhi looked at Lex. She seemed utterly disgusted, yet amused all at once. Haruhi thought it was okay, for she didn't care about genders in the first place.

"Is that all you did in the bathroom?" Kyouya spoke up.

Hikaru pulled his mouth and tongue away from Kaoru's and smiled at the Shadow King.

"I... don't think we should demonstrate _that_ infront of a child. I don't want to scarr her for life, you know? I think it might scarr some of you for life too."

"Hikaru!" Kaoru snapped.

Haruhi smiled and chuckled. If the customers were there, they'd take what they were saying now to heart, but the Club knew better. The twins would _never _do that. Or... at least not on school grounds.

"Mmm, but Kaoru, you were just so cute, I couldn't resist."

Hikaru began licking Kaoru's neck and seriously grossing most of the Club out. So Tamaki told them to knock it off before one of the customers walked into the Club; Tamaki didn't approve of the twins' act going that far during Club hours.

"Maybe we should go back to the bathroom?" Hikaru teased Kaoru and Kaoru shook his head.

"No, I got a friend coming. I told them not to come yesterday because you pulled me off, and knowing you, I told him I probably wouldn't be there."

Hikaru scowled and kissed Kaoru again.

"Is that brat Chris?" Hikaru snarled.

"Chris-kun, and maybe it is," Kaoru corrected, annoyed.

"Did he touch you?" Hikaru wondered as he ran his finger down Kaoru's spine.

Kaoru sighed and replied, "Ye-not really."

Hikaru was about to complain until some customers came in. They squealed the moment they saw the scene; Hikaru sat on the couch holding Kaoru, Kaoru was sitting on Hikaru's lap with his legs on the next cusion over.

"Oh! So cute!" They squealed.

"They like it Milord!" Hikaru shouted.

"I don't care, stop it!" Tamaki yelled. "They're gonna get enough of it in the play!"

"What play?" Came a male voice. Everyone blushed and turned to see a tall, pale, blonde, male with crystal blue eyes.

"Our Romeo and Juliet play," Kaoru, Hikaru, and Haruhi spoke up. "Didn't you know about it, Chris-kun?"

Chris shook his head no and he walked over to the twins and sat down on an opposite couch. He blushed a bit and sighed, Kaoru laughed and settled his head against Hikaru's chest. As more girls came into the room for the afternoon host club activities, the room was filled with squeals.

"Why are girls so loud?" Kaoru complained quietly.

"I don't know, I think it's cute," Hikaru admitted.

"I don't."

Hikaru looked down at Kaoru worridly but decided not to ask during Club hours and he tried to shake Kaoru off of his lap. Only, Kaoru didn't want to move.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! What did I tell you?" Tamaki snapped at them.

"Oii, but Dad, I like it," Kaoru complained, with cute eyes you'd expect to see on Hunny, not Kaoru.

All the girls screamed.

"It's so cute!"

Tamaki sighed and stalked away; Hikaru kissed Kaoru's head.

"See? Even Milord can't resist you, and you expect me to keep my hands off you?" Hikaru scolded.

Kaoru smiled and closed his eyes and cuddled his head on Hikaru's chest, making Hikaru shiver. Kaoru smiled at the motion and he finally responded, "But Hikaru, I never said that I wanted you to keep your hands off me, infact, I encouraged it, remember?"

Hikaru chuckled, "Oh yeah, how could I have forgotten?"

A little while into club, people began to wonder why a boy was in the room who wasn't a host.

"Who's he here for?"

"Isn't he that American kid?"

"Hey, is that Chris-kun? Why's he with the Hitachiins?"

"Think he has a crush on Kaoru-kun?"

"No way, he has to be here for Hikaru-kun."

The rumors and questions just continued to spread until Chris finally spoke up, "Kaoru? I don't know how to do any of this."

Hikaru felt a rush of anger as his brother's name was used without an honorific.

"Oh, sorry Chris."

Kaoru struggled off of Hikaru's lap and sat next to Hikaru.

"Want us to go somewhere else?" Kaoru wondered.

Chris nodded and Hikaru fumed. Who the hell did this boy think he was?

Chris and Kaoru got up and walked over to a vacant couch and sat, laughing and eating some cookies.

"So, Kaoru, what's the Host Club like?" Chris asked.

"Oh, it's really annoying sometimes, but it's totally worth it with the people we meet. You're good at metaphors aren't you? Think of it as a family, or a carriage, like in the Cinderella story," Kaoru explained.

"I guess that does make sense," Chris replied as he took a sip of tea. "It really kind of does if you think about it."

Kaoru chuckled, but stopped when he heard Chris' next question.

"Did you and Hikaru-kun have your own world? I heard that you two were very quiet and distant before you joined the Host Club. Was it lonely enough to make your own little world to live in?"

Kaoru smiled and whispered, "You're the first person to get that, even Hikaru doesn't."

Chris smiled and added, "What was it before?"

"It was just... us and them."

"Not what is it?"

"Oh, it's still us and them," Kaoru responded quietly. "With a twist. Our world's gates and defenses have been broken, and Hikaru wandered off into the world of them. I was too scared to go out and find him, or find my own way in that world. Our lock was broken, and it scared me, so I hid. I'm still hidden."

"But I came and found you."

Kaoru smiled and closed his eyes as he sipped some tea.

"I couldn't have said it better myself."

**

* * *

**

**Hikaru's POV**

I'm really mad at Kaoru right now. He's talking to that... weird transfer kid. Chris-kun is a freak, and Kaoru's talking to him. It kind of disgusts me in a way, that Kaoru would actually go off and hang out with another person. I know something went on between those two, how they can talk so calmly. Something happened the other day. I'm sure Chris-kun was Kaoru's secret admirer, that means he met Kaoru a few days ago. What did he do to my brother? I know he touched him, and I'm kissing Kaoru all over just trying to find out where. I think I already found the spot, but I lost it. Was it the lips?

Would someone _dare_ kiss my Kaoru's lips? Someone who's not even from this country? Someone who's a completely weird child?

**I like Kaoru better when he's crying. I like him better when he's in pain.**


	13. Home Alone? With A Twin

**The Tenth Day**_** Hitachiin Household**_

Kaoru sat in his pants on the toilet, listening to the rushing of the water from the bathtub. It made him smile, at how life seemed like water. No matter how much Kaoru wanted, he could never stop the flow of life with his own hands. He'd need something large to stop it. Even then, it wouldn't stop entirely.

"Kaoru? You in there?" Hikaru asked as he knocked on the door.

Kaoru looked at the door and blinked, like he'd never heard Hikaru's voice before.

"Huh?"

"Are you in there?" Hikaru asked again.

"Umm, yeah."

Kaoru stood up and opened the door, the breeze of the outside freezing his naked upper half and his bare feet.

"Geez, Hikaru, what do you want?" Kaoru scowled.

"Something," Hikaru replied as he pushed Kaoru into the bathroom and shut the door behind them.

"W-what are you doing?" Kaoru gasped as Hikaru pushed Kaoru into the tub, his head banging against the wall and a pulsation throbbing through his head. "Hikaru!"

Hikaru didn't reply and suddenly, Kaoru realized what was going to happen. He'd dreamed this would happen so often, it was surprising. Hikaru try to drown Kaoru, and then Kaoru would spazz out and push him and run away. Then the next day, Hikaru would be found in the bathroom, where he drowned himself.

Something different was happening though. Kaoru... didn't want to run away. He didn't want Hikaru to end up dying.

"Hikaru, don't do this," Kaoru whispered through his clenched teeth and he struggled to move. He couldn't. Hikaru was on top of him, staring into his face. They were both soaking wet. "H-hikaru?"

"Yes, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked in a low, mournful voice.

Kaoru felt sick and sad and he began to cry.

"I have a headache Hikaru, stop it."

The hands wrapped around Kaoru's neck and Kaoru sobbed even harder, because this time it wasn't a dream. Kaoru felt the hands, the blood rushing through them. Kaoru could feel his heart in his ears, his twins heart pounding just as fiercely. No, this couldn't be a dream, but Kaoru found himself wishing it was.

_I'll just wake up and Hikaru will hold me._ Kaoru told himself.

As the hands squeezed tighter around Kaoru's throat he sobbed, and the grip released itself.

Kaoru stared into the eyes, they were definetly Hikaru's.

"Hi-Hikaru?" Kaoru sobbed.

Hikaru smiled and reached over and turned off the water, as it was spilling onto the floor. He climbed into the tub next to Kaoru and pulled him close. Now they both drenched, but Kaoru didn't care. Hikaru wasn't gonna try to kill him. That meant something.

_Then they're all just dreams?_

"Hikaru," Kaoru sobbed deeper and deeper, the intense heat of the water scorching their skins. "Don't scare me like that."

Hikaru smiled and Kaoru struggled to get away.

"Hikaru, this water is _burning,_ by god, I think it could even kill us if we stay in here too long," Kaoru scowled. "Let's go to bed."

"No."

Kaoru struggled and cried as he swore he could feel his skin burn away. Kaoru sobbed as he realized he was dying, and it hurt all the worse because Hikaru was dying too. Hikaru was dying _quicker._

"Please, Kaoru," Hikaru whimpered. "Don't leave me."

Kaoru stopped and gazed into his brothers mournful eyes and he closed his own and rested his head onto Hikaru's shirt.

"I finally found you. Please don't leave me."

All the feeling left Kaoru's body as Hikaru stopped breathing.

* * *

"Hikaru!" Kaoru gasped as he opened his eyes. There was water at his feet and all over the floor. He quickly glanced at the steaming tub as it overflowed. "Oh, it was only a dream." 

Kaoru sighed in relief as he stood up and began cleaning up the bathroom. His feet were scorched and the hallway carpet was drenched. Just as Kaoru was about to climb into the tub, he heard a knock on the door. His heart jumped. _Did I fall asleep again?_

"Kaoru?" Hikaru's voice came.

Kaoru dreaded it, but he opened the door anyway. His last dream felt real, but this didn't. Maybe this was real then?

"What's wrong with the carpet? It's soaked?" Hikaru laughed as Kaoru opened the door.

Kaoru blushed at the same time Hikaru did when they both realized Kaoru wasn't wearing anything.

"Sorry," They both said at the same time.

Hikaru smiled and pushed Kaoru in and closed the door.

_Then he tries to drown me._

Hikaru began undressing and Kaoru felt annoyed as he realized this _was_ real. This was the same obnoxoius Hikaru.

"What the hell are you doing?" Kaoru questioned as he sat in the tub, the heat _almost _unbearable.

"Shut up," Hikaru laughed as he climbed into the tub behind Kaoru.

Kaoru began thrashing a bit.

"Hikaru? What are you doing?" Kaoru almost yelled.

Hikaru laughed and Kaoru calmed as he felt Hikaru start to rub the soap on Kaoru's body. Kaoru blushed and stopped squirming.

"What... are you doing?"

Kaoru could already see Hikaru's smile as Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and pulled him back so Kaoru could look at Hikaru's face.

"You don't clean yourself well enough," Hikaru laughed. "Seriously, you taste awful all over."

Kaoru smiled.

_He finally found me, and I won't leave._

"Like _where_ all over?" Kaoru asked mischeviously.

Hikaru took the soap and ran it up Kaoru's stomach.

"You're tummy tastes really bad, and so does your legs, and your neck too," Hikaru explained as ran the soap over the areas he named.

"Anywhere else?" Kaoru wondered, almost dreading what kind of thing his brother could use to make him shiver and tremble.

Hikaru smiled and leaned in closer and whispered into Koaru's ear, "Actually, yes, but would you really allow me to touch you there in the bathtub?"

Kaoru smiled and closed his eyes.

"As long as it's you touching me and not someone else."

Hikaru laughed and hugged Kaoru from behind, making Kaoru blush.

"Don't hug me like that, we're in a bathtub," Kaoru scolded.

Hikaru smiled, "But you like it."

Kaoru stopped and rested himself. He thought about his terrible dream that he had only minutes ago. Or was it hours ago? With Hikaru, Kaoru lost time.

"We won't make it to school tomorrow," Kaoru whined as he felt sleepy.

"I'll carry you," Hikaru laughed. "You want me to help you finish your bath?"

Kaoru smiled and nodded. It had been over three years since Kaoru last took a bath with Hikaru, he missed it.

"Hikaru? You wanna go out on Saturday to an amusement park?"

Hikaru thought about it, he had heard Chris talking to Kaoru about an amusement park. So, Kaoru wanted to invite Hikaru too, that's the other person he mentioned.

"Chris is going out on a date with his new girlfriend, and he was nervous and asked me to come with him, because he likes me more that way than her. He thought he'd feel more comfortable, but I pointed out that his girlfriend would be curious, so I suggested make it into a double date," Kaoru explained.

"Oh, so you want me to hang out with his girlfriend while you two get lovey dovey?" Hikaru snarled as gave a long, slimy lick up his neck.

Kaoru shivered. "No, I wanted to go with you. It's a double date."

Hikaru stopped and Kaoru couldn't help but blush at the breath on his neck.

"A date?"

"Yeah, a date."

"You mean, an actual date?"

"An actual date," Kaoru replied.

"Can I take you out to dinner?" Hikaru questioned.

"If you want."

"Can I finish the night... romantically?"

Kaoru smiled and blushed. "Please."

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

I haven't been bugging the twins at Ouran High School much lately. They don't seem like the kind of people who care that they're going to hell anymore. Something came to me one night too, I realized that telling Kao-kun that he was gonna go to hell wasn't helping. It was making it worse. Besides, now that I think about it, they don't really seem to be the types to go to hell. Then I thought about it and that was a big lie.

They love eachother. They're men. They're brothers. They're _twins._

But if they have to seperate their bond just to go to heaven, then I think heaven might be too nit picky. Maybe someday the two will get over eachother. It doesn't seem likely though. Still...

I feel kind of bad for telling Kao-kun he was going to hell. But I can just tell, I can see it in the way he looks at Hika-chan. He doesn't see him as a brother. There's something else I know, too...

**At home, they don't treat eachother as brothers.**


	14. Spazzing Out

**The Eleventh Day**

Everyone was staring at the twins. Kaoru didn't even noticed; he was barely even awake.

"Didn't you sleep last night?" Hikaru finally questioned.

Kaoru closed his eyes and almost nodded off just thinking about the word _sleep._ Kaoru shook his head slowly and thought about the nightmare he'd been cursed with the night before. He really shook his head as he thought about it again.

_I can still feel his hands around my neck. That sad and mournful look he gave me,_ Kaoru thought as he slowly looked at Hikaru. Hikaru wasn't looking at him, he was glaring at the people who looked at them oddly. Kaoru laughed at how protective his brother was; Hikaru hated people thinking odd of Kaoru. He hated people just for _thinking_ about his brother in the first place. _It must've been a dream. Look at him now. He's not sad in the least._

"What's this I hear?" Haruhi asked as she sat down next to Kaoru.

Hikaru scowled, "Haruhi? Why don't you and I switch seats and I switch with Kaoru?"

Haruhi and Kaoru shared a glance and nodded.

So that's what happened. Hikaru sat next to Kaoru, and Haruhi didn't. Hikaru liked that.

"So, what was it that you were wondering?" Hikaru remembered.

"Oh? I was wondering if you really carried Kaoru to school this morning," Haurhi remembered herself. "I don't know, it sounded weird."

Hikaru smirked and turned around and looked at Kaoru, who sure enough, was asleep. Hikaru leaned in closer to him and blew on his hair.

"Kaoru, we're at school. You could put it on my record, but the point is that you'll get in trouble for the time being," Hikaru whispered in Kaoru's ear.

Kaoru groaned and he shook lightly.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered as his eyelids began to raise. "What? What's going on?"

"You fell asleep again."

Kaoru whined and he put his head on his desk.

"I can't stay awake, Hikaru," Kaoru whimpered. "I just can't."

Kaoru frowned as he stared into Hikaru's eyes.

_Those eyes, that face, how do I know that in my dream it wasn't really me who was Hikaru and the other person was me? No, that couldn't be, they responded to Hikaru's name, and he called me Kaoru, _Kaoru tried to figure out what was going on. _Why does it hurt me whenever I look at him? Imagine his touch?_

Kaoru blushed and he remembered that there was more to last night than just a nightmare. _Oh no, that bath, how did it finish?_

"Hey, Hikaru, was I asleep when we were finishing the bath?" Kaoru whispered as quietly as possible.

Hikaru could barely heard the words, but he didn't need to. He knew what Kaoru was worrying about.

Hikaru laughed and nodded. Kaoru blushed and asked with his eyes, _What the hell did you to me?_

_Oh, nothing too bad. I just finished washing you._

_Where did you touch me?_

_Let's think, I had to dress you and pull you out of the bath tub and finish washing you, where do you think I touched you?_

_EVERYwhere._

_Righto._

Kaoru blushed and looked away. "I can't trust you now."

Hikaru laughed and smiled at his brother, his eyes glinting. Kaoru smiled, _just like he used to smile at me. Just like his eyes used to shine._ _Just like he was before Haruhi._

Kaoru frowned and didn't look back at his brother. Kaoru couldn't help but feeling betrayed.

Hikaru's hands suddenly felt around Kaoru's neck and Kaoru spazzed and fell out of his chair.

"What the-?" Hikaru scowled.

"Kaoru-kun? Is something wrong?" The teacher asked. "We begun class awhile ago."

Lex stared in amusement. What was wrong with these twins now?

Kaoru's heart pumped and he couldn't focus on what anyone was saying, but he could feel them staring, but that didn't matter. The hands, those adoring hands, had tried to strangle him. He swore they did.

"Kaoru-kun?" Some girls wondered, nervously. "You okay?"

"Hikaru! What did you do?" Haruhi snapped quietly to Hikaru.

"I don't know, I just my hand on his neck."

Kaoru felt so tired, so drawn out. So tormented.

This time a female wasn't the torturer.

It was Hikaru.

**

* * *

**_**Nurse's Office**_

Hikaru walked in at lunch time and sat by Kaoru's bed and stared at him.

"He hasn't woken up yet," The nurse replied as she walked out from her office. "But he's been moaning a lot."

"Nightmares?" Hikaru wondered.

"Maybe, but that kid is sick," The nurse explained cautiously. "What happened in the classroom?"

"I just... touched his neck and he freaked out," Hikaru replied truthfully.

"Have you ever tortured him by the use of his neck in the past?"

Hikaru thought about, sure he teased Kaoru a lot, but he never did anything wrong to Kaoru's neck. In fact, Kaoru seemed to enjoy it when Hikaru touched him anywhere a great deal. Did Kaoru like Hikaru as more than a brother? Hikaru liked Kaoru as a brother, maybe a bit more, but surely not as a lover! Right? Hikaru shook his head so he could back to the concept at hand. Kaoru did seem really jumpy in the tub though. He spazzed out when Hikaru first crawled into the tub, but then he began to relax again. Was something bothering Kaoru?

"No, he never cared before," Hikaru replied, mournfully.

The nurse sighed, "He needs to go home. Where are your parents?"

Hikaru's heart stopped and he stared at Kaoru's distorted and pained face. Kaoru didn't want his mom to leave, did Kaoru have a sense for when something bad was gonna happen? Hikaru responded coldly, "Germany."

The nurse frowned and shook her head. "You got a babysitter?"

"No."

"When's your lunch?" The nurse nagged, worridly.

"Now, but Kaoru's more important."

The nurse smiled sadly and walked away.

"Kaoru... what's wrong with you?" Hikaru sobbed.

**

* * *

**_**At Club**_

The Club was closed for the evening.

Kaoru sat in a corner, shaken.

"What did you do to him?" Tamaki complained.

"I don't really know," Hikaru replied, quietly.

Kaoru sighed and felt like crying and pulled his legs up to his chest and buried his face into his knees.

"I don't know."

"I don't know what came over me, Hikaru, I'm sorry," Kaoru answered, calmly and hurt.

"You were jumpy last night too, it all happened when you went into the bathroom. What happened, did the scorch on your feet make you sensitive?" Hikaru tried to snarl at Kaoru but couldn't.

Kaoru shook his head.

"Wait, what happened between you two last night?" Kyouya asked, curiously.

"Oh, Kaoru and I took a bath together," Hikaru responded. "Before that though, I don't know. I came and the carpet in the hall was all drenched with burning hot water. Kaoru's feet were scorched and the skin was peeling when I opened the door. Maybe he fell asleep or something, but he was really jumpy after that."

Kyouya nodded and Haruhi looked at him and frowned. Kyouya responded, "Look, I want to get this out of the way so that the club can go back into order, but we can't just deny Kaoru's health. It is in really bad shape."

Haruhi smiled, a little creeped out. Kyouya read her mind, she was wondering why Kyouya would care about something like this. Now that she thought about it, she thought there was something more to it. Haruhi knew that Kyouya was partly doing this because he cared about Kaoru himself. There was something in the gaze Kyouya had when he stared at Kaoru. Much like empathy or pity.

Kaoru shook his head and trembled, as he began to cry. His face was filled with the warm, welcoming tears that no one could see as he hid his head in his knees.

"Kaoru, really, what's wrong?" Tamaki asked, worried, as he walked over and sat next to Kaoru. He pulled Kaoru into an embrace and Kaoru sobbed.

"I don't know what it was."

Kaoru shook his head, "I just don't know."

_Those hands._

Kaoru sobbed and returned Tamaki's hug.

"I don't know!" Kaoru sobbed.

Lex stared at him and frowned. She knew that Kaoru _did_ know.

"Nightmare?" Lex wondered.

Kaoru stayed quiet and he raised his head and stared at the girl.

_Is she for real? How can she tell everything that's wrong with me before I even know it myself?_

Kaoru shook his head.

"You sure? This looks like a case of a haunting nightmare or something's wrong with you psychologically. My mommy talked to me about this stuff when I started to think that I had voices in my head," Lex continued.

Kaoru closed his eyes and put his head against Tamaki's chest. There was something about him that was like magic.

_Magic..._

Kaoru cried and nodded his head.

"It was scary," Kaoru whined. "I don't ever wanna sleep again."

Tamaki stood up and pulled Kaoru with him. Hikaru began to run after them but Kyouya and Haruhi held him back.

"Wha-?"

"Sempai only _acts_ like an idiot, remember?" Haruhi explained for her actions.

"Kaoru needs it," Kyouya replied.

Tamaki walked with Kaoru outside and through the Rose Maze.

"Let's see, you cheat on Hikaru with some transfer kid and then you freak out in class and you refuse to respond to anyone?" Tamaki recapped.

Kaoru sighed and shook his head. "I don't know what happened, I just know that there was Hikaru, and his hands. Nothing else rang to me. I didn't hear anything."

"Tell me the dream."

"We were in the bathroom, and Hikaru tried to strangle me," Kaoru responded. "And then we died in the tub, that's just a light overview, really."

Tamaki nodded.

"Why did you spazz out?" Tamaki asked.

"He touched my neck..." Kaoru remembered.

_Those hands crawling so slowly around my throat, just waiting to squeeze the life out of me, _Kaoru thought morbidly.

"Kaoru?"

"Yes, dad?" Kaoru asked.

"If anything goes wrong, come and talk to me, I don't want you two to get hurt. Especially Hikaru. I see things Kaoru," Tamaki replied. He turned and looked at Kaoru mournfully and finally finished his statement. "I know that you're the violent twin underneath it all."

Kaoru smiled and walked over to Tamaki and hugged him and sobbed.

"Hikaru will never hurt me, right?"

"Why... why would anyone hurt, such a special boy?" Tamaki whispered as he hugged Kaoru tightly.

"I'm not special," Kaoru whined.

"Yes you are, and no one, _no one,_" Tamaki explained finally. "No one...

"Would hurt my son."

**

* * *

**

**Kyouya's POV**

Kaoru and Tamaki are talking again. I know they never thought I noticed it before, but I did. Those two talk a hell of a lot, and I think Kaoru's more expressive with Tamaki than he is with Hikaru. Tamaki's more expressive with Kaoru too. They show their true colors around eachother.

This... will be a complication for Hikaru and Haruhi. It will be for me even too. Only...

**...I'm still the mom, so it's all okay.**

**

* * *

**

**Haruhi's POV**

Kaoru had nightmares apparently. That was what Lex-chan was telling me. She's really good at analizing people, she has a special sense that got passed down in both sides of her family. She can tell what goes on with Hikaru and Kaoru, so I look to her when we get home and dad's not back yet. It's kind of scary, Lex-chan analizes them all day long and thing she comes with me to my house and tells me about it.

I wonder when her mom's gonna come back. She probably won't be needing babysitting then, because Lex-chan will take care of her mom and have a supervisor. I'll kind of miss her.

Lex-chan's dad left her when she was little, telling her that Lex-chan was the devil. I think that's why she didn't care when Kaoru was yelling at her. She was probably used to it. She told me that she gets it a lot because she can know what's going on with people. She wanted to help someone for once, so she tried to save Hikaru and Kaoru. I don't think that it worked too well.

I wonder though, when Lex-chan goes...

**...will Kaoru get better? Or worse?**


	15. Why Do I Feel This Way?

**Note: I just thought I'd have some fun. I haven't finished school yet so I don't know if you ever talk about sex openly or if just what the hell the textbook says. I got the strongest feelings this would NEVER happen though. Hehe. Enjoy my fantasies **

**The Twelfth Day**_** Health Class**_

Everyone waited anxiously for this day. This was the day that the second years came in to talk to the first years... about sex. The teachers left the room and listened every once in a while to make sure no one was doing anything visual or going off topic. The whole point of the teachers leaving was so that the students could talk about sex freely, as they saw it, their views. It was the second years jobs to make sure that no one got too off topic or into it, so they were responsible children chosen. Most second years came back because they loved how awesome it was. Haruhi had no idea about this, so she was shocked when she heard about it.

The class was spread out for two hours, instead of the normal one it usually would be. Hikaru and Kaoru doubted it would take that short of a time, they thought they'd get out about lunch. That made Haruhi feel kind of sick. What exactly did they _talk_ about? How to _have_ sex?

"The other classes will have to wait until next week to get their talk, one will get it tonight, and then the others will get it next week," Kaoru guessed.

Hikaru nodded. "Probably."

A questionarre was sent out for the students to answer.

_

* * *

__Male_

_Sexual Preference: __N/A_

_Are you a virgin: __No_

_If No, when did you lose your virginity: __2nd grade_

_Are you excited: __Not really, it doesn't matter to me_

_Have you ever had the talk: __Yeah, it didn't tell me much_

_Are you curious about sex: __Not really_

_Do you think homosexuality is wrong: __No, I don't. I find it offensive when people get mad at someone because they are_

_Do you take sex seriously: __During, but not talking about it_

* * *

Kaoru laughed at his sheet and peeked over at his brothers._

* * *

__Male_

_Sexual Preference: __Female_

_Are you a virgin: __No_

_If No, then when did you lose your virginity: __2nd grade_

_Are you excited: __Kind of_

_Have you ever had the talk: __Yup, boring as hell_

_Are you curious about sex: __You're kidding right? You really have to ask a teenage male that?_

_Do you think homosexuality is wrong: __Yes_

_Do you take sex seriously: __I guess so_

* * *

Kaoru frowned and when Hikaru went to look at Kaoru, he quickly turned away and pretended to be interested in someone's paper across the room.

He frowned again when he realized he wanted to see Haruhi's paper. Why? He... didn't really know.

_

* * *

__Female_

_Sexual Preference: __N/A_

_Are you a virgin: __Yes_

_If No, then when did you lose your virginity: __N/A_

_Are you excited: __Nope_

_Have you ever had the talk: __Nope_

_Are you curious about sex: __Nope_

_Do you think homosexuality is wrong: __Nope_

_Do you take sex seriously: __Umm, sure, why not_

* * *

Kaoru laughed quietly and whispered to Hikaru, "Did you see her paper? It's filled with 'nope's."

Hikaru laughed as well and the teacher came over and scowled at them. She glared at both of them and how easily they sat there, not even caring that the teacher was about to kill them. She scowled, "Keep quiet you twins, or I'll check your paper."

They shut up.

_Hikaru, do you think it's gonna matter that we're not virgins? She'll notice that our handwriting is identical and she'll piece together that we're the twins._

_Oh, you worry too much Kaoru._

Kaoru didn't think Hikaru saw his next thought. But Hikaru did.

_Or do you not worry enough?_

Hikaru leaned over and licked Kaoru's neck. Kaoru bristled but didn't do anything. No spazzing out. No nurse. Kaoru had made an improvement.

Finally, the teacher announced, "I have collected all of your sheets, I will be leaving now and the second years have arrived. Come in students."

As the second years came in, the teacher left and locked the door with her key from the outside, so they were locked in there. At the teacher's mercy. The teacher that despised Hikaru and Kaoru with all of her guys. Who knew if she had hidden cameras.

Kaoru felt unsure and he grabbed Hikaru's hand.

"What's wrong Kaoru?" Hikaru worried.

"N-nothing," Kaoru whispered.

The three Club members noticed a familiar face, Nekozawa Umehito. What was he doing there? There was Tamaki, and Mori, and even Hunny. Kyouya also walked in and sighed. He looked at the three like, _these idiots made me come, I didn't want to._ Haruhi frowned, she thought this was supposed to be second years, not including some third years.

Tamaki shrugged and explained, "The administrators didn't get enough Second Years to volunteer, and plenty of Third Years wanted to, so it's a mix. All of us had this talk last year though, so don't worry too much about it."

Haruhi sighed, "Just like Tamaki-sempai."

Kaoru squeezed Hikaru's hand.

"Now everyone, I want you to find a person of the opposite sex and when everyone has one, we'll continue. Don't worry, you don't have to like the person," Kyouya instructed.

Everyone went and found someone, but Kaoru didn't move, Hikaru tried to, but Kaoru wouldn't let go.

"D-dad will understand, won't he?" Kaoru whispered.

"I don't think so," Hikaru scowled. "Come on Kaoru."

Kaoru wouldn't let go of Hikaru's hand.

"Nooo," Kaoru whined. "I dun wanna."

Hikaru cussed under his breath and they walked over to Tamaki.

"Milord, Kaoru won't let go of my hand," Hikaru snarled.

Tamaki sighed and shook his head, "Kaoru..."

"I think it's fine," Haruhi replied. She was grouped with Tamaki... which figures... "There's no one left anyway, they all grouped up."

Tamaki shook his head and finally said it was okay.

Hikaru was upset with this turn of events, but Kaoru was glad for this. _It's not really that I want to do this activity with Hikaru, more or less that I don't want him hanging around those girls. Bleh, they're so nasty._

"You're gonna pay for this," Hikaru scowled.

Kaoru smiled. "Good."

Hikaru blushed and looked away. Of course, the room was very dim, so it was hard for anyone to see anything. No, this wasn't for sexual feelings to be brought out, it was because Nekozawa couldn't stand being in the light and the teachers and kids knew that so they were respecting him.

"Any questions so far?" Hunny spoke up.

When no one replied, Nekozawa stared at his Beelzenef and started playing around with it. Mori stared at him but didn't say anything.

Kaoru stifled a laugh. _Playing with his puppet during this? Poor person who was partnered with him._

Only, in actuality, lots of people were... fawning over Nekozawa? Despite his dark appearances, Nekozawa had blonde hair and couldn't be in bright lights, he also wore a black wig to help protect him even further. It was baffling to Kaoru though, that Nekozawa was being fawned over by the females. Of course, the whole Host Club was in the room too, so that might have raised some hormones. Who knows, maybe if Nekozawa didn't wear his cloak all the time, he could've made a good addition to the Host Club himself. Only, Nekozawa was in his Senior year as well, so there was no point in that.

"Now, I want you think about if you have any feelings for the person you're with," Tamaki replied.

Kaoru caught a whole bunch of people looking at eachother and sticking out their tongues, but quite a few actually liked who they were with. Chris was with his girlfriend. Tamaki definetly was happy with Haruhi. Kyouya didn't care who he was with, but he pretended to like it. Seeing everyone act out how they felt to eachother, Kaoru felt kind of bad. This seemed like something that Lex-chan would lecture the twins about in club. But Lex-chan wasn't there, she was removed from the classroom because of the topic.

"Tell me, did anyone feel a sexual zing?"

Kaoru blushed and looked lightly at Hikaru. Even in the darkness, the fangirls caught the look of adoration.

"Eehhh!" They all squealed, and no one else in the room could figure out what they were squealing about. Kaoru had an idea, but he didn't even want to think that someone saw that little peek, that little gaze, his little glance that he'd given so often and Hikaru'd never noticed.

Kaoru felt downtrodded as he realized how little his twin actually knew about him. Kaoru squeezed Hikaru's hand, but Hikaru didn't move.

_He's embarrassed, he's mad at me. He wanted a female partner. I saw his sheet of paper._

Kaoru sighed and shook his head.

"Okay, first, discuss sex with your partner, don't feel ashamed."

Kaoru turned to Hikaru when Hikaru had started to turn.

Kaoru felt like that grip was around his neck. That death threatening choke. Hikaru's gaze burning into him, but this was why Kaoru chose Hikaru. He knew Hikaru would be mad, but Kaoru knew that the gaze would keep him in line. It was also keep him from those women.

"You're dead," Hikaru snarled.

Kaoru smiled.

Kaoru sighed and replied, "Do we really have to go over sex again?"

"Mmm, to you it's just in and out," Hikaru growled through clenched teeth as he leaned forward so no one heard him.

"Shut up."

"But it's true, and it's kind of annoying."

_Is he bored of me?_

"Shut up," Kaoru snarled back. This was why Kaoru chose Hikaru. He loved the feel of Hikaru picking on him. He hated the sound of voice they both used.

But when Kaoru hated Hikaru, his love sparked to a whole new level.

"It's true though, Kaoru, it's just the simple dynamics to you, no pleasure in it what-so-ever," Hikaru spat quietly.

"Says you," Kaoru scowled.

"It's true, I'm your twin, I'd know that."

Kaoru wanted to slap Hikaru so badly. That was his excuse for EVERYTHING. _"I'm your twin."_

Kaoru wished Hikaru wasn't his twin.

Maybe then Hikaru would actually love him back.

Because knew he didn't. They both knew it.

Yet Hikaru still denied it.

Kaoru felt sick, and he wanted to get out of that room. "Shut up."

"Is everyone done?" Tamaki asked again.

"I should've partnered with Chris, he's not as mean as you," Kaoru whispered.

"You DARE touch that kid and I'll rip his head off," Hikaru seethed.

"Watch me."

It made Kaoru kind of happy, to see Hikaru act angry over him. To have Hikaru care about him. Kaoru loved that rush of anger, that ferocity the twins exchanged. Sometimes though, it made him want to cry. Most of the time it did make him want to cry. He loved it when he cried. Sure, it hurt, but Hikaru always comforted him.

Or, he used to.

"Now, what did you two discuss?" Kyouya's voice boomed over everyones.

Everyone raised their hand and described what they talked about.

"Let's bring religion into this, how does sex fit into religion?" Tamaki and Kyouya asked at the same time.

Haruhi raised her hand. Everyone gasped. They were already surprised enough when Haruhi grouped with Tamaki, for she _"...wasn't a female."_

"Some religions believe that sex is what links the man and the woman of a relationship together. It's another way of saying I love you and that you'll never leave them," Haruhi replied and smiled, then she whispered, "Lex-chan taught me that."

"Now, let's look at homosexual couples," All the fangirls squealed. "We'll use the Hitachiins for an example since they didn't choose a female partner."

"No you won't," The twins argued.

"Oh yes. Yes I will," Tamaki urged. "Now, why is homosexuality bad?"

"You don't have children," Someone replied.

"You go to hell."

"It's against God's will."

"Because it's just not right and it won't work out."

"The people you fall in love with don't love you back."

"It hurts you mentally."

Hearing everyone's views hurt Kaoru right down to his core. It hurt even more when he saw Tamaki nod at every one he heard. Didn't he understand how Kaoru was feeling? What happened to _"..no one would dare hurt my son..."?_

Kaoru wanted to go and yell at him, _"How could you be so insensitive? I trust you and this is what you do? This is why I hate outsiders!"_

But no matter how hard Kaoru tried, he just couldn't do it.

He couldn't hate Tamaki.

"Now, what would make it worse in the twins' case?" Kyouya asked.

"They're twins for one, they're not supposed to like eachother like that," Someone scowled.

Someone laughed and said, "Because it's just stupid, it's like falling in love with yourself."

"It's completely idiotic, to love someone who looks like you."

"It'll haunt you for the rest of your life even when you look in the mirror. Knowing someone shares your face and you had sex with them."

Kaoru wanted to cry out. Because mostly, it was true. Kaoru did feel that way when he looked in the mirror, but he wasn't about to tell Hikaru that. Kaoru wasn't about to tell Hikaru _how_ he loved him.

Tamaki noticed this and tried to silence everyone.

"What is the positives of a homosexual relationship?"

No one answered.

"Well, let's think about it," Tamaki explained. "Our world faces overpopulation right now, homosexuality doesn't increase population yet fufills your sex needs. Is there really any actual reason why you should hate or despise a homosexual person?"

No one had an answer. Because Tamaki was right. Homosexuality was okay in that way.

"But God made Adam and Eve," Another shouted out.

"True, but didn't God also make a man love another?" Tamaki was on a roll. Kaoru smiled, he knew why Tamaki was on a role. Because he saw Kaoru was feeling bad.

_I guess... I judged outsiders too quickly. Sometimes I wonder if Tamaki was ever an outsider in the first place. Maybe, Tamaki has a key for everyone's world, and he just knows how to weild it right. I wouldn't be surprised._

Kaoru leaned against Hikaru and began closing his eyes.

"I'm so tired," Kaoru whispered.

"No, we're not done yet."

The bell rang. Everyone looked around startled.

"We have the next hour too," Tamaki reassured.

The teacher walked into the room.

"We decided that we'd continue this Monday, every class now has their hour to do as much as possible, then continue on Monday. Now hurry to class, if you're late say you're from Health class, they'll call me," The teacher directed.

Kaoru left with Hikaru, hand in hand. They didn't go back to class. They went to the nurse.

"What's wrong?" The nurse asked as they came in.

"I don't know," Hikaru replied and the nurse was about to yell at him when he added, "Kaoru's sick."

"How so?"

"He won't respond."

The nurse bent infront of Kaoru and shone the light in his eyes. Kaoru didn't even twitch.

_I'm scared,_ Kaoru thought and he began to cry. _If my thesis on outsiders was wrong..._

_Then how strong is my thesis on love?_

**

* * *

**

**Tamaki's POV**

I must admit, I was _really_ scared today. I had to work with _NEKOZAWA!_ How scary is that? He's gonna curse me any moment, I just know it. I know he's gonna curse me.

But... I don't think even Nekozawa would be that mean. I think he saw it. I saw him stare at me, even if just for a moment. I don't how many other people saw through me, but I was standing up for the twins during the speech. What was I supposed to? Let Kaoru fall even farther into despair? I couldn't do that.

He's my son.

I don't really like him hanging around Hikaru much though, I will admit that. It scares me, that one day Kaoru's gonna snap, let all his feelings go at once. He was explaining it to me. Once the two hit puberty, Kaoru limited everything he told Hikaru. I do remember a couple things Kaoru told me when we first started to get to know eachother. Hikaru's able to mimick Kaoru's voice perfectly, I remember Kaoru telling me about that. I asked him if he could mimick Hikaru's voice. He did it for me.

Kaoru mimicked Hikaru for me.

But he told me he'd never do it for anyone else.

Because he hated the way it sounded. He told me that! He said he _HATED_ the way that Hikaru's voice sounded. He didn't even apologize for it. He just said it right out there, _"I don't like mimick Hikaru's voice though. I hate the way it sounds. How it's so deep. It makes me sick."_ He told me something a few days later when I brought it back up to him. _"Hikaru does it much better. And copying his voice, it's depressing. It just reminds me that we're that close, so close. Yet the words I speak aren't Hikaru's, they're mine. It's not the same. Hikaru has a melody to it. I love the way he talks."_

That's the first time he cried to me. Because Hikaru had a crush. I'm guessing it was that really pretty girl who was a senior. She left last year, but Hikaru really must've had it for her. That's when I realized that I couldn't turn Kaoru away. I cared about him.

I'm his father though, I'm supposed to care about him. I don't want him to cry, I hate it when he's sad. I just want to make everything better for him. I never want him to get hurt by love, so I try to keep him out of it. I try to make it so that the twins don't kiss, because they're not ready for it. My son can't go off and fall in love yet. Daddy's not ready to let him go.

Only, if what they all tell me is true, that I'm not they're father...

**Then why do I feel that way?**


	16. As Long As He Needs Me

**The Thirteenth Day**_** Hitachiin Household**_

"Aii, Kaoru!" Hikaru called.

Kaoru snarled and walked into the bathroom. "What?"

Hikaru shut the door.

"We're taking another bath, you taste nasty again," Hikaru scowled.

Kaoru laughed and automatically began undressing. Hikaru smiled. He loved how Kaoru went so easily with his words.

The two sat in the tub together, Kaoru embarassingly flustered and Hikaru waiting for Kaoru to notice the way he was touching Kaoru's leg. It annoyed him greatly, Kaoru didn't spazz, Kaoru didn't say anything.

Hikaru began standing up which make Kaoru turn around, Hikaru sat back down and they sat face to face to face.

"Why... did you stand up?" Kaoru asked annoyed.

"To get you to look at me."

"Wha-? What are you suggesting?" Kaoru stammered.

"You hate it when I leave without telling you. What else would I mean?"

Kaoru blushed and refused to look Hikaru in the eye.

"Nothing..."

Hikaru pulled Kaoru close to him quickly and kissed him. Kaoru's face was burning, he was definetly sick. Whatever it was, Hikaru _wanted_ it.

"What was that for?" Kaoru snapped as Hikaru stopped.

"Practicing my kissing. Did you like that style? Or-" Hikaru teased as he pulled Kaoru back into another kiss and pushed down on Kaoru's back. Kaoru trembled and tried to get away.

"In the tub?" Kaoru asked disgusted as he pulled away. "How much worse can you get?"

It bugged Kaoru. Severely. _It's all a game to him. He doesn't see me the way I see him._

"Kaoru, come on," Hikaru whined.

Kaoru couldn't stand it. It was all a game to Hikaru. Their love was a game. It was just to satisfy him, until he got a real girlfriend. _I'm a damn substitute!_

Kaoru got pissed and was about to climb out when Hikaru pulled him back and he sat up and faced Kaoru.

"No, seriously, what kiss is more comfortable to you?" Hikaru asked, seriously.

He stared into his big brother's eyes, and he got even more pissed. Just by the look of love. _It's all a gag. My whole LIFE is a gag!_ Kaoru thought and he got angry and put Hikaru's hand in his face. "The kiss where you kiss yourself!"

Kaoru stood up and began drying off.

"Kiss yourself, maybe you'll learn. It's not much different than kissing me, I mean, we're exactly the same!" Kaoru scowled angrily. He stopped as he felt a force around his stomach, and he felt sick, like all his blood was pounding through his head. He couldn't even think.

Kaoru'd forgotten about his dreams. Now they flooded at him full force.

"Let me go!" Kaoru screamed as he struggled.

"Kaoru! Settle!" Hikaru spat.

Kaoru decided to listen and stopped.

"Let me explain, I feel really bad about yesterday. I wasn't a very good brother, and I shouldn't have threatened Chris-kun like that. It was no where in my position to get mad at him just because you like him," Hikaru sighed.

"I like him?" Kaoru asked in amazement. "Since when? He likes _me!"_

"Then who is that you like?" Hikaru wondered, a tone of shock in his voice.

"You're an idiot," Kaoru snapped. "Let me go."

"No."

Hikaru put his lips on Kaoru's neck and began to kiss him lightly up and down his neck.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru snarled. "Stop it!"

But Kaoru wasn't struggling.

"We have to go with Chris to the amusement park today," Hikaru reminded Kaoru.

Kaoru didn't respond, he held his hand on Hikaru's that was wrapped around him.

"Kaoru?"

"You're ruining the moment, Hikaru."

Hikaru shut up and licked Kaoru's neck, making Kaoru shiver.

_I'm just a substitute._

Kaoru closed his eyes.

"The amusement park, you remember that don't you? Our first real date?"

Kaoru smiled and shook his head. He turned around and held Hikaru's face in his hands, tears in his eyes.

"K-kaoru? Are you crying?"

Kaoru kissed Hikaru and wrapped his arms around his body, totally ignoring the fact that they had literally no clothes on.

_I'm just a substitute. A measly substitute._

"We're just brothers," Hikaru reminded Kaoru. "This is to practice our kissing for the play."

Kaoru smiled. _I'll never stop being a substitute, but I guess it means something that he chose me to be his._

"I know," Kaoru replied, crying. "I know."

Kaoru kissed Hikaru deeply again.

"We won't make it to the park," Hikaru noted.

"I don't care."

_I'll be the best damn substitute I can be. As long as he needs me. As long as he needs __**me.**_

* * *

**Hikaru's POV**

Kaoru's been acting really weird lately. He cries more again, and he pretends I'm not looking. I dunno, should I tell him I see him? Would he get mad at me?

I'm surprised Lex isn't chew us out. She's a mind reader, right? Can't she tell what Kaoru and I are doing behind the scenes? When we're at _home?_ Oh man, she'd have a million things to bug us on if she saw us at home.

Kaoru stares out the window a lot. He doesn't talk to me. Mentally or verbally. I'm lonely.

Should I tell him? Or just sit here and bear it?

I want to tell him, I want to cry it all out. I'm the older brother though. It'd be stupid if I tried to even talk to Kaoru like that. He's the younger, he's supposed to cry to me. But when he kisses me like that, I just can't control myself. I don't know how my emotions are gonna swing.

But he's my **brother.** That's all I can ever let him be. He'll never be anything more. Kaoru doesn't like me that way.

**Oh God, I wish he did.**


	17. Horror Is Enough For Me

**Note: Sorry about who wrote it on this chapter! I just LOVE LOVE LOVE him SSSSOOOOO MUCH! ((Psh, don't look ahead, just warning))**

**The Fourteenth Day**

Hikaru groaned as he rolled over in his bed.

"This isn't FAIR!" Hikaru snarled as he stared against the bed frame. "This isn't fair!"

Well, it turned out... Kaoru had the flu. The _stomach_ flu. The _24 hour _flu. You know what these means?

Kaoru was healthy and at the amusement park with someone, and Hikaru was left alone. In his bed. Throwing his guts up.

"This isn't fair!"

Hikaru didn't even know who Kaoru was with.

"Probably that damn Chris."

**

* * *

**_**With Kaoru**_

"Hey, where's Hikaru?" That familiar, annoying voice asked.

Kaoru sighed, "Hikaru got the flu."

"I thought _you_ were sick with the flu?" He asked, smiling brightly.

Kaoru laughed and replied, "About that."

He laughed and walked closer to Kaoru and slapped him on the shoulder. "Wish you would've told me that, I would've told Chris-kun that it was okay for him to come! I didn't tell him it would be okay because I didn't want my children going to jail for something like that!"

Kaoru smiled. "Thanks, dad. But I don't think I want to see Chris this weekend."

Tamaki blinked. "Huh?"

Kaoru laughed and grabbed Tamaki's hand and pulled him off.

"What do you wanna do first?"

Tamaki blinked again. What was going on? Wasn't Kaoru sick yesterday?

"Well?" Kaoru bugged as he stopped running and turned to Tamaki. "What do you wanna do first?"

Tamaki suddenly smiled brightly and began running, pulling Kaoru this time.

They arrived... at a gift shop.

"What... what the hell?" Kaoru sighed.

"It's fun! Really, they got all these unique things here!" Tamaki explained as he pointed to different objects.

Tamaki bought a little handheld game.

"I thought you said you don't like video games?" Kaoru nagged.

Tamaki turned to him and laughed, "I don't, but doesn't Hikaru?"

Kaoru smiled. _Good ol' dad._

Kaoru suddenly frowned and thought of his real father. His _birth_ father who was never there. _Good. Old. Dad... no, good new dad._

The two ran off and went through some fun weird "madhouses" and Kaoru laughed as Tamaki freaked out at certain things inside. Later, Kaoru asked Tamaki why the place had scared him so much.

"I thought I saw Nekozawa in there!"

That made Kaoru burst out laughing.

"I bet... he was."

Tamaki smiled and laughed and patted Kaoru on the shoulder.

"Let's... go see a movie."

Kaoru froze.

"What... kind of movie?" Kaoru stumbled.

"Something we'd never watch."

Kaoru listed the kinds he usually went to. Often, he went and saw a chick flick if they went with some girls from school. Kaoru enjoyed those, but he'd never admit it to Hikaru. Not in a million years. Tamaki agreed, that he usually went to movies with girls from school, and he watched chick flicks too. They finally agreed on something. Something they'd _NEVER_ watch.

"This... looks really bad," Kaoru stuttered as they sat in the row in the movie theater. It was filled halfway.

"I'm scared too," Tamaki sighed.

The two gulped and whispered to eachother, "I've never seen a horror movie."

So, they sat together, and the shrieks and scares of the other person made it bareable.

_

* * *

_

_"No! Please!" The women screamed as she crouched low under a table hidden in a room. "Please God... don't let him find me."_

_Footsteps came closer, and closer. The women held her breath, whispering the same things over and over again. Then everything went quiet. So, the women began to crawl out, but when she crawled out from under the table her face met a screaming chainsaw._

_That was the end of that person._

_The scene switched to a couple, who were patiently waiting for their friend in the courtyard. They didn't know that their friend had been murdered seconds ago at the same time that they were making out. The man was the murdered women's boyfriend._

_"Do you think she'll care?" The women wondered scared._

_The man smiled and kissed her neck._

_She pushed him away. "Stop it! What's wrong with you? I don't want to lose my best friend!"_

_The man scowled._

_"Shut up, you're annoying me," The man snapped. "You're so annoying."_

_The woman screamed and pushed him away. The man finally gave up and ran away. The woman cried as she sat on a rock. Then she heard a squishing sound._

_She gasped and looked up._

_"Hehe..." A masked man laughed as he threw the corpse of the dead man on the ground._

_The women finally realized what had happened. She ran off and ran as far as she could._

_Finally, the woman came to the ocean that the tiny island was surrounded by. She looked behind herself and laughed as she realized she'd gotten away. She turned away to see the face of the masked man, laughing at her. He had a long black cloak on himself as he pulled up a knife and stuck it to the woman's throat._

_"Bye bye," He said childishly._

_Then he did it. He cut her head off._

_"And that just shows you, not everything, has a happy ending," A voice replied._

* * *

Kaoru's hand was clung to Tamaki's shoulder, and vice versa. 

"A... aa..." the two shuddered.

"Let's go!" The two shrieked as the ending music came up. The two dashed out and hung over outside, breathing heavily.

"That man... reminded me... of Nekozawa!" Tamaki gasped.

Everyone walked by and stared at them.

"Tamaki?" Came that eeirie voice.

Tamaki screamed, "NEKOZAWA!"

Nekozawa laughed and shoved Beelzenef in Tamaki's face.

"AHH!" Kaoru screamed.

Nekozawa blinked.

"You're the sqeaumish type, Kaoru-kun?" Nekozawa asked curiously.

Kaoru blushed and shook his head.

"No! What gave you that idea? Wait, how did you know I was Kaoru?" Kaoru quickly replied.

"Easy, Hikaru-kun doesn't freak out, he loves horror movies," Nekozawa replied. "You knew that, right? He comes to ask us what's the best horror movie for the week."

Kaoru blushed, how could he not know this about Hikaru?

_Disconnected._

The word rung through Kaoru's mind. Everything went black and blurry, and the next thing Kaoru felt was the concrete and then the fabric of Nekozawa's puppet and the feel of cold hands and Tamaki's warm ones.

"Kaoru!" The words finally came into sentence.

Kaoru began to gain colored vision again, but it was still all blurry. Then it turned all black again.

"Ka-" The voices faded out.

Kaoru couldn't hear anything, he couldn't see anything. All he heard was the word ringing through his head.

_Disconnected._

_Disconnected._

_We're disconnected._

_**Disconnected.**_

**

* * *

**

Nekozawa's POV

Well, things have been actually going pretty good. In school, I have to work with the Host Club for the First Year's sex education. I work with Tamaki, and I've noticed Kaoru-kun is acting pretty weird.

I think that Kaoru-kun would actually make a really nice addition to the Black Magic Club. He'd really fit in pretty well, but I don't think the Host Club will let him go. Especially not Hikaru-kun. Hikaru-kun is okay with coming to us, but he always makes sure we never tell Kaoru-kun what he's up to. Only, Hikaru-kun wouldn't make a very good addition to the Black Magic Club. It's kind of confusing, but I sense more... _energy_ in Kaoru. Maybe he'd get over his fear of horror movies too.

About that, I ran into him at the movie theater. Our Club was on our weekly trip to the movie theater to watch horror movies when I noticed Kaoru-kun and Tamaki farther up, they looked pretty pathetic. Kaoru-kun seemed more worried though. He has potential.

I noticed it, Kaoru-kun seems to have experience with horror. _That_ is why he is so _scared_ when he watches the actual thing. I saw it in his eyes. It was fear of exposure. Not from never seeing anything like that, but from being exposed to horror. I just have to wonder, what has Kaoru-kun done that caused that horror? That fear.

There was something in his eyes. I can't explain it. I know that kind of fear though. We studied fear. There's the dumb fear and there's the intellegent fear. Then there's... psychotic fear? I can't remember what the other one was called. I know what it is though, and that was what it was. That's what was in Kaoru-kun's eyes. He's seen that kind of fear and horror before, just not in a movie.

Why wasn't Hikaru-kun with him?

**What created that fear?**


	18. Finally, Kaoru Starts To Come Clean

**Note: This is messed up because my computer bugged and shut off and I GOT NOTHING to save. So I'm really mad, trying not to swear.**

**The Fifteenth Day**

Kaoru was staring out the window. He wasn't feeling good, so he refused to do the Hitachiin act. So the whole club closed down for the day.

"You two cost me a lot of money!" Kyouya snapped. "I also need more photos of you two for the magazines."

Kaoru blinked. Hikaru walked over and patted Kaoru on the shoulder, making him cringe. The night before, Kaoru had fallen onto the ground and he got huge scrapes along his forehead. It wasn't very hard to keep those concealed from Hikaru. He was doing a good job on it.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, Kaoru wasn't home yesterday. Now I'm wondering where he was, and who he was with. All I know is he got home after midnight."

Tamaki stifled a laugh as he thought about it. Kaoru had blurred out and Tamaki and Nekozawa carried Kaoru off to the hospital, not sure if Kaoru had a concussion or not because Kaoru's head was bleeding so badly. It turns out it wasn't anything really. While the two were sitting in the waiting room, and they were, of course, waiting, Nekozawa brought up an idea. The idea was that Kaoru was traumatized by something they said. The trauma of the connotation caused Kaoru to blank out. So it was something psychological, not some deep dark tumor in Kaoru's brain that was caused by the splitting of the twins. ((Thanks to Tamaki's crazy outbursts))

"Who were you with? Did they touch you?" Hikaru snarled.

Tamaki had to laugh at that one.

"That's a laugh," Tamaki chuckled.

Kaoru gave Tamaki a quick angry, and vengeful glare.

Tamaki and Nekozawa had promised that they wouldn't tell anyone what happened the night before for Kaoru's purposes. Kaoru highly appreciated that, but now he was starting to wonder if Tamaki could live up to it.

"I gotta go somewhere," Kaoru finally sighed.

"Where?" Hikaru asked.

"Somewhere you can't go," Kaoru answered.

Kaoru stood up and walked out. Hikaru tried to follow but Tamaki and Kyouya used one of their arms and linked it with one of Hikaru's arms. When Hikaru struggled and tried to escape them, they shook their heads.

He stalked the hallways and shivered. He'd never been out in the halls alone. During club hours the hallways were awfully quiet, since everyone was doing something. It scared Kaoru, he'd never been in silence his whole life. But he'd been in a lot for the past week.

Finally, he came upon the darkest room in the whole entire school. Kaoru began to open it when he remembered his manners and he backed away and knocked.

"Yes?" An eeirie voice finally came.

Kaoru gulped, "My name's... Kaoru."

"Hitachiin Kaoru?" The voice asked.

"Yes..." Kaoru replied shakily, his throat clotting.

The door opened and a dark figure in a long, draping black cloak stood in the doorway, staring at Kaoru. He pointed inwards towards the candlelit room and Kaoru tried to swallow the clot in his throat and then he began to walk into the room.

The room was dimly lit, if you could you even call that "lit" at all. There was only a few candles in the room, and they glowed with an odd colored aura. Kaoru thought about asking about it, but his throat hurt and his head was pulsing from the lack of blood. He bled a lot the previous night from a deep gash on his left temple. He finally arrived to their leader and he bent down on one knee and gulped and began what he was taught.

"Oh, Nekozawa-sama of the Black Magic Club, may I have permission to speak?" Kaoru performed.

"Yes, Hitachiin Kaoru, you may," Nekozawa replied quietly. "What business do you have with our Club during our Mass?"

"Oi, you don't really have Mass right now..." Kaoru started to raise his head a little higher but then he hid it as he put his down far. _Shut up Kaoru, stay quiet and you'll survive this. Talking will only make them hate you._

"Excuse me?" Nekozawa asked, his voice much louder now.

Kaoru winced. "Please, forgive me almighty Nekozawa-sama."

"You are forgiven, what is it that you wish to ask me of?" Nekozawa asked at a more calmer voice.

"Well, you see, I came to try to escape the evils of this... world?" Kaoru answered, confused. He looked up slightly for guidance and he saw Beelzenef wave his hand slightly which was a sign that it was okay. Kaoru didn't do bad this time. He could continue. He wouldn't be rejected at this rate. Rejection? Was bad. Acception? Was good. Kaoru cleared his throat and he blanked.

"Isn't that Hikaru-kun's brother?" Someone whispered.

Kaoru tried to form words with his mouth, but his voice box wouldn't work.

"What?"

Kaoru tried to respond. "I-I... I..."

"Darkness is a sin," That little girl's voice cut into the conversation as the light flipped on.

The students screamed and they dashed under the tables and desks that were shoved off to the sides of the rooms. The candles still blazed brightly on the desks, their flames swaying as they were shaken by the winds of people running this way and that. Nekozawa pulled up his hood and covered his skin as best as possible.

"It's bad."

"LEX!" Kaoru snapped at her as he stood up.

"The light!" Nekozawa hissed.

Kaoru scooped Lex up as he left and turned the lights off, shut the door, and set Lex down outside.

He gripped her chin with one hand and pulled it up to his face as he knelt on the floor.

"What is wrong with you?" Kaoru snarled.

"Darkness is a sin," Lex replied.

Lex's eyes wandered away from Kaoru's hateful gaze.

"Look at me," Kaoru hissed.

She didn't look back.

"LOOK AT ME!" Kaoru snarled. "Look at me you little witch!"

Kaoru didn't even hear the squeak of a door behind him.

Lex began to cry and she turned her attention back to Kaoru. They didn't hear the footsteps either.

"I'm sorry."

"Some people have conditions! You don't just walk into a room and turn the light on when you don't know who's in there!" Kaoru scolded.

"Why not?" Lex sobbed.

"YOU JUST DON'T!" Kaoru yelled. "Don't you get it? You don't just bug people! How did you get here anyway?"

Lex blinked away her tears and responded, "While everyone was taking care of Hika-kun I sneaked off and followed you here. Haruhi wasn't looking."

Kaoru squinted at her.

"Are you for real?"

Lex cried a bit and nodded, "I-I think so."

Kaoru squeezed a bit tighter on her face.

"I didn't want you getting into anymore trouble than you already were, so I came to try to stop you. They do bad things in there. Their religion is not right," Lex explained, starting to regain herself. "I had to show them that it wasn't right. It didn't matter who was in there."

_What the hell? She's just like Haruhi! She spends too much time with her,_ Kaoru thought.

"So what? You come in there because I'm in there?" Kaoru continued to bash.

"I want to save you..."

"I'M BEYOND SAVING!" Kaoru yelled. "Where have you been? You've been off living your life! I have no life besides this! This-this... this SINNING is my LIFE!"

Lex began to cry. "I'm trying to save you."

Kaoru began to cry with her. "Go save Hikaru..."

Kaoru let go of her and put his head on the floor and he began sobbing. He thought back to his nightmares and how when he woke up he had scarrs all over his body. Then he thought of the horror movies and how he was scared every single second he was around Hikaru. He couldn't tell what was real anymore.

"Go save Hikaru... he can still be saved..." Kaoru sobbed and he sprawled out onto the floor. "I can't be saved..."

"Yes you can!" Lex sobbed. "You can!"

"You're just a little WITCH! What do you know?" Kaoru snarled and hissed as he picked up his head and glared into her eyes.

Kaoru softened as he saw the look of pure horror on her face.

"W-what?"

Kaoru thought back to looking into the mirror every single day of his life. That scared look hidden behind the eyes of the person staring back at him. The anger and hatred the soul held, the true Kaoru that cried all the time that never showed himself. The damned soul. He knew that sadness in her eyes. That made him mad. He wasn't unique and individual.

Other people had his eyes.

Someone else had his face.

He LOVED the person who had his face.

Now he hated them all.

"I want to be alone," Kaoru snarled. "Forever, just leave me alone."

"You... called me a witch," Lex replied, shaken.

Kaoru closed his eyes to avoid those eyes. His muscles tensed and he began to pick himself up.

"You are."

Lex sobbed and she began crying.

Kaoru finally heard the footsteps as he turned to face the two Clubs. The Black Magic, and the Host. Haruhi picked Lex up and tried to soothe her.

"Shhh, Kaoru doesn't mean it," Haruhi cooed.

"He does! He's just like my daddy!" She sobbed and cried. "He's just like daddy!"

Kaoru looked away. Recently, his nightmares had scared him worse. One of them had came true. Kaoru's two nightmares were himself killing other people, or Hikaru killing him. Figurativly, Kaoru had just done one of those things.

He felt horrible.

"He's like DADDY!" Lex cried and sobbed. "He came back and hurt mommy! Now she's gonna leave me too! It's not my fault!"

Everyone glared at Kaoru.

Kaoru gritted his teeth.

_Why does everyone always take her side? Even when it comes down to it, Milord takes the child's side. Never my side._

Kaoru looked back with his hurt eyes.

_If I died last night, they wouldn't even cry._

Hikaru dashed forward.

"That's not true!" Hikaru shouted as he read the words planted on Kaoru's mind. As he stared at Kaoru he finally got Kaoru's last statement. "Don't even joke about that!"

Only, Hikaru didn't know how to take how cold Kaoru was. He wasn't hugging back.

"It is," Kaoru whispered. "And you know it."

Hikaru blinked as he noticed the texture of Kaoru's arms and the long scrapes on Kaoru's head.

"What happened to you?" Hikaru teased.

Lex had stopped crying and stared on as well as the others.

Hikaru rolled up Kaoru's sleeves and he stroked the cuts on Kaoru's arms, then he unbuttoned Kaoru's shirt and stared at much of the same marks. Hikaru scowled and stood straight and touched the scrapes and marks on Kaoru's head.

"When did these get here?"

"I... fell..." Kaoru replied. "For my head..."

"And the others?" Hikaru urged.

Kaoru shook his head. "I don't know."

"Psychology," Lex and Nekozawa replied at the same time.

Beelzenef pointed to Kaoru and Hikaru.

"Kaoru has much too much emotional trauma, it's inflicting him when he's asleep and when he's awake. When something shocks him he blanks, which was what happened to hi-"

"You promised!" Kaoru shouted.

They all looked back to Kaoru.

"You promised!" Kaoru sobbed and he backed away. "You promised... you promised you wouldn't tell..."

Nekozawa and Tamaki nodded. "We didn't."

Kaoru closed his eyes. "You promised me!"

He looked at Tamaki then Nekozawa, "You promised not to tell about yesterday." He looked to Tamaki. "You promised not to let me break down in public." Finally, he looked at Hikaru and he began to cry a little harder. "You promised that you'd never leave me!"

"We never broke our promise," The three argued.

"You did..." Kaoru sobbed.

_Did they really? Or was that a dream?_

"I don't know..." Kaoru whined and shook his head. "I can't tell what's real anymore."

Hikaru walked closer and hugged Kaoru close.

"I don't know..." Kaoru sobbed.

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

I figured it out, why Kao-kun is so interesting to me. He's like my father. I want to figure him out, what makes him tick. Yet, I want to help him. I want to help him with all of my heart and soul. I don't want him to turn out like my father did. I want Kao-kun to grow up and be someone great and have a wonderful family.

He finally admitted how he felt about me. I didn't act the best. Suddenly, the whole rush of how they were so alike and why Kao-kun was so amazing hit me, and it knocked me off course and I lost my composure for a second there. I really don't know exactly what came over me. I just can't really explain it. Maybe it was the emotional trauma from when I was younger.

I'm barely even an elementary student and yet I'm more complex in everything I do than some adults I know. It's kind of confusing.

Maybe I am a witch.

Kao-kun's starting to admit things more. He's starting to come clean ever since I came around. That's good. What I'm doing is working. I don't want Kao-kun to end up like daddy.

Even if I am a witch and I have no feelings or Kao-kun's a hopeless case beyond saving...

**...I just don't want him to end up like daddy.**


	19. Who Likes Who? A Twist

**Note: Now that it's the weekend, I'll be righting a lot more. I thank all my reviewers! I love your positive feedback!**

**The Sixteenth Day**_** Suoh Household**_

Kaoru sat in Tamaki's room, petting the dog, refusing to go downstairs.

Tamaki had called a meeting.

Kaoru refused to join them.

"It's so stupid," Kaoru scowled. "They're probably gonna say how Hikaru and I are losing money and profits for the Club."

Kaoru stopped his hand midstroke.

"Maybe... the Black Magic Club isn't so bad?"

Kaoru shook his head and the dog licked his face and Kaoru laughed.

"You're right, I'm a highschooler, I shouldn't worry about this. I'm only in... 10th grade as the English call it?" Kaoru replied as he laughed and began petting the dog again.

Kaoru layed down and snuggled up on Tamaki's bed. Something about it felt familiar.

"Did Milord and Neko take me to this house when I was passed out?" Kaoru wondered aloud.

He touched the pillows and smiled.

"It's so nice."

Kaoru sat up and laughed and blushed a bit.

"Man, if I ever had a sleepover at Milord's home I'd want his bed," Kaoru chuckled to himself.

He turned his head and stared at the wall and closed his eyes. The dog nudged his hand so Kaoru began to pet it again. Kaoru, was hurting. He was alone again, he'd been alone a lot for awhile now as Kaoru remembered. Kaoru opened his eyes and looked at the dog, smiled, and gave her a big hug, making her groan a bit.

Kaoru laughed, "I need to get a dog."

Kaoru stroked her head and replied, more solemn and quiet, "Dog's are loyal, they'd never leave you."

An idea hit Kaoru and he burst out laughing. "Milord's like a DOG!"

The door opened as Kaoru laughed and laughed as he tried to pet the dog.

"What's so funny?" Haruhi asked as she walked in.

He stopped and looked up at her.

"What do you want?"

Haruhi blinked, raised an eyebrow, then walked in and closed the door.

"I wanted to talk to you," Haruhi replied.

"Is anyone out there?"

Haruhi shook her head and sat on the bed next to Kaoru. She scooted as close as she could until Kaoru felt uncomfortable, then she scooted back a bit. Kaoru opened his eyes widely. _How did she know I was uncomfortable with that?_

She looked at Kaoru and smiled. Kaoru blushed.

"You're really pretty, you know that?"

Haruhi blinked and cocked her head. "Really?"

Kaoru nodded, "Definetly. You are really blunt, but it's really attractive."

Haruhi blushed and looked away. "You... really think so?"

He smiled kindly and scooted closer to her, inside of his uncomfortable zone, and put his hand on Haruhi's.

"Nope, I know so."

She smiled brightly and gave Kaoru a hug.

Kaoru hugged her back and closed his eyes.

"You're really nice," They both replied.

Haruhi blushed and she took herself back a bit, her arms still around him, and looked into his eyes.

"You wanna go to a restaurant?" Kaoru blushed. "Like... a date?"

Haruhi blinked. "Have you ever gone on a date?"

Kaoru shook his head. "You?"

She shook her head as well, but she replied, "You and Hikaru do everything before you let anyone else do it with you. You had sex with him before you had it with anyone else, you kissed him, you hugged him..."

"Just because twins doesn't mean everything has to be identical on the important stuff," Kaoru responded quietly. "I can do stuff different than Hikaru if I want to. I just never wanted to before."

"You... want to go out with me?" Haruhi wondered, blushing.

Kaoru slowly smiled. "Yes, more than anything. I have a question though, would you go out with Hikaru for me?"

Haruhi thought for a moment and shook her head.

"Not until I know how things go with you."

Kaoru stared into her eyes for a few, long moments. _Is... this real? Is this girl real?_

Slowly, his lips formed a smile.

"Good answer."

He pulled her back into the full embrace. It was weird how this all happened. All at Tamaki's house. Oh, they'd all be furious if they ever found out.

"Don't tell the rest of the Club," They both requested at the same time.

Then they both laughed and pulled away.

_Like a twin with different eyes, a different face... _Kaoru opened his mouth and blushed. _I don't really want to think of her as a twin. I'm afraid to._

Kaoru pulled his hands away from her and he scooted away and looked away as well.

_I'm afraid to touch her. This isn't something that is supposed to happen to me._

Kaoru looked back at her and began crying. It quickly turned into sobs, thus bawling.

Haruhi scooted closer and hugged Kaoru.

"What's wrong?" Haruhi asked.

Kaoru held her tighter.

_Please God, let something go right. Let me have happiness, even for a day._

He pulled away and looked her in the face, then he cried a little harder and he went back into the hug.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru shook his head. "No, don't talk."

Haruhi smiled. "Okay."

_Something's bound to go wrong. Something has to go wrong now. Hikaru's gonna find out, Dad's gonna find out, Chris will find out..._

_Nothing good stays with me. Please, let me have a reason to live._

_Just let me have something to live for._

**

* * *

**

**Haruhi's POV**

I guess... I've kind of noticed it lately. I care more for Kaoru in this strange, weird way, than I do for the rest of the Club members. It's like, well, I don't really know how to explain it. It's odd, how I've looked at Kaoru lately. I kind of like it.

He asked me out. That's when I realized what it was. I... like Kaoru. I'm kind of afraid to admit it. I've never liked someone before. I've always just been here for education, never love, never fun. I kind of like Tamaki-sempai and Hikaru. I'd never tell Kaoru that though. Tamaki-sempai just has this magical air that goes over you. I thought maybe he was a wizard once, but it doesn't seem likely anymore. I mean, wizards are smart!

Hikaru just... he's so sweet, but he acts out way too much. I don't think he'd be able to take my attitude, he'd get mad at me and everything. I really don't want someone to get mad and jealous all the time. I don't really want someone obsessing over me so much.

Kaoru's... different. He's really sweet, with a dark side to him. I know that already. I've always known it. He has this little twinkle when he's with Hikaru and when they're about to do something horrible and devilish. I guess, that's what I first fell in love with. I still love that. Kaoru's more sweet and sensitive than Hikaru is. It's really adorable, I like it a lot. If we go out, I feel like I'd be able to talk to Kaoru about just about anything. I'm not really aware on the whole gender thing, so I can talk to him about _guy_ and _girl_ stuff. He's more calm, he'll be able to take that.

Yes, I like Hikaru a lot too, a whole lot. Only, I feel really horrible for Kaoru and I've noticed the true differences between everyone's attitudes for the time that Lex has been here. It's really nice to see the true sides. It's also really nice to see Kaoru cry. I've never seen that before. Lex-chan has told me that she feels dreadfully awful for being so mean to Kaoru. I kind of agree with her on that. It's nice that she's sorry for it.

I don't really know who I like more than the other. Ahh, I kind of like every guy in the Host Club in their own special way.

**Oh man, what am I gonna do?**


	20. Where Are They?

**Note: After everything I've done so far, you REALLY think this is gonna be Haruhi and Kaoru? Yeah, it could be... but probably not.**

**Sorry if you read this before, some if it might still be messed up. It's like it says on the front page, I think I have Microsoft stuffs so it doesn't work. My apologies if you read this before I edited it.**

**The Seventeenth Day_ After School: Suoh Household_**

"WHERE IS HARUHI!" Tamaki shouted as he looked over everyone in the Club.

"I dunno, Kaoru's not here either," Hikaru replied calmly. "I don't see what the big deal is."

"Think about it, Haru-chan has been talking to Kao-kun all day," Hunny replied. "And Lex-chan is here, so why isn't Haru-chan?"

Lex nodded. "I know where she is."

Everyone stared at her and asked, "Where?"

Lex shook her head, "I can't tell."

Tamaki blinked. "Now I'm _really_ curious! Come on Lex-chan, can't you tell Daddy where his Daughter is?"

She shook her head. "Nope."

"Do you know where Kaoru is?" Hikaru asked as Tamaki gained his usual stature in the nearest corner of the room. "He left without telling me where he was going, and I haven't really able to understand what he's been thinking all day. He's kind of been avoiding me though."

"I do."

"Where?"

"Can't tell."

"That means they're together," Mori, Hunny, and Kyoya replied all at the same time. "If she can't tell us where both of them are and if they've been talking to eachother all day long."

Hunny blushed and looked away. "I think I know what this is about."

Mori nodded and Lex stared at them. "Oh really?"

The two nodded and smiled.

"I was talking to Kao-kun once."

"WHERE'S DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL?" Tamaki cried as he ran over. "How can you all know?"

Hikaru stood and walked away a bit.

_"Why were alone with Haruhi?" _Hikaru had asked Kaoru the night before.

_"Why should it matter to you?" _Kaoru shot back.

"Well, if you must know, she just came in to talk to me and we had a discussion. That's kind of the reason I was alone with her."

Hikaru _had_ infact, noticed the blush on Kaoru's face before Kaoru pulled away.

_Don't talk like to me, it makes me feel horrible,_ Hikaru had read in Kaoru's eyes.

He smiled.

Kaoru looked up like Hikaru was insane and shook his head.

Hikaru cocked his head.

That's when Kaoru teared up and ran away into a guest room. That's where Kaoru slept the night before, and Hikaru felt horrible.

"I wonder what I did wrong," Hikaru wondered under his breath as he paced around. "What did I do to make Kaoru like this?"

"Opening a gate can cause problems, especially when the inhabitants have different opinions on where to go and have never left the gate before," Lex replied. "Sometimes, it scares one of the inhabitants so much that they hide, and certain outsiders have more knowledge of the inside world than even those who lived in it. It's only natural for others to find the person before the person closest to the hider."

"What?" Hikaru asked. "I'm not good at English."

Lex shook her head. "Nevermind."

Hunny stood in thought for a moment.

"Takashi and I kind of get it."

Hikaru and Tamaki shook their heads, "Why do I suck at this so much?"

"Because you're always clouded with thoughts about that person you care about," Kyouya replied, annoyed. "It bugs us a lot."

Hikaru glared at Kyouya, "I like you better at Club."

"You like Kaoru better when he's happy, right?" Kyoya asked back, a little annoyed at Hikaru's comment.

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "Well yeah, of course I do."

"You ignore him when he's sad, right?"

Hikaru gulped. "Well... sometimes... but I mean, what can I do?"

Kyoya shook his head. "It's the same situation. Kaoru puts on an act to please people, I do too. When we actually act the way we are, you don't like it, Hikaru. You have to get over it and accept us for who we are, if you don't, you'll never understand why Kaoru's crying."

"You'll never find him," Lex added.

Hikaru put his fingers on his temple and rubbed it. "I'm confused."

They all laughed, "Figured as much."

He felt embarassed, being made a fool of. "I just... wanna know where Kaoru is."

"How come?" Tamaki asked.

"I think..." Hikaru shook his head.

_"Are you fighting with Kaoru, honey? It really looks like it,"_ The words of his mother rang through his head. Hikaru shook his head even more. "I think... I think that, I need to apologize to Kaoru for something I've done, and if he's out of my view for so long, how am I supposed to know what's wrong and what I did?"

They all blinked, Tamaki scratched his head.

"Wow, you got it," Lex and Kyoya replied at the same time.

Hikaru smiled and blushed.

"But you have to wait," Lex pointed out.

Sorrow flashed past Hikaru's eyes but then it went back to being hidden and he smiled, "Okay."

_"No mom, I'm not fighting with Kaoru,"_ The rest of the conversation played out in his mind.

"What?"

Hikaru had shook his head.

That was it, their mom and dad were gonna be gone for two months. Kaoru wasn't too happy about it, he refused to come out of his bedroom.

"Of course not honey, come on, let's go."

Hikaru had stared at them as they left, trying to feel Kaoru's pain. It wouldn't come. Hikaru just couldn't feel any sadness as his parents left him again. He had much joy when they actually came to events with him, sure. Only, Hikaru didn't care about them leaving. It was natural. They'd come back.'

Hikaru shook his head.

"I just don't get it."

"Huh?" Everyone had forgotten that Hikaru was even there anymore.

"Oh, nothing."

* * *

**Mitsukuni's and Takashi's POV**

Well, Hika-chan seems kind of worried lately. He blanks out a lot more, he gets more worried about Kao-kun too. I guess I can't really blame him though, with Haru-chan being liked by Hika-chan, Tama-chan, and Kao-kun. Kao-kun told me he liked Haru-chan a long time ago. He was the first to admit it. Maybe Kao-kun will actually end up with Haru-chan.

If that happens, Hika-chan will be lonely. Hika-chan is more childish and 'kind' than Kao-kun is.

I think Haru-chan noticed it. I think we all have besides Hika-chan, maybe even he has. Kao-kun... isn't as nice as he seems to the customers. He seems very vengeful, and he hates it when people touch Hika-chan. We've known that forever. We've known them since kindergarten, sure, I never talked to them, but I noticed how they acted together.

When someone finally guessed right on who was who, Kaoru panicked. I noticed that. Hikaru didn't panick, Kaoru did. I noticed that difference in them. Kaoru doesn't want ANYTHING to ever change. Hikaru just downright doesn't care. Kaoru's more emotionally scarred than Hikaru is. Kaoru freaks out at the tiniest things. It's kind of scary sometimes. When the twins are pulling pranks and everything, Hikaru gets a lot of pleasure out of it, but Kaoru seems a little hurt sometimes. That's to hide it. If you look a bit closer, you'd notice the fact that Kaoru loves hurting people with their pranks more than Hikaru does. Kaoru loves to tease everyone. It scares me sometimes.

We're a family, we've all agreed to that. We all live by that in the club.

Outside the club... what does Kaoru do?

Will Kaoru show how he feels or keeps it locked? If he shows it, will he be rejected even more? I don't really know what to think. I'm kind of scared of what Kaoru might do if he decides to show himself. If he does show himself, what will he do then?


	21. I Hate Myself

**Note: On the last chapter, their final saying was supposed to be, "Can Hikaru deal with how Kaoru actually feels?"**

**The Seventeenth Day_ Fujioka Household_**

Kaoru sat, laughing with Haruhi as he helped her prepare supper.

"You're not that bad, Haruhi," Kaoru admitted as he pulled his stuff out of the oven.

Haruhi raised an eyebrow as she put her food on the table and sat down across from him.

"You too."

Kaoru shook his head.

"What?" Haruhi worried. "Did I say something wrong?"

"You lied right there."

"I did? About what? I really do think you're not that bad," Haruhi continued.

Kaoru shook his head. "I _am_ that bad though. I'm a horrible person and I know it."

Haruhi frowned, "You never talk good about yourself, why?"

"There's nothing good to say."

So they started to eat. Ranka came home and joined the two at the table. Afterwards, Ranka was obsessing over Kaoru.

"You're skin's so smooth!" He exclaimed.

"Dad, don't scare Kaoru," Haruhi nagged.

Kaoru smiled.

"Only as smooth as Hikaru's," Kaoru sighed.

The Fujioka's looked at Kaoru worridly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Haruhi asked.

"We're the same," Kaoru sighed. "There's no difference."

"Don't tell yourself that!" Ranka replied. "You two are very different."

Kaoru began tearing up. He whimpered, "That doesn't help."

Kaoru sat down at the table again and the two began bombing him with questions.

"Why are you so sad when you two are told you're different?"

"Because we're twins, you're not supposed to know that."

"Why are you sad when you're told you're the same?"

"Because..."

Kaoru held his breath. He thought back to health class and how they never did finish their class session. "Because it's like loving yourself. It's narcissistic. I don't want to be a narcissist, it's not good, it's a terribly unforgivable sin."

The two sighed and stared at Kaoru.

"Tell us something good about yourself," They both replied at the same time.

Kaoru sat thinking. "There's nothing."

"What?"

"There's nothing good about me."

They both shook their heads.

"There must be something good about you," Ranka insisted.

"Nope, not really," Kaoru replied. "I'm just a horrible person. There's nothing to be grateful about."

"Do you hate yourself?" They both questioned.

Kaoru thought and opened his mouth, but didn't say anything.

Yes. I do.

Kaoru stood up.

"I feel sick, I'm going home," Kaoru responded.

"I thought your parents were out of town?" Haruhi asked.

Kaoru felt sick for real now. "They are."

Ranka stood up and gripped Kaoru's arm, "Then you can stay here with us! We'll take good care of you!"

"I... Hikaru..." Kaoru began to say.

"What about Hikaru?" Haruhi wondered.

Kaoru shook his head.

"I guess I'll stay."

Ranka made up a bed for Kaoru and Haruhi made Kaoru some soup to nestle his stomach.

Kaoru sat on the made bed sipping some of the soup.

He closed his eyes and sighed.

Kaoru put the soup next to him on the table and hugged himself and began crying.

"What's wrong?" Ranka wondered as he walked in. "Haruhi's out shopping."

"I... I want..." Kaoru sobbed.

"What do you want?"

"I want my Hikaru!" Kaoru bawled. "I want him back! I don't want them to take him away!"

Ranka frowned and stood there and stared at Kaoru, not knowing how to deal with this.

"I want him..." Kaoru cried deeply and he began whining. "I want him..."

"Lex-chan is coming back soon, you should at least regain your composure," Ranka explained, trying not to sound mean.

"I don't want to see her..." Kaoru snarled between his clenched teeth. "It's all her fault. It's her fault I'm going to hell."

Ranka sat next to Kaoru. "Do you hate her?"

Kaoru laughed, "No, I don't hate her. Because it's all my fault. It's my fault this happened in the first place. It's all my fault."

"Do you hate yourself?"

"Yes... yes I do..." Kaoru whispered. "It's my fault God hates me."

* * *

**Haruhi's Dad's POV**

Well, what am I to do? Haruhi brings a friend home and he starts breaking down, and his parents aren't home! I don't know, it's probably one of those rich people's things. I don't know when his parents are gonna come back. How long am I gonna have to look after this one? I already have to look after that little girl until her mother gets better.

This child though... something's wrong with him. I can already see that. He's a bit psychotic I think. I don't really know how to explain it. He's really mad and angry. How does he take that out?

On himself.

Whenever anything ever goes on, he hates himself for it. I guess that's a way to live your life. I'd never live mine like that, but hey, this kid isn't me. It hurts to see him like this though. It hurts to see a child who despises everything. He must've been neglected. He's the opposite of most rich children. He doesn't act spoiled. He doesn't do anything like that. There's one thing that I can already see happens. When something goes wrong, when he feels spoiled, there's only one thought going through his head.

**"I hate myself so much for that. How much stupider can I get?"**


	22. Kaoru's Thoughts

I've always loved Hikaru. Never in my life have I _not_ loved Hikaru.

I guess... sometimes I get really mad at him, I don't think I should do that. I mean, I love him so much. So much more than I love myself. In our relationship, there's "Hikaru" and "Kaoru" but never "Myself". So no one can tell me that hating myself is like hating Hikaru as well. I am Kaoru, Hikaru is Kaoru, Kaoru is Hikaru. Myself is neither of those two. Myself is me. I am me. Hikaru is not. Hikaru is himself. It's never ourself, it's always us. We are us. I guess that's kind of hard to understand.

Lex showed me something, that nothing ever turns out the way I want them to. No one _really_ understands me. Just thinking that they understand me is gonna send me to hell. I need to stop thinking of us and more of me. It's kind of hard to do that though.

It's not their world. It's our world.

People are evil creatures. Sneaking into our world and stealing Hikaru from me. They're the ones going to hell. I won't feel sorry for them in the LEAST. It's their own faults. They damn themselves.

I'm hiding. Hikaru found me for moment... but then he lost me again. While he was gone I ran into Haruhi. She's one of the best things that's happened to me.

But I can't forgive her. The relationship will never work out.

I CAN NOT forgive her for what she did.

Life used to be about us, and only us. We were the twins. It was Hikaru and Kaoru, until we were pulled out. Now it's just Kaoru. I hate it.

So, I went to Haruhi's house for our date. I ended up getting sick and stuck over at their house. Ranka-san said that he'd take care of me. I don't want him to take care of me. I want Hikaru to take care of me...

There's a new predicament, however. There's something new about my relationship with him.

I want to _**hurt**_ him so badly.

Hikaru wanted me to come home. I am NOT going home with him. I'm so mad at him... I can't stand being around him anymore. I can't stand seeing him. I can't stand not being able to touch him. I wouldn't necessarily say it's _love_ love, but it's love none-the-less. I love him so much.

I know he sees me. I know he hears me. Yet he blocks it out and pretends I'm okay.

I'M NOT OKAY.

I'll never be okay unless SOMEONE finds me. I mean, Milord, Haruhi, Lex, Kyoya, Hunny, Mori, everyone's found me. Even Chris.

I don't want them.

I want him.

Hikaru.

Sometimes I think I'm a freak, that I'm obsessing over something idiotic, that I should just get over it and stop worrying about it. Stop throwing my life away for some stupid fantasy. I could do that. If he wasn't here. I can't forget when the thing that I love so much is infront of me.

Just the sight of him makes me cry sometimes. Those beautiful fingers, that smooth face, that soft majestic hair he has. It just overwhelms me. My face with an added touch of beauty. Yes, Hikaru was made for heaven. His hair is a tint lighter than mine, his voice deeper. He's a true male. He belongs in heaven. What about me you might ask? I have this... high voice, like a girls sometimes, I have darker hair, and I get sick all the time. ALL the time. I never stay home though, that'd be selfish. It'd be selfish to make Hikaru go alone. Hikaru would be lonely, he'd die without me there by his side!

That's the lie I believe.

I love that lie, I can't let it go. Because it's killing me. It killed me.

Hikaru doesn't care.

I see him watch me, and he smiles at me. He loves the way I look. He loves the way I cry. He loves the way I _**bleed.**_ It hurts, really bad. To know that Hikaru loves to see me in pain. Yet it's a relieving feeling, to know that he loves me somehow.

I'd die if he hurt.

There's a difference between us. I care. He doesn't.

I hate that.

I hate _**him**_

If that face every cried, if there were ever tears in those eyes. If those lips EVER say, "I hate you," again... I don't know what I'll do.

I do know what I'll do.

I'll die.

I can't take that. I can't take those fights. I try not to let him realize it, but everytime he yells at me, it hurts. So I yell back. Because I hate him.

But I don't.

I love him.

He hates me.

He loves me.

But I know the true answer now.

Hikaru just doesn't care about me. I'm his toy, as long as I please him I belong. If I don't, he leaves.

I HATE how he does that. I love how he does that.

**I love my Hikaru. I hate this Hikaru.**


	23. Horrible Nightmare

**The Eighteenth Day? The Ninteenth Day? The First Day?**

Kaoru cuddled close to Hikaru. Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru as they sat on the bed. They hadn't had the same bed for long now, they'd just always crawl into the other persons bed.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru whispered as he closed his eyes and started to fall asleep.

Hikaru kissed Kaoru on the head and pulled Kaoru closer. He smiled at the warmth of his brother and he licked Kaoru's upper neck and sucked on the same spot for awhile. Kaoru was uncomfortable with this, but he didn't argue. He didn't want to argue. Not with him. Not with Hikaru.

"My darling," Hikaru whispered as he stopped sucking on Kaoru's neck and the warm breath made Kaoru blush even more.

"Yes?"

"Nothing."

Hikaru licked Kaoru's jaw line all the way to his chin.

"Hikaru, I'm scared."

The arms caressed the younger boy's naked upper body.

"Why?"

"You're gonna leave me."

A cackle released the older's lips as he moved his hand farther down Kaoru's stomach.

"So?"

Kaoru opened his mouth and opened his eyes but stopped before he said anything.

"I just... wanted you to stay with me."

"You're so selfish."

Kaoru's throat choked and he began to cry. A hand went over his mouth and he couldn't breath, so he struggled. He tried to shout his brother's name, but he couldn't. The fingernails of the hand dug into the skin around his lips.

"Don't cry," Hikaru hissed. "It bugs me."

Kaoru began tearing up but he stop crying. The hand retreated down Kaoru's chest again.

"I'm sorry," Kaoru replied.

"You better be."

Hikaru pushed Kaoru down onto the bed and Hikaru crawled on top of him. Kaoru looked through Hikaru's eyes, trying to figure out what Hikaru was gonna do. Instead of an answer, he saw something flash through Hikaru's eyes... hatred? Joy? Whatever it was, it roused something in Kaoru's senses. He spazzed and he kicked wildly, tears flowing freely.

"Hikaru! I don't like th-"

Hikaru's lips covered his screams, and the older's tongue silenced the younger's.

Kaoru's body began to relax and he wrapped his arms around Hikaru's neck and rubbed one down the naked back. His hand zinged, that smooth, smooth skin underneath his fingertips. Hikaru's skin under his fingertips.

"Don't cry, I'm here now," Hikaru whispered as he took his mouth away for a breather, saliva dripping off his lips. Kaoru blushed.

_This... looks like something out of a perverted book._

Hikaru came back towards him and began kissing him again, his hands going up and down Kaoru's body. Kaoru tried to smile, but he found when he did it was harder for Hikaru to kiss him. That might mean Hikaru would stop. Kaoru didn't want Hikaru to stop.

Hikaru... became a little more daring and he began kissing Kaoru's chest.

"Stop it."

Hikaru took his head up and stared at his brother in disbelief.

"Stop! Stop right now, Hikaru!"

"W-why?"

"I'm going out with Haruhi now, this isn't right."

"She's cheating on you, why shouldn't you cheat on her?" Hikaru asked, his lips forming into a malicious smile.

"Cheating on me? With who?" Kaoru questioned.

Hikaru cackled and brought his face level to Kaoru's.

"Yes, she's cheating on you with Tamaki," Hikaru replied.

"So why should I be unfaithful too?" Kaoru shouted back.

The hands sprung around Kaoru's throat.

"Shut up."

Kaoru closed his eyes as the grip came tighter. He was starting to think he liked the perverted moment better than this.

"Just shut up. You talk too much. WAY too much."

He struggled under the grip of the hands.

"Let me go!" Kaoru choked.

Hikaru smirked. "No one will know. Why can't I do what I want with you? Why do you think Nekozawa is so interested in you? Because you're a puppet."

He rested his waist on Kaoru's and smiled as Kaoru shivered.

"You're my puppet, you think anyone will care what happens? You're my twin."

He cackled again and rubbed Kaoru's body with one hand while the other pushed it's thumb deeper into Kaoru's throat.

"They think I love you. I can play with your body and I can kill it. No one will know. Because they think I love you."

"You don't?"

"Please, stop trying to make me laugh," Hikaru hissed.

Kaoru struggled. "Hikaru! HIKARU!"

"What?"

"You're not my brother! My brother loves me! He loves me!" Kaoru whined. "He loves ME..."

Kaoru opened his eyes and stared at the face looking back at him.

"Maybe you're Hikaru..." the person hissed again. "You'd never know. You can't tell the difference. Everyone acts like they know the difference, because they know the outward differences. Haven't we ever switched and we didn't know which one we were? Maybe I'm not really Hikaru, maybe I'm really Kaoru."

"NOO!" Kaoru sobbed.

The hands came up to his neck and pushed down hard until it pierced the skin abit. Kaoru couldn't breath.

"Or... maybe I'm you."

"What?"

The face smiled. "I'm you."

* * *

"Kaoru..." Ranka, Haruhi, and Lex tried to wake Kaoru up. "Stop crying." 

His eyes finally opened.

"Where am I?" Kaoru wondered. "What day is it?"

"The day before the Romeo and Juliet play first of all..." Haruhi scowled.

"You woke me up..." Ranka whined. "Now I'm gonna be tired at work."

Kaoru looked between them all. "I'm sorry."

"Nightmare about Hikaru?" Lex guessed.

Kaoru was about to object, but then he decided it was better if they didn't know. So he nodded.

"Yeah."

"Well, it's the Eighteenth day that I've been here if you count midnight as the start of a new day. Otherwise it's the Seventeenth night," Lex explained.

Kaoru nodded and closed his eyes. "I'm really sorry."

"No problem, Kaoru," Haruhi replied, smiling.

Kaoru smiled and he sat there.

_At first, that was Hikaru. Then it was me... but... I think I liked it better when it was Hikaru, the way he kissed me, the way he held me..._

_I'll miss him._

**

* * *

**

**Hikaru's POV**

I can't believe Kaoru is sleeping over at HARUHI'S house! I told this to Milord and he flipped, I wish I wasn't there. I wish Kaoru was... Kaoru deserved to feel the pain of watching the emotionial distress Milord went through. After all...

Kaoru did cause it.

I'm just so mad at him, he refused to come home. He refused to come home because I was here, I know it.

Is there anyway I can mend what I broke?

I love him, I don't want to lose him. Can I make Kaoru see how much I love him before Kaoru ends up hating me? Kaoru probably does hate me now anyway. It's kind of depressing. How much I love him. When I kiss him at home, I mean it. When I lay in bed with him, I mean it. When I tell him I love him, _I mean it._ When I have sex with him, I mean that most of all. I just want to say it to him.

"I love you more than anything Kaoru, I want you to know that."

Like I'd ever say that. Besides, he'd probably me that he hates me. I can't stand hearing those words. I get so mad at him sometimes, it's not even funny. I just wanna rip his head off. When we have out fights, sometimes I mean every last word I say. Then he yells back at me, and I think he means those words too. It scares me. We don't really talk much afterwards. It's cold being alone. I'm cold when I try to sleep at night. Is Kaoru sleeping alone, scared? Or is he happy for being alone in his own bed?

I wish he missed me.

**I want to make him love me back.**


	24. The Play

**Note: I looked on a website to get this information because I haven't read the book.** **It's not exactly correctly worded either, for I chose to use more common phrases to fit the scenes, and I changed a name to it's Greek version.**

**The Eighteenth Day**_** Also Known As The Day of The Play**_

Talking about the play relieved Kaoru and Hikaru of their fighting.

"It's nice to see them talking again," A couple girls and even some guys told the Host Club. They agreed, the fighting between the two had started to break their hearts. No one was sure how much more of that they could've taken without a break.

"You're so dumb," Kaoru hissed as Hikaru tried to show Kaoru how to do his chemistry.

"Excuse me for trying to save your life," Hikaru replied, sarcastically. "You could mix the wrong chemicals and then the next you know -_BOOM_- You're dead."

Kaoru smiled.

"Yeah..."

No fan girls squealed, no one yelled, no teachers scolded. Every one was glad that the two were even looking at eachother again. No one wanted to ruin it.

"So, who's who in this play?" The twins questioned as they walked in.

Kyoya showed them the list he made.

_

* * *

_

_Hikaru - Romeo_

_Kaoru - Juliet_

_Tamaki - Juliet's Father, The Friars_

_Kyoya - Juliet's Mother_

_Mori - Romeo's Mother, Benvolio_

_Hunny - Romeo's Father, the Nurse_

_Haruhi - Rosaline, Paris_

_Renge - Servant_

_Not Seen But Spoken Of Characters - Mercutio, Tybalt, The Prince_

* * *

Hikaru frowned. "Can't this wait until another day? I don't think I'm ready to kiss Kaoru yet." 

Kyoya shook his head, "Of course not, everyone's expecting it to be today."

"Yeah, Hikaru. I can't wait," Kaoru teased as he hopped over. "It should be fun. We figured out at Haruhi's that I make a pretty girl, Ranka agreed to come dress me for the play."

Hikaru frowned again, but he nodded. "If you really want to."

Tamaki walked up to them, shaking his head. "You guys better do good at this, my dad's coming."

Kyoya raised his eyebrow. "Really now? Then you better hope we do well."

The twins held eachother's hand and Kaoru stared at Hikaru and blushed as he remembered the way Hikaru's tongue felt. Only, it was just a dream, Hikaru's tongue felt more rough in surface. _Why am I thinking about Hikaru's tongue? He's my brother._

Eventually, Haruhi came back with her father and they took Kaoru off to get him dressed up.

Hikaru's stomach churned as he noticed his parents.

_What are they doing here?_ Hikaru worried.

"I told them about the play," Kyoya replied. "Kaoru will appreciate it, I'm sure."

"What about me?" Hikaru scowled.

"Hmm?"

"Nevermind."

Hikaru sighed and went off and got into his costume.

"This... is gonna suck," Hikaru told himself as he got dressed. He imagined Kaoru, standing there in a dress. "Kaoru isn't a very pretty girl now that I think about it. He's obviously much more pretty as a boy."

Hikaru groaned as he pulled his coat on.

"Why did Shakespeare have to have such a bad taste in fashion?" Hikaru moaned.

Of course, it's not that the outfit wasn't pretty, it's just that the twins hated small places. They hurt and were boring, so naturally they began to hate anything small. They did everything big, even their pretend fights.

"In this tragic story of Romeo and Juliet, you will see the story of these two young lovers of opposing families fall in love with eachother," Kyoya explained. He smiled and took a deep and graceful bow. "You can only guess who the main characters are. I did set the cast in your bulliten, however, so if you really don't get it, look in there."

Mori and Hunny walked out and bowed down.

"I can't remember if we show up, but I'm Romeo's Daddy!" Hunny greeted.

"Romeo's Mother," Mori responded.

The two trotted off stage.

"I'm here to report that a fight between the some of the Capulets and Montagues," Renge replied as she stepped on stage, in a fantastic otaku outfit only she could make a news reporter wear. "It was settled by the Princes warning of a death penalty for any further fighting. Now, I've also heard that fair Romeo-kun was..."

A slap was heard and Renge continued, "...Romeo is going to meet his friend, Benvolio."

"What was that?" Hikaru whispered to a nearby person.

"I had to get her into shape," Came Kyoya's harsh voice. "This is an English play, not a Japanese."

"What's wrong?" Mori asked as he stood onstage.

Hikaru gulped and starting to walk out.

"Oh... it's nothing really, it's just that the beautiful Maiden Rosaline has denied my love," Hikaru sighed as he walked out and stood in front of Mori. He felt nervous as he stood there, staring at Mori. Mori was supposed to be his friend, but he wasn't sure if Mori'd gotten any sleep the night before.

"Oh, she did?" Mori asked, with emotion in his voice.

_Kyoya must REALLY want money._ Hikaru thought, not knowing that Mori was infact ordered by Hunny and Kyoya to be as much of an actor as possible. Especially if it meant going out of character.

"Yes, her exact words were, _'I'll not be hit with Cupid's arrow, for I have Aretemis' wit,'_" Hikaru sighed again.

_How did I remember that?_

Mori shrugged, "Then examine other beauties."

Hikaru waved his hand at Mori as he began to walk away, "You cannot teach me to forget my beauty, Rosaline."

The curtain fell and quickly, the stage was changed to a street.

"Hey, Romeo!" Mori called as the curtains were starting to draw back. "Did you see the invitations? There's a party!"

"Oh, wonderful," Hikaru groaned as he walked up and took the invitation, looking over it. "Why should I care? It's a Capulet's party, isn't it?"

Mori nodded. "But Rosaline will be there."

Hikaru shot up, like he was told to. "Really?"

So, Mori nodded.

Hikaru smiled brightly. "We're going."

Again the scene changed, and Hikaru groaned in relief as he wasn't involved. He ran off to get some water.

He drank deeply from the water bottle Haruhi had given him.

"Hikaru!" Haruhi called quietly as she ran over, looking beautiful in her dress. Hikaru blushed and nodded. "You did so well."

"Y-yeah..."

"You gonna go watch Kaoru? We did a good job dressing him up, he's _really_ pretty," Haruhi laughed.

_I can't imagine Kaoru as a pretty girl._

Hikaru nodded. "After I drink this. Let's just listen for now."

They listened, but Hikaru only caught words about marriage, for he was obsessing over how melodious and smooth Kaoru's voice was.

"It's so beautiful," Hikaru whispered.

"Go, girl, seek happy nights to happy days," Hunny's voice finally broke through Hikaru's barrier of thought.

"We decided to skip the next scene," Kyoya's voice came. "I will tell you what it is though, it was Romeo talking to another one of his friends, about love. You may remember this quote, _'If love be rough with you, be rough with love. Prick love for pricking and you beat love down.'_"

Hikaru was told to get on stage, so he did, everyone was in their positions. Hikaru noticed something, Haruhi was nearby in her beautiful dress. Hikaru noticed something else. There was a beautiful person in a lovely dress with beautiful hair, too short for a Juliet. Oh, they were beautiful in Hikaru's eyes. Perhaps even an angel. At that point, it didn't matter to Hikaru if he might go off script, he _needed_ to know who that lovely creature was.

"Who is the lady that enriches the hand of that night?" Hikaru asked his line, not sure if that was even who he was supposed to be addressing. He forgot who his lines were supposed to be directed to.

"I don't know," Renge replied. "I am but a servant."

"Oh! She teaches the torches to burn bright. It seems as if she hangs upon the cheek of night! Like a rich jewel in an Ethiop's ear; beauty too rich for use, for earth too dear! So shows a snowy dove trooping with crows, as yonder lady o'er her fellows shows. The measure done, I'll watch her place of stand, and, touching hers, make blessed my rude hand," Hikaru recited from what he remembered, messing up a few words and phrases. "Did my heart love until now? I never saw true beauty before this night."

Hikaru walked up to the person, still holding his breath.

_By God, who is this? Who switched places with Kaoru? Did Kaoru get sick?_

Hikaru ignored his next few lines and went straight to kissing the persons hand, for he was afraid that if they talked, their beauty would be ruined.

The person blushed and replied, "You kiss by the book."

Hikaru raised his head slightly. It _was_ Kaoru!

He was about to speak out of line when Hunny came and took Kaoru's hand.

"The queen requests her daughter, immediately," Hunny responded.

Everyone left the stage and Kaoru stood alone with Hunny.

"Who was that pilgrim?" Kaoru asked, in that sweet melodic voice.

Hikaru blushed as he imagined kissing that mouth again. This would be different, this would be infront of people.

"It was none other than Romeo. The only son of your great enemy," Hunny replied.

"I must love a loathed enemy."

There was a slight break inbetween the two acts. Everyone was a buzzing.

"Did you see how cute Kaoru-kun was?" A couple girls squealed.

Hikaru ran over to Kyoya, "Where's my brother?"

"Your _sister? _Why, I do not know, but she could be going up into the tower for the next Act," Kyoya replied. "You must climb the tower."

"You want me to do what?" Hikaru spat.

"If you want a kiss from Kaoru," Kyoya teased.

Hikaru scowled and nodded his head.

"Can't I just wait beside the tower?" Hikaru suggested.

Kyoya smiled. "Oh, so you do know the storyline, eh? I was hoping I'd get you to do some back breaking work, but I guess I can't trick the twins."

Hikaru cussed under his breath and shook his head. He walked off and started walking to the tower that he must've figured Kaoru was in. Actually, he knew Kaoru was in it from his sense. He couldn't forget where his loved ones were anymore.

Kaoru walked forward and peered out the window.

Let me take a moment to describe how Kaoru looked, it's not that hard to imagine Hikaru for he looks not much different then his formal outfit at the Party close to the end of the year. Kaoru's orangish hair hung down on the sides of his face as usual. The dress was a lavendarish pink with white lace in the down the middle of the front. A crimson red ribbon tied around the stomach and Kaoru's hair was slick and straight, falling down and framing his face in layers. Truly a beautiful sight to Hikaru's eyes. Only an okama could make a lovely male this beautiful as a woman.

"It is the east, and Juliet is the sun," Hikaru was tempted to say, _"and Kaoru is my sun," _but he knew Kyoya would beat him for even trying to say that. Hikaru leaned against the tower and stared up at Kaoru's beautiful face and smiled. "Please sun, rise. Kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, for Juliet is prettier than she."

Hikaru was starting to like this play. Everything he was saying he meant with all of his heart.

Kaoru shook his head and leaned forward on his ledge in the dimness of the room. "Oh Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Hearing Kaoru's voice longing for him made Hikaru blush and hold his breath even more. _I'm right here, come down here and we'll ditch this joint. I got other plans in store for you, my darling._

"Deny your father and your family's name, or if you will not, if you swear your love to me, I will not longer be a Capulet," Kaoru replied, in that beautiful flowing tone again. He really did sound just like a women. Only prettier.

_It is final, Kaoru could never be a woman, he has too much magic to be one._ Hikaru decided.

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would be just as sweet," Kaoru sighed as his eyes gleamed as he stared out the window. Kaoru shuddered and looked around as he heard Hikaru whisper something from his lines. "Who's there?"

"'Tis I, Romeo," Hikaru responded.

"Do you realize the trouble you could get into?" Kaoru scowled, losing his lovey dovey attitude.

Hikaru smiled. "Think it matters to me? I could listen to you talk all night, my fair maiden. As long as it is your tongue speaking."

Kaoru smiled back but scolded, "You're a foolish boy."

"Foolish, may I be, but I love you Juliet, know that to be true. My darling, I wish to marry you."

Kaoru blushed and smiled lightly as Hikaru said this with a true happy smile on his own face.

_I know these are just words for a play, but I have never felt happier in my life to hear someone that word, _Kaoru thought as he stared at Hikaru.

_I've never been happier to say it, neither, _Hikaru replied, shocking Kaoru.

Kaoru stared in disbelief. _I didn't think you could hear me!_

This was all covered up by the shouts and squeals of the females in the crowd. Even Renge squealed, but the rest of the Club just stared and smiled, happy to see their twins back together again.

"It was a great idea that Hikaru suggested it," Kyoya replied.

"I will send you a messenger tomorrow, tell them and they will come back to me," Kaoru shouted as he began to stand straight.

Hikaru smiled. "Anything for you."

The curtains fell again and Hikaru felt like kissing Kaoru right there.

_Screw the script._

He was about to shout that to Kaoru and add that they should just run off right then when Kyoya appeared onto the stage.

"Why aren't you two moving?"

Hikaru was about to protest when Kaoru walked away.

Then the scene completely changed to that of a church or something. Hikaru didn't know. He saw Tamaki though, who was also known as Juliet's father, which he found rather funny. _He should be Rosaline's father._

"Our Romeo has not been in bed tonight?" Tamaki questioned as Hikaru walked up to him at his table with herbs spread out on the table. The curtains had already gone up.

Hikaru laughed, "Actually, I have not gone to sleep yet tonight. I fell in love with Juliet and I was at her side this whole night long, I wish to request a marriage between us. Of course, if that wouldn't be too much trouble for you to do."

"What happened to Rosaline?" Tamaki asked in a tone of voice he'd expect himself or Kyoya to use.

"I've always been known for doting, not loving," Hikaru explained, blushing.

"I guess this could be good, this could possibly end the fighting between your families... fine, I must warn you of something however," Tamaki agreed then quickly added something in. Hikaru was thinking of how this kind of fit Tamaki. "Wisely and slow; they stumble that run fast."

Hikaru laughed and nodded, "I know, I know."

The scene changed to a street again and Hikaru stood with Mori as Hunny ran up.

"Romeo?" He asked.

Hikaru tried not to laugh as he realized Hunny was dressed as a female.

"Yes, that 'tis me," Hikaru responded, finally regaining his composure.

"Will this afternoon work for the marriage?"

Hikaru stopped and thought. He nodded. "Yes, that would work quite well."

Then, on queue, Hikaru hands Hunny a bundle of ropes. Hunny nods, understanding that he knows what they're for.

Hikaru chuckled along with everyone else as the bundle was almost as big as Hunny was.

_A flaw..._ Hikaru would tease Kyoya later.

"What's taking her so long?" Kaoru worried as he paced back and forth. "It's taken her two and a half more hours than she said she'd need!"

"Oh, sorry Milady," Hunny apologized as he ran in and set the bundle of ropes down. "You two are to be married tonight in the cell of Friar Laurence."

That's what happened. **((I apologize, that's basically all the information the website gave me about the marriage between them.))**

While the characters and cast were taking their break and setting up for the next Act, Kyoya and Renge explained something to the crowd.

"Well, Benvolio and Mercutio met up with Tybalt, and got into a fight. Tybalt killed Mercutio and in revenge, Romeo killed Tybalt. By doing so, Romeo was banished from Verona and if he came back he would be executed," The two explained. "Romeo is to meet Juliet, for she is planning to go suicide. When Romeo threatens to kill himself, it becomes that much more important for him to see her."

"She must be married to Paris," Kyoya explained to Tamaki.

Tamaki shrugged, "I guess she must. There's no other choice. When shall the wedding be?"

"Thursday."

Haruhi tried to act happy.

She stood up and skipped off happily.

"I get the fair maiden I get the fair maiden!" Haruhi chimed as she skipped.

There was a LONG scene change, and Hikaru and Kaoru lay down in a bed together in the scene.

"Just as comfy as our one at home," Hikaru cooed as he lay next to Kaoru, his shirt off. Kaoru still had the dress on, to stay as a pretty girl. Hikaru kissed Kaoru's neck, happy to finally be able to touch the object of his affection in that lovely dress. "Isn't it?"

Kaoru smiled, "Shh, the scene's starting."

The moment the curtains raised, millions of loud squeals spread through the whole room. Some of the males and adults had to plug their ears from the noise.

"Mmm," Kaoru whined as he struggled under Hikaru's arms. "What's wrong, Romeo?"

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The lark," Hikaru whispered. "I'm supposed to leave before morning."

"BUT-" Kaoru started to protest as he rolled over, actually not wanting Hikaru to leave their bed without him. "That was a nightingale, not a lark."

Hikaru kissed Kaoru's forehead. "I must be gone and live, or stay and die."

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru and stared into his eyes.

"I swear, it's not morning yet!"

Hikaru smiled and kissed Kaoru's forehead yet again. "Let me be taken, let me be put to death."

Kaoru snuggled his head into the croon of Hikaru's neck and Hikaru held Kaoru close. Then something unexpected happened, Hunny walked into the scene. It wasn't unexpected by the means of the book, but no one wanted the lovely scene to end. The males took Kaoru to be a girl since he looked so much as one that they even were enjoying the scene and didn't want it to end.

"You're mother's coming," Hunny warned.

Hikaru took that as enough and he sat up and crawled out of bed and grabbed his shirt and put it on.

Kaoru sat up as well and waved good-bye to him, and he began sobbing. He asked Hikaru, even though he was gone, "Do you think we will ever meet again?"

"Are you still crying over Tybalt?" Kyoya asked as he walked into the scene.

Juliet shook her head. "I love him. I love the villian, Romeo."

Kyoya pretended not to notice that, "Don't worry, darling! Soon you will marry Paris! Maybe, while we are at it, we'll poison Romeo in his new home to avenge Tybalt."

"I will not marry Paris."

"Tell that to your father yourself then."

Kyoya called to Tamaki and Tamaki came walking in.

"What's this I hear?" Tamaki scowled. This... really didn't fit Tamaki at all.

"I will not marry Paris!" Kaoru objected.

"You will!" Tamaki told her. "Even if I have to drag you straight up to the altar!"

"Please, Daddy!" Kaoru whimpered. "Please don't make me!"

"I control this issue!" Tamaki shouted. "If you will not listen to me I will disown you! Don't think I won't!"

With that, Tamaki left the stage.

"If you do not delay the wedding by at least weeks or months, there will be another corpse found like Tybalt's," Kaoru hissed.

Kyoya shook his head and left.

Kaoru shook his head. "If none of this works out, there's one thing that will cheer me up. I'll just kill myself."

It turns to a scene where Haruhi is talking to Tamaki about the marriage.

"To Thursday?" Tamaki discovers. "I thought it was much later."

"Nope!" Haruhi tried to sound chipper.

"I see..."

"My Juliet is quiet depressed. She's still upset over Tybalt's death," Haruhi explained.

Kaoru walks onto the stage.

"Ah! My lovely Juliet!" Haruhi chimed as she walked over to Kaoru. "It's so nice to see you."

"It's not nice to see you," Kaoru scowled. "Leave me alone, you wretched creature."

"I see, you came to admit your love for me?" Haruhi laughed.

"Go away," Kaoru snapped.

"Still bitter over Tybalt, I see."

Haruhi shrugged and walked away. Then Kaoru told Tamaki about his thoughts of suicide.

"I have a better idea, how about you fake death?"

The two talked over the plan and Kaoru nodded.

So it comes about, the wedding between Juliet and Paris was moved ahead to Wednseday, and Juliet had successfully drank the potion and was lying asleep, taken to be dead. There was meant to be a funeral instead of a wedding. News of this came to Romeo and he risked his life to see her again, buying poison at an Apothecary.

Romeo comes to her, and Paris thinks he is mistreating Juliet's grave and fights him.

Hikaru fake kills Haruhi and places her next to Kaoru's body. He sobs and drinks the poison **((Which is actually some chemicals Hikaru put together to make whoever drinks it unconcious for about 5 minutes))**.

"Romeo?" Kaoru whines as he sits up after he felt Hikaru's lips on his. Of course, there was a few squeals, but not many.

Kaoru sobbed as he saw Hikaru laying, dead. Of course, they were fake tears and Hikaru was faking death, but the scene was quite emotional. Kaoru leaned over and kissed Hikaru passionately and taken some of the chemicals off of Hikaru's lips and pretended to stab himself as the chemicals kicked in.

With the lights so dim, Nekozawa decided that he'd take the role of the prince. Kyoya, Tamaki, Mori, and Hunny arrive with Nekozawa and stared at the scene before them. Nekozawa had no cloak on, so everyone was wondering who "the cute guy" on the stage was. Haruhi took the role of the Friar. **((How Haruhi ended up there is a mystery, even to me... it's just magic, you know?))**

Haruhi explained what all had happened, and Nekozawa scolded the four men. Harshly. That ended their feud, once and for all.

**"For never was a story of more woe than this is of Juliet and her Romeo," **Nekozawa concluded for everyone.

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

I really don't know what to say. I'm speechless as to how the Host Club could make this all look so real! It's amazing!

I guess I can't really say anything more.

...One thing bugs me though, this tragic love story of Romeo and Juliet...

**Could it possibly actually relate to the twins more than anyone realizes?**


	25. Myself and Himself

We... used to joke around as children.

"I'm gonna marry you someday, Hikaru!" I'd joke sometimes.

Hikaru would always smile, laugh, and agree with me.

I miss those days.

"Why are you two so weird?" One kid asked us when we gotten into preschool. We'd just came there, and we didn't quite fit in that well because it was a public preschool so rich and common people sent their children there. Oh woe is me, we got sent there.

"Weird?" We both asked at the same time.

"Yes, weird, you never play with me," The kid argued right back at us. This was something new.

We had gone to the preschool for about two months now, no one had ever bothered talking to us. They all stared at us because we were twins, no one wanted to be our friends because we were mirror images. They were terrified of us, and I loved it.

"Kaoru doesn't need to play with anyone else," Hikaru replied. It shocked me and I stared at him for awhile, unaware of what message he was trying to bring across. "He has me, and I have him. We can be as weird as we want as long as we're together. As long as we have eachother we will never be fully weird."

Hikaru was... more mentally established than me.

"She's pretty," Hikaru said once.

More secure.

Hikaru stared at me and laughed, "Why can't mother give us a sister? Girl's are so pretty, I want one for my own."

So innocent.

"You mean our own?" I argued the moment I heard the word "my".

Hikaru looked at me again. With those sad eyes.

"No. For MY own."

It... kind of hit me then. Hikaru and I could never be together. He wasn't interested.

I realized that when he let go of my hand for the first time.

Hikaru.

He means the world to me.

That's... kind of funny actually. Hikaru is the world to me, for there was only two things in our cold, frozen, barren, and hateful world. Kaoru. Hikaru. Those were the only two things in our world. The bad things were Myself and Himself. They snuck in. They started to drag Hikaru away from me.

Those wretched creatures took him away from me.

Now, I hate myself. I cannot hate himself though, himself is the splitting image of Hikaru, not Kaoru. Myself is the image of Kaoru, not Hikaru. That scared me, it still scares me. It was those two words that broke our bond, little by little.

Haruhi just got the dull scissors and finally detached it.

I tried to fix it from my end, but I need Hikaru's help. However, one day, the roles might be switched on us.

"I hope you die," Some girl's older sister told us one year. "For talking to my sister like that, telling her she's ugly, that she could never find a place in your hearts. I don't see what you're talking about. I know now why she could never find a place in your hearts, because you don't even know where it is!"

That girl was the first person who made me cry. She was four years older than us.

Hikaru... was fascinated with her.

"It'll kill you if you stare too long," I tried to scare him, secretly afraid of what will happen.

I didn't know it conciously then, I'm only realizing it now.

We spied on mom and dad a lot as they watched those adult movies, it was so interesting. So intriguing. It interested Hikaru more, as he saw the man and the woman together. I got envious once, so I asked him, why not try it ourselves? So we did.

"I'll marry Kaoru one day," Hikaru had announced in the house when mom and dad were gone.

That's the first time we were seperated.

I didn't see Hikaru for a whole hour.

It felt like forever.

"Hey, Kaoru!" Tamaki had called to me once. "Hikaru can copy your voice pretty well."

I nodded to him. I didn't really want Tamaki, I wanted Hikaru.

"Can you copy Hikaru?"

"Of course I can!" I replied in Hikaru's voice. "It's not that hard!"

"Wow!" Tamaki gasped. "That's amazing! Do it again! Hikaru wants to-"

"Never in my damn life am I doing that again," I swore out loud.

Tamaki blinked in disbelief at me. "Why not?"

I never answered him that day. I did one day though.

"Hikaru's more majestic," I replied. "He does it so much better, there's so much magic in his voice, it's a sin to even try to copy that."

"You cherish your brother, don't you?" Tamaki whispered.

I cried to him.

I regret it.

I hate myself for it. I hate myself for everything. I don't like himself much either, but I love Hikaru.

To hold his hand again, to lay in bed with him again, to feel his soft skin, to feel his tongue as it hit mine when no one was looking. That play gave me so many things to remember, and remember them I will. I'll remember them on my dying day, as I lay there, moaning for my last breath. I wish Hikaru would be there, be by my side forever! For eternity! Until the end of time! That is a foolish wish though. Completely idiotic.

"You are my soul," I told him once.

"What?" He questioned back.

I admitted it, I told him I loved him, and he didn't even hear. Oh God, it makes me cry so hard sometimes. I get up a lot though, because someone told me something.

Haruhi taught me some valuable lessons when I was at her house, she heard them somewhere.

"I got these from this website," Haruhi told me.

_"Never give up, for around the corner, your life might change forever."_

_"When you step to the edge of all the life you have left and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you might believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to step upon, or you will learn how to fly."_

_"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."_

_"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you might be the world."_

Listening to Haruhi tell me these as they fit my situations, I couldn't help but smile, and I began thinking about Hikaru. How when we kissed, it was experimental love, it was never supposed to turn into anything else. It was our close version of brotherly love. I wasn't supposed to go past that. I wasn't supposed to desecrate the ground in our world and discover that blooming flower called love. I was never suposed to.

Why, Eros, did you shoot me when I was with my brother? You know that I never stop looking at him.

I made a quote of my own though.

_"While learning love I accidentally fell in love."_

_"At first I was pretending, but I know I really love you."_

I just... wish I could share these with him, with my darling Hikaru.

He means... the world to me.

The world in my definition is one word: Hikaru.

I wonder what his is? Probably this: Girls.

I hate people. No, I just dislike them. The only thing I hate is myself. Myself started all of this. Myself begged himself to come and try to desecrate our safekeeping, our stronghold. Himself listened to myself, and once himself and myself got in and attacked Hikaru and Kaoru, Hunny and Mori broke in from behind. Then Tamaki broke in. Then Kyoya... now Haruhi too. Nekozawa and Chris got in too... it's kind of funny. I'm really laughing now that I think about it. What do our walls look like now? It's not that hard to figure out... I see the walls in the mirror everyday. I'm what's left. The only thing keeping Hikaru from leaving forever... I hate himself. I hate myself. I can NEVER stress that enough.

Hikaru should've never learned how to talk.

I should've broke his legs.

Cut off his arms.

He could never leave me then. Hikaru would be mine. No himself, no myself. Just Hikaru and Kaoru together forever.

**Dammit, why did I fall in love with him?**


	26. I'm Not Blind

"I want to marry Kaoru," I told mom once.

She picked me up and locked me away. I don't know what happened to Kaoru that day. I sat alone in that room for so long.

It tore me apart.

I cried. I cried for the first time for real ever since our birth. Kaoru wasn't there.

I love him so much, Kaoru means everything to me. I'd never live without Kaoru. Without me, Kaoru would never live.

The first time Kaoru cried... I bawled. I sob every single time I see Kaoru cry, but I'd never tell him that. No way in the whole entire universe would I ever let Kaoru know how much I love Kaoru. If I told Kaoru how much I loved him, I'm afraid he'd hate me forever or at least not feel the same way back.

"I love you Kaoru," I whispered to him one night as I stroked his body. Oh, I love him so much.

He's such a horrible person. I love it.

Mostly, because I know what's really inside of his heart. I know what's really there, and it's kindness. I don't actually understand most of the metaphors Kaoru uses, for I suck at English really bad. So he helps me with my homework and I help him in school.

Kaoru... is something different.

He's not a girl.

Yet, he makes me feel all tingly inside everytime I see him. I just want to hug him and never let him go.

However, that sounds pretty girly, doesn't it?

"I'll never let those two fall in love," I heard mom tell dad one night.

"What do you mean?" He asked her. I peered around the corner and stared at them.

She shook her head. "Do you see the way they look at eachother? How close they are? They even still take baths together, and they're almost teenagers, that's not natural! We gotta get them to at least seperate a bit, give eachother a little breathing space, they are two people anyway."

"Do you see it?"

"Hmm?"

"We can't split them, the two will argue or pretend to hate eachother and make us feel bad. That's what they did when we tried to give one of them time outs for saying that they loved the other one and wanted to marry them," Dad explained.

Our parents groaned.

"I wanted grandchildren," My mom had sighed.

Kaoru... never did talk to mom and dad much. He even refused to say I love you.

That doesn't mean Kaoru hated them, he was just upset that they left us all the time. He got so happy and lively whenever mom and dad came home. They usually left shortly after though, and then Kaoru got bored.

"I hate you," Kaoru told me once as we sat together doing our homework when mom and dad were gone.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"I hate you," Kaoru scowled. "If I was an only child, mom and dad would pay attention to me more."

What scares me about that... is he meant it.

Kaoru really meant it!

He hates me.

I don't really... think things as clearly as Kaoru does. I never thought of our relationship as more than us against the world. I didn't think about the alternatives of our world of loneliness, I just knew that we were together. I never wanted it to change. Something about Kaoru though... it changed me.

"What are you doing?" I asked Kaoru as he sat on the toilet seat in the bathroom, doing nothing.

"...Hiding..." Kaoru whispered extremely quietly.

"From who?"

Kaoru looked away from me.

"Like it matters to you!" He hissed. "Just go away."

He was mad at me, I know that. Kaoru was angry because I had puberty before him. We were different for once. I tried my hardest to keep us the same.

"Kaoru, I'm really worried about you."

"Go away!"

"I'm your twin, I don't have to."

"You're Kaoru's twin!" Kaoru hissed at me.

I... still don't know what he meant by that... I know one thing though, I'm telling mom the next time I get to talk to her when Kaoru's not around.

**Kaoru needs therapy. REALLY bad.**


	27. Wish They'd Get Over It

**The Nineteenth Day**

"Where's Kaoru?" Everyone wondered as Hikaru sat alone in the Club, everyone conversing with their parents.

Hikaru ignored them.

"Where's Haruhi?" Tamaki wondered as he looked around.

"She's with-" Ranka started to reply then stopped. "Umm, that play was really good!"

Tamaki raised an eyebrow but didn't reply to the unspoken answer. "I know, didn't our heros do great?"

"Yes, Kaoru-kun and Hikaru-kun did very well," Ranka nodded.

A voice cut in, "Who decided my sons would be the main cast?"

"They did," Kyoya replied. "Mrs. Hitachiin."

Hikaru stared out the window and sighed.

"Hikaru?" Came his father's voice.

Hikaru glared at him, but didn't say anything.

"Hikaru?"

"What?" Hikaru snapped.

"Where's your brother?"

Hikaru shook his head, stood up, and left the room.

He walked along until he heard something, it was by the Black Magic Club.

"Oh? ...out now?" A muffled voice said. Nekozawa?

Hikaru walked closer to the door and hesitated as he was about to open it, then he decided not to and set his ear against the door.

"Yeah, but I want to know if I did the right thing," Kaoru's voice came.

"Do you feel like it?" Nekozawa's (?) voice came again.

"I don't know!" Kaoru groaned. "I really... I guess... I do like her, a lot, but I like him too."

Hikaru wondered, _Who are these people he's talking about?_

"I don't know what to do, Nekozawa-sama."

_He is talking to Nekozawa!_

Hikaru was curious as to what was going on, who they were talking about, and how Nekozawa and his brother had gotten close without him looking. Ecspecially the last one. Hikaru struggled, his hands urging to open the door in front of him that his fingertips were resting on.

"I honestly don't know what to do in your situation, Kaoru-kun," Nekozawa sighed. "I've never been in one of these situatio-"

"I bet no one has!" Kaoru shouted and he heard footsteps and Hikaru backed away from the door. Kaoru came out of the door quickly and he bent over slightly.

"K-" Hikaru was about to call his brother but covered his mouth and took a step back.

"Kaoru-kun, don't act like that," Nekozawa cooed as he appeared at the door. "I know what it's like to feel... well, I know kind of what it's like-"

"You don't know!" Kaoru sobbed. "No one does!"

"He probably does."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow. Who were they talking about?

"K-" Hikaru began to start again.

"I don't know what to do!" Kaoru sobbed as his knees latched and he collapsed into a sobbing mass on the floor. "I'm a wreck! I can't stand it anymore! I want to know if I'll ever get over it, or if I really need that person to survive..."

Nekozawa shook his head and sighed.

"Maybe you should find out if the person loves you back before you begin crying over them?" He huffed.

"Kaoru?" Haruhi wondered as she began walking over. "What's wrong?"

Kaoru shook his head and tried to stand up.

"N-nothing, Haruhi..."

Haruhi quickly skipped over and began helping Kaoru get up off the ground.

"You'll catch another cold," Haruhi scolded. "Then you can't go home and see Hikaru."

Kaoru chuckled, "I'm sorry Haruhi."

She smiled and whispered, "Can you stand now?"

Kaoru nodded and he regained his footing and wiped his shirt off. "Ahem, I'm so sorry for that, Nekozawa-sama."

"It's alright Kaoru-kun, really," Nekozawa reassured.

"Umehito," Kaoru replied as Nekozawa was about to touch his shoulders. "Can I call you that?"

Nekozawa looked shocked, but quickly recovered and nodded.

"Good."

Hikaru was tempted to make his presence known.

"I thought it was ironic, that Romeo and Juliet play," Nekozawa responded. "It fits you a lot more than Kirimi and I."

"Umehito? Can I see you sometimes even after you graduate?" Kaoru asked quietly.

"Sure, why not?"

Haruhi laughed, "He does have a point, that play really fit you two. Your parents were kind of annoyed that you two had TWO kissing scenes! I visited them for a little while, only, Hikaru wasn't there."

"Where is he?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

Kaoru sighed.

"I want to sleep at my house tonight, Haruhi, I want to see Hikaru," Kaoru announced.

"Oh, I see," Haruhi replied, looking a little hurt.

Kaoru shook his head. "You know that I can't... give you my entire feelings Haruhi."

Haruhi smiled and walked closer to Kaoru and held his hand in both of hers.

"We... are still going to the movies tomorrow night, right?" Haruhi questioned.

"Of course," Kaoru replied. "What kind do you want to see?"

"A horror movie."

Kaoru gulped and Nekozawa shook his head.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" The two replied. Nekozawa added, "It's just the last time Kaoru saw a horror movie with Tamaki he passed out."

"You passed out?" Haruhi inquired.

Kaoru looked away. "I feel sick, I'm going to ask mom and dad if I can go home. I mean, they're here for once!"

Haruhi squeezed his hand and asked, "For once?"

"Sometimes I think they missed our first steps," Kaoru replied quietly. "When they do show up, it feels like they're always here for Hikaru. After all, they can't tell the difference, so they think they're paying attention to a different twin every time. Do they even know which one I am?"

Haruhi gazed into his eyes solemnly.

"Of course."

Kaoru shook his head. "I still wish we were never siblings."

Kaoru took his hand back and he began to walk away. Nekozawa and Haruhi just stared after him.

"Cupid knows I never stop looking at that face," Kaoru replied a loud.

**

* * *

**

**Kyoya's POV**

Kaoru and Hikaru are getting along better, and Kaoru's starting to take the seperation better. Well, it all really depends on what you consider _better_ as. If you think it's as, not as depressed and keeping your emotions quiet, then yes, Kaoru has gotten better. Otherwise? In any other way, Kaoru's gotten worse. Let's not go over those though...

As the mother of three children I should point out that my children should not be falling in love with eachother. Kaoru and Hikaru should not love eachother, Haruhi should not love Kaoru or Hikaru, and the twins should not love Haruhi... but, that hasn't stopped them yet. The father is not supposed to be falling in love with his daughter either. Once upon a time, I thought maybe Tamaki was falling in love with Kaoru too, or maybe both twins. That's not true though... he does _love_ them, just not in the normal sense of love. He loves them as children. I guess to Tamaki, anything close to you is somehow related to you.

I find it an honor to be the mother, Mori and Hunny are just neighbors... I don't know though... couldn't Tamaki have changed me to a neighbor and Haruhi into his wife and keep the disobedient twins as his sons? I guess, it's a good thing to be a mom. Though, I wish I could kill Tamaki for giving me the damn name in the first place!

On the main topic I started with, I hope the twins can go back to being normal brothers again, or seperate. Somehow... I don't think that will ever happen. Kaoru and Hikaru will never be able to go back to just being _the twins. _I think Kaoru wishes they could go back to that, maybe even Hikaru wishes that himself... I know the twins love eachother, so why can't the other realize that?

**I **_**still**_** have Kaoru's sobs to Hikaru stuck in my head from that third day.**


	28. Warmth

**The Ninteenth Night**

"Where are you going?" Hikaru protested.

"On a date," Was Kaoru's only reply.

"With who?"

He didn't need to ask that question, he'd heard Haruhi and Kaoru discuss it, loud and clear. Hikaru just didn't want to believe it.

_Don't let him go, please._

Kaoru had already gotten his shoes on and was about to open the door, still without reply or even a simple shrug. It's like he forgot that Hikaru was even there, and that finally made Hikaru crack.

"Is it with Haruhi? I saw you guys talking earlier and-"

"What did you hear?" Kaoru asked as he quickly spun around.

"Huh?"

"WHAT. Did... you... hear?" Kaoru asked again, calming himself down a bit.

Hikaru shook his head. "You were talking about someone and then you and Haruhi were talking and everything. The last thing I know is you're talking about cupid! Who's this that you're in love with?"

_Is he for real?_ Kaoru wondered again and he sighed.

"Look, Haruhi and I are going out now, we have been for a couple days or so. It's just... the way things work now, I guess," Kaoru replied with a long, drawn-out sigh.

"Can I mess with the way it works?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru shook his head.

_"But she's cheating on you, so why can't you?" _That irritating voice came back.

"No."

Kaoru turned to leave when their parents showed up.

"Kaoru, darling, where are you going?" Their mom asked.

"Out."

The door slammed as Kaoru left the house and walked down the street towards Haruhi's house and the city. Hikaru felt a little, annoyed? Paranoid? Well, Hikaru didn't exactly know how he felt, but he definetly didn't want Kaoru leaving. Not when he was going to Haruhi's house, it'd be different if Kaoru was walking with Hikaru down that street, going into town to have their first real date. That squished Hikaru's insides. Kaoru was going out with Haruhi. Kaoru went on a date with Haruhi. Kaoru never went on a date with Hikaru.

He pushed on the door, his mind screaming to open it and run after Kaoru, tell him that Kaoru couldn't date Haruhi, that Hikaru loved Kaoru with all his heart and he couldn't bear living without Kaoru.

More words left unsaid, Hikaru went to bed.

**

* * *

**_**In Bed: Hitachiin Household**_

"Mom and dad were planning on giving us seperate bedrooms," Hikaru replied to Kaoru as Kaoru was taking off his shirt and pants and putting on his nightwear. "Can you believe that? Why... how could they even think of doing that to us?"

"Mom and dad said you went to sleep earlier," Kaoru retorted.

Hikaru stared at his brother, a little hurt.

"I tried to."

"Then why are you talking? People don't talk like that when they're asleep," Kaoru came back, snottily.

"I can't sleep without you," Hikaru answered.

"You did fine for the past few days!" Kaoru snapped as he turned around to look into Hikaru's eyes. Kaoru was taken back for a moment. Hikaru... looked different.

Hikaru smiled meekly and looked away, "Mom gave us her make-up skills, what can I say?"

Kaoru's heart and mind throbbed in pain. His whole body throbbed along with it. Kaoru slowly stepped closer to the bed and crawled onto it gently. He scooted closer to Hikaru and held his left hand in both of his own. Kaoru kissed Hikaru's cold fingers.

"You're sick," Kaoru answered.

Hikaru shook his head. "No I'm not."

Kaoru cackled and asked, amused, "Where's your proof for that?"

"You're not."

Kaoru held his breath and looked away with his eyes.

_I'm a sick a lot, and you're not. I just don't tell you, are you lying to me or yourself in that messed up, damn, little lie?_ Kaoru thought, softly. He was afraid that if he thought poorly and angrily of Hikaru, he'd hate him.

_I could _never_ hate those hands._

"How was... your date with Haruhi?" Hikaru choked. He smiled at Kaoru trying to hide the pain and hurt in his features.

"It was... scary," Kaoru admitted. "Haruhi didn't care."

Hikaru laughed for real this time and pulled Kaoru into a hug.

"Don't be scared, I'll scare away all your demons!" Hikaru comforted.

_What if you're my demon?_ _I don't want you to scare yourself away from me._

The warmth of Hikaru's body began to fade as Hikaru moved away to go put a shirt on, for he was starting to get cold. Hikaru was warm on the exterior, but cold on the inside. Kaoru knew that, that's how he knew Hikaru was sick. On the outside, Hikaru's body was burning. His heart was cold, like the inside.

"Did I freeze you?" Kaoru asked, hardly kidding.

"Excuse me?" Hikaru asked as he turned around, his shirt half on.

Kaoru shook his head. "Nothing."

Hikaru's hands were suddenly on Kaoru's shoulders and he pushed Kaoru down onto the bed, himself on top.

"Don't GIVE ME THAT!" Hikaru shouted at him.

"You'll wake-"

"I don't care!"

Kaoru stared into Hikaru's sleep-deprived and angry eyes.

"Do I hurt you that much?" Kaoru asked, horror obvious in his tone. "Do... I do that to you?"

Hikaru closed his eyes and placed his head on Kaoru's bare chest. "Yes."

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru, feeling akward. He wasn't sad, he felt... kind of happy? He was happy that Hikaru hurt over him... wasn't he? Why did Kaoru get so much joy in knowing that it was him who hurt Hikaru in the first place?

"I did that to you?" Kaoru asked.

Hikaru nodded, and Kaoru blushed at the texture of Hikaru's forehead on his skin.

"Could you... move please?" Kaoru questioned, a little embrassed.

"No."

Kaoru smiled and held himself back from stroking Hikaru's back.

"You're shirt's half on, silly boy," Kaoru teased. "Let me take it off, you'll feel better."

"I'm cold!" Hikaru argued.

Kaoru whispered into Hikaru's ear, "I'll keep you warm."

Hikaru shivered and Kaoru smiled and began pulling Hikaru's shirt off and put it down on the side of the bed.

"How do you feel?" Kaoru inquired.

"Cold," Hikaru scolded.

Kaoru smiled and wrapped his arms all around Hikaru and pulled Hikaru down so he lay flat on top of Kaoru. Kaoru blew on his hair.

"You know... it would be more comfortable if YOU were on bottom," Kaoru cooed.

"No way, you SM king," Hikaru laughed.

"Don't get me started."

Hikaru laughed and tried to get off Kaoru; Kaoru wouldn't let him move.

"Maybe I want to?" Hikaru whispered.

Kaoru smiled and moved Hikaru's lips closer to his when the door opened and light flooded into the room. The two jumped and remained in their position, like they were praying that if they stayed still they'd become invisible.

"Kaoru? Hikaru?" Their mom's voice came.

_We're dead,_ The two thought as they read the others exact same thought.

"What? Not in my house!" She scowled. "I've already told you two that!"

"What's going on now?" Their dad asked as he came into the doorway. "Hikaru, why are you on your brother, your legs around his, and your faces inches apart?"

"We both kno-!"

"Let them answer."

Their minds blanked and they said the first and only thing that they could think of, "I don't know."

"Why's your shirt on the side of the bed? Kaoru only in his boxers and Hikaru in his as well?" The voice grew stern.

_They misunderstood,_ They both realized. _They're misunderstanding! It was only going to be a kiss, not sex._

Hikaru sighed.

"Kaoru was going to put his pjs on and he came to comfort me, and then I went to put a shirt on and Kaoru took it off and-" Hikaru started to explain.

"So this is Kaoru's fault?"

The twins froze.

_Way to go,_ Kaoru scowled. _Now I'M in trouble._

_I didn't mean to Kaoru!_ Hikaru tried to explain.

_...sure you didn't._

"This is Kaoru's fault?" Their mom's voice came again, more stern like their father's was earlier.

"You don't understand!" The two replied at once.

Their mother sighed and shook her head. "Oh, I understand well you two, don't think I'm blind."

She walked over and pushed Hikaru off of Kaoru and brought Kaoru to the closet.

"Get something to keep you warm," She warned as Kaoru finished dressing in the warm garments she gave him. "We'll discuss this in the morning young man, but until then, I have to do something about you two, and I think I know what to do."

Kaoru huffed and shook his head. "I'm warm enough."

That was that.

She stuck Kaoru outside.

"What? This isn't fair!" Kaoru protested as chills ran down his spine. If he knew he was going to have to sleep outside he would've brought a pillow, a blanket, or an extra sweater or something. _Or Hikaru, he'd keep me warm._

"We'll talk in the morning."

The door was shut. Kaoru was locked outside.

Kaoru was sad, cold, and furious.

"This isn't fair," Kaoru pouted and thought back to their room. "It's all Hikaru's fault!"

Anger surged through Kaoru's body and he walked over to a tree and dashed his toes into it.

"It's all HIKARU'S FAULT!" Kaoru shouted. He ran his foot into it, again and again, until he thought he felt blood oozing through his toes. Kaoru sobbed and slumped against the tree. "It's all Hikaru's fault... for everything. He started this..."

Kaoru chokes and sobs trailed off and he slumped, pitifully.

"I ran away, they'd think different," Kaoru sniffed. "They would, they all would. Mom and dad wouldn't work all the time, just to make sure that I wouldn't run away again. They'd take time off of work just to come find me, even. Hikaru would... Hikaru would..."

Kaoru tried to think of something reasonable.

"He's such a drama king, and he gets mad and furious and depressed whenever ANYONE touches me, so I don't know what he'd do... die?"

His thoughts trailed off.

"Die."

That word was so bittersweet on his tongue, so fresh on his lips. It stung his mind to think about death, it baffled even the most famous and intellegent scholars. That single syllabled word baffled everyone, yet it tasted so sweet on Kaoru's mouth and thoughts.

"Die, death, kill, suicide, they all have that ring," Kaoru whispered and smiled as he felt the way the words rolled off of his tongue. He repeated them a bit more, laughing at how they made his tongue tingle. "Those are good words, aren't they?"

"Juliet died, didn't she? Romeo died too, right?" Kaoru asked himself, his eyes a little glazed over and he looked at the moon, that was so high up in the sky. "Isn't Hades the God of the Underworld? I wish I could meet whoever ran the dead, I want to know what would happen to me if I died. Would I go through eternal suffering, like hell, or eternal bliss and happiness, like heaven?"

Kaoru closed his eyes.

"Romeo, oh romeo. Wherefore is my Romeo?" Kaoru whispered and opened his eyes and looked up at the house and felt full of anger again and shouted at the house. "Locked in his room all warm and HAPPY!"

He slammed his fist into the ground.

"All happy..." Kaoru seethed. "We're twins! So why the hell am I NOT HAPPY?"

Kaoru was getting worked up, and it hurt so bad to think about anything, the cold nipped at his nose, telling him that global warming was a lie, that it was more like global freezing. Kaoru closed his eyes and rubbed his arms. Kaoru tried to calm himself down, but the cold kept stirring up his blood.

"Sore ga bokura no love style," Kaoru whispered to himself. "That is our love style."

"It'll never change," Came that voice Kaoru hated yet loved so much. "Never ever. Well, it might get a little more passionate."

"Hikaru?"

The boy's cold body sat next to Kaoru, Kaoru stared at the constand and often amount of large shivers running down Hikaru. Hikaru didn't have a coat on or anything, just his shirts, boxers, and pants. No socks or coat.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru scowled as he pulled Hikaru close and they stretched out Kaoru's sweater and huddled under it, staring at their breath as it turned into white puffs as it respirated from their mouths. After a while, Kaoru laughed and scolded, "What do you think you're doing?"

"I can't let you sleep out here alone," Hikaru replied. "I can't sleep without you. Plus, you said you'd keep me warm, I'm not very warm."

Kaoru smiled and turned Hikaru and they sat, face to face, their body's so close they could hear the other's heart beat, and even feel it. This wasn't just because they were twins either. Kaoru smiled and wrapped his arms around Hikaru and huddled up against the tree, with Hikaru's legs entwined with his at the sudden movement Kaoru caused. Kaoru laughed as Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and Kaoru kissed Hikaru and they sat there like that until one of them needed to breath. They smiled and laughed.

"Feeling... any warmer?"

Hikaru smiled and nodded. "Definetly."

Kaoru smiled and huddled closer to Hikaru this time, instead of the tree. He loved how warm Hikaru was right now.

"I'm tempted to just push my hands up your shirt to feel your warm skin, the skin is warmer than the clothes," Kaoru teased, hoping to make Hikaru blush.

He succeeded, but got a reply unexpected. He was thinking Hikaru'd say, _"You SM king!"_

"If you want to, you can."

Kaoru blushed and smiled slightly and nuzzled his nose into Hikaru's arm.

"I'm cold," Kaoru admitted.

"Let love keep us warm," Hikaru replied.

Kaoru smiled. He wasn't sure Hikaru meant what Kaoru was thinking. He nodded.

"Love love?" Kaoru laughed, pretty sure Hikaru would push him away, for he didn't think his brother would ever think of him like that.

But Hikaru was.

**

* * *

**

**Hikaru's POV**

Ma kicked Kaoru out of the house, for I messed up on explaining why we were laying in a _sexual_ pose on the bed with only our boxers on. They thought it was all Kaoru's fault, and they wouldn't allow us acting like that in the house. Maybe they know about our various moments of sex when they were gone? Oh god, please don't them know about THAT! They can know that we bathe together again, but don't let them know about _that._

I left the house to go join Kaoru. Besides, ma said we couldn't in her house. We're not in the house anymore.

So I can do what I want... but I don't think I will. Kissing him is enough, feeling his warmth is enough. I lied to him and told him I was cold when we were outside together. I wasn't cold in the least as I felt his skin rub against my bare arms. The sweater was all he was wearing on his upper body, so I got to be with him under the sweater because he wanted to keep me warm. He didn't have to do that. I'm kind of glad he did.

I feel closer to Kaoru now for some reason.

**I just love that feeling.**


	29. I Wanna Marry The Guy Who Ran That Way

**The Twentieth Day**_** 6:00 AM**_

"Hikaru?" Mrs. Hitachiin called as she walked through the hallways, looking for her missing son. She had seperated her sons the night before, and she couldn't find her son who stayed inside the house. "Hikaru? Where are you?"

"Maybe Kaoru-sama would know?" Some maids suggested.

She sighed and decided to check out on him.

"Kaor-"

Her eyes moved to the huddled twins, shivering and pale faced.

"Kaoru! Hikaru!" She shouted as she dashed over and kneeled infront of them. She felt their foreheads, they were burning despite the rest of their body. Kaoru shivered and shivered, his bare shoulder was exposed as he struggled in his sleep, the sweater becoming too tight and some flaps of it were under Hikaru's heavy body. "Wake up you two! Please!"

"Mmm, kaaza?" Kaoru groaned as he opened his eyes. "What's going on? Is it time for breakfast?"

"You... can't remember?" She asked in disbelief.

"What? Remember what? Why am I so c-co-cold?" Kaoru chattered.

His mother laid her hands on his face.

"Wake Hikaru up," She warned.

"What?"

Kaoru thought back to the previous night and his pale face suddenly flushed and he burst to life.

"Hikaru! Wake up! It's morning!" Kaoru suddenly shouted at his sleeping twin. "HIKARU!"

Hikaru groaned and pulled his hands tighter around Kaoru. "Shut up..."

"Hikaru! Mom wants us up!" Kaoru scowled.

"MOM!" Hikaru shrieked as his eyes shot open. He stared into his mother's eyes and tried to keep his calm. "H-hi, what's up with you?"

"I want to talk to you," She growled.

**

* * *

**_**In The Living Room With Family**_

"What did you two think you were doing? Sleeping out there like that?" Their mother scowled.

"You sent me out there," Kaoru whimpered.

"That was different, I was going to bring you anything you needed if you asked for it."

The twins looked at eachother and squeezed the others hand.

"I want to marry Kaoru," Hikaru responded like he did when they were younger.

Kaoru almost forgot how old he was, he thought it was so unreal.

The parents looked at eachother.

"Not as my children."

"I don't care, I want to marry Kaoru," Hikaru continued.

"Kaoru? How do you feel about this?" Their father asked as everyone's gaze slowly moved to him.

Kaoru was in tears and he hugged his brother, sobbing and sobbing into his brother's chest.

"But I have a girlfriend."

Hikaru laughed at how childish his brother sounded.

"I love you," Hikaru confessed quietly.

Kaoru sniffled and took his head up and he rubbed his eyes and looked at his mom and dad.

"I want... to... marry Hikaru," Kaoru choked.

"For..." Their mom started to cuss but stopped herself. "You're in tenth grade!"

"We know."

Hikaru pulled Kaoru towards him, possessively.

"He's mine," Hikaru answered.

This made Kaoru smile and he closed his eyes.

"Not in my house!" Their mom argued. "Not EVER in my house!"

"Then we'll run away," The twins countered. "Who needs a family anyway?"

The parents stopped and just stared at the twins. Kaoru tried to keep himself from crying again.

"You WILL stay here, then. Just... don't kiss when I'm looking, please. Keep it secret too."

"Yes mom," Hikaru agreed.

Kaoru felt anger surge through his body.

He pushed away from Hikaru and stormed out of the house.

"KAORU!" Their mom shouted and ran over to the door and stared out at him. "Where are you going? I said you could stay!"

_Hikaru this; Hikaru that. Get out of my life._ Kaoru swore at himself. _Just leave me alone. Can't I be normal for a day? Without a twin that shares my face, to live without having nightmares and being scared everytime I look in a new direction or talk to a new person!_

"Did you hear me?" She shouted at him.

Anger boiled and rushed through his veins.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Kaoru yelled as he started to run. He didn't know where he was going as he pushed past the thousands of people on the sidewalks. He didn't know as his chest began to hurt and oxygen became scarce; he didn't know, and he didn't care. Eventually, as Kaoru past another park his legs gave out and he hit his head against a tree. Kaoru clenched his teeth. "So trees hate me now too?"

Kaoru sat normally and took his shoes off, knowing he was surrounded by the protection of trees. He stared at his feet, they were still healing from the burning water and there was new, pink skin all over the feet, and now there were cuts all over. They hurt and were bruised as well.

"From running, burning, and dashing," Kaoru answered, like someone wanted an explanation. "Those poor feet."

Kaoru sighed.

"Hikaru loves these feet..."

Anger and sadness surged through his veins and he began sobbing.

"WHY? WHY GOD? Why couldn't we be friends, not twins? He could still look like me, just not related. Why couldn't I be a female, even? Then..." Kaoru sobbed. He punched the ground making his hand begin to throb and bleed as he punched a sharp twig. "Then I'd have a family that loved me and I'd be able to be in love with him. I actually would be able to marry him because we'd be different genders and from different family names..."

Kaoru began sobbing and struggling to breath again.

"Am I some kind of joke?"

He brought his bloody hand to his face and he cried out again.

"Do you enjoy it when I hurt? Are you like Hikaru?"

His sobs slowed and he stared through his bloody fingers at the ground, full of sharp and dead twigs.

"Are you like everyone else?"

**

* * *

**

**Kaoru's POV**

I'm... kind of lost. I've been lost for about five hours now. I can't find my way out of this forest, and I keep getting angry and depressed. I hate this, why did I run away in the first place? Hikaru wanted to marry me again! We're not little eight year olds anymore... I don't know...

It wouldn't work out, Hikaru'd leave me again. I have anger issues now.

Hikaru's the same.

I'm not... I always misinterpreted it and thought he was changing.

Hikaru's always loved me from a distance, I suppose. I just want his strong arms to comfort me, to guide me home. I want my Hikaru.

My Hikaru's not here.

**I have to learn he can't always be there, and that might be the death of me.**


	30. I Love You

**The Twentieth Day**_** Park**_

"You guys have to help me!" Hikaru begged on his knees infront of Kyoya and Tamaki.

"Why? What's wrong?" Kyoya asked, angry. "I sleep late, and you woke me up. This better be good."

"Kaoru ran away."

Everyone gasped and stared at Hikaru like Kaoru was going to jump out somewhere and say they tricked them. They waited for a whole ten minutes, and no such thing happened. Now everyone was worried.

"Seriously?" Hunny asked.

Hikaru nodded.

"He got mad. I don't know why."

"Mad? Kaoru?" Mori questioned.

Hikaru nodded and he began sobbing.

"I don't know what's wrong with him!" Hikaru sobbed. "He cries all the time, he doesn't stop staring at me and it's driving me mad!"

Haruhi stood still for a moment, deep in thought. "Did you... ever tell Kaoru how you felt?"

"What?" Everyone questioned as they turned to look at Haruhi. "How does Hikaru feel about Kaoru?"

Haruhi ignored them.

"Yeah, last night and this morning," Hikaru replied, a bit red in the face and his eyes were still wet from crying. "Mom got mad and then Kaoru got really upset and he ran out of the house. He just bolted, he yelled at us to leave him alone and that's the last I saw of him. He ran off into this area."

Haruhi nodded. "Kaoru's lost."

Tamaki nodded his head and stared at Haruhi. "Please don't mind me asking, but how do you know this?"

"Kaoru's always getting lost," Hikaru and Haruhi replied, Haruhi shrugging her shoulders.

"So, don't you have a freaky twin thing with Kaoru?" Tamaki asked Hikaru.

Hikaru shrugged.

"I dunno how it works."

"Make it work soon," Kyoya budged in. "The temperature is dropping fast."

**

* * *

**_**Somewhere... with Kaoru**_

"DOES THIS DAMN FOREST HAVE AN END?" Kaoru shouted as he slumped next to a tree. "First I lose my shoes to a stray rabid dog, then my cell runs out of minutes, and now I'm lost!"

Kaoru shook his head and moaned.

"I want Hikaru..." Kaoru cried.

_When we're apart, he's the first thing on my mind,_ Kaoru realized as he sat there.

Something nudged his back.

"Now what the hell is it?" Kaoru snarled as his shirt was pulled off. Kaoru turned around to see a shirtless and dirty person. "Give me back my shirt."

The person shook their head and began running away.

Kaoru scowled, "There must be some shelter if a hobo's this far off."

"GIVE ME MY SHIRT!" Kaoru shouted as he began to get up and run after the man. Immense pain grasped around Kaoru's ankle and he fell, he turned over to see a trap caught him, luckily a thick layer of twicks seperated the sharpest parts, but he was still bleeding.

Kaoru leaned back and laid his head on the ground and began to sob.

"I hate you!" Kaoru shouted. "I hate you, God!"

He began sobbing and lay there, crying and crying. He sobbed out, "I lost my shoes, I lost my cellphone, I lost my shirt, I lost my ability to walk, and I'M LOST! ARE YOU HAPPY YET? Are... you happy yet?"

Kaoru sobbed and sobbed, and continued sobbing as he felt a pressure on his feet. He couldn't see anything, or hear anything, he just couldn't stop sobbing.

"Kaoru!" A voice finally came through. "Kaoru? You okay?"

Kaoru blinked and he stared at his brother's face.

"I can't get your foot out."

Kaoru closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Then leave me here or something, don't wake me up just to realize I'm truly damned," Kaoru scowled and began sobbing a bit before. "I'm stuck without a shirt, shoes, or phone!"

"I already called your parents and some medics," Kyoya butt in.

Kaoru sighed and clenched his teeth and tried to breath; the throbbing pain made Kaoru cringe and struggle. He tried to pull out of the trap.

"Get me out," Kaoru groaned, huffing. "Get me out of this."

Hikaru began crying and he grabbed Kaoru in a hug.

"He'll be okay, right?" Hikaru sobbed.

Kyoya shook his head, "I don't know."

Kaoru hugged Hikaru back and he continued huffing and trying to breath. He broke into sobs again and he tried to nuzzle his head into Hikaru's neck. Kaoru huffed and huffed and Hikaru cringed and shivered at Kaoru's rough, warm breath. Hikaru and Kaoru began going into deep, drawn out sobs. Kaoru pulled around Hikaru closer and Hikaru began to get up a bit, his hands leaving Kaoru's back.

"W-where are you going?" Kaoru asked uncertainly.

Hikaru shook his head, "We need to go find the paramedics, they might not be able to find us in this remote area."

Kaoru began sobbing as he layed back down.

"Don't leave me, Hikaru. Don't leave me alone, again."

Hikaru looked at the rest of the group, longingly, as if he was begging to stay with Kaoru. Kyoya finally nodded in agreement.

The group left and Hikaru hunched down onto his knees and he ran his finger along the line of blood on Kaoru's ankle. He smiled and tried to pull the trap apart, Kaoru groaned and shrieked, but Hikaru kept trying to pull the trap off.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru shrieked. "Stop it!"

"You need to get this off, it doesn't look like it's gotten too-" Hikaru started to explain when the trap snapped.

"HIKARU!" Kaoru screamed as some twigs snapped and the sharp edges cut farther into Kaoru's ankle. He began sobbing and struggling to move. "Please, leave me alone. Leave me alone... it hurts..."

Hikaru scooted over to Kaoru's head and began stroking his face with his hand.

_Those smooth fingers._

"...It hurts...!"

Hikaru brought his lips closer to Kaoru's and they sucked on eachother's lips and their tongues touched a couple times. Kaoru still cried and he kept moving and struggling, his arms wrapped around Hikaru. Pain throbbed through Kaoru's mind and he couldn't think straight, things began to distort a bit and he began to sweat a bit and Kaoru laughed. Hikaru raised an eyebrow and asked him what was so funny.

"I don't know..." Kaoru laughed, sounding a bit psychotic. "Just thank God you're here! How did you find me?"

"You told me."

"I've been here for about two hours now."

Hikaru's eyes widened and he suddenly looked away and smiled and he leaned up, Kaoru's hands still on his arms.

"Oh, yeah, of course," Hikaru chuckled. "I was just kidding. Dumb luck, I guess."

Kaoru sighed and tried to calm his heart.

"Don't leave me again."

Hikaru shook his head. "I don't ever plan on it."

Kaoru smiled and huffed again, blood oozing off of his foot.

"Good, please don't ever even think of it, please don't," Kaoru huffed.

"Why... did you run away?" Hikaru finally asked the question burning at his mind for hours. "I really want to know."

Kaoru sighed and whispered, "It's just... everything is always about you. I don't have a normal life because of you. I can't even marry you or love you, you're my brother, my TWIN brother. I'm not supposed to feel this way about you. Mom and dad would easily throw me out of the house, but they'd make up some dumb excuse to keep you inside. Haruhi's always worried about you when you're sick, but never about me. I just... I just hate it. I can't stop thinking about you. It's always about you, you're everything. I can't think of anything else. I can't ever escape you, no matter how hard I try."

"You want to get rid of me?"

Kaoru nodded.

"Why?"

"I love you, so much."

Hikaru blinked and smiled. "You never told me that."

"I was so afraid, you wouldn't love me back."

He laughed and put his forehead to his brothers, "We are so twins, it's obvious now. We feel the exact same about-"

"No we don't, don't talk to me like that," Kaoru scowled. "We're not the same, we're different. Why can't you understand that?"

Hikaru smiled. "Okay, I guess we're different, but we're alike in a lot of ways, none-the-less."

Kaoru laughed and closed his eyes again and his breathing slowed.

"I... can't stay awake any longer."

"You're sick, stay awake."

"I can't."

"You can!" Hikaru countered.

Kaoru laughed and whispered, "I can't..."

His breathing slowed to a sleeping persons and his face became still.

"If you get amnesia when you wake up," Hikaru teased, even though he knew no one was listening. "I'm going to tell you that you're my slave, my sex slave..." Hikaru stopped and smirked. "You know what THAT means."

"You SM king," Kaoru whispered.

"You're awake?"

"You told me to stay awake," Kaoru groaned as he opened his eyes. "You told me. I listen."

Hikaru smiled.

"I should go back to sleep and when I wake up, pretend I have amnesia," Kaoru chuckled. "I like your idea."

Hikaru's hand brushed across Kaoru's pale, burning cheek.

"You don't have to have amnesia for me to love you."

**

* * *

**

**Kyoya's POV**

I feared it, and... it came true.

Kaoru likes Haruhi, and they went out. Only, Hikaru loves Kaoru and Kaoru loves Hikaru. Hikaru and Kaoru now know the other like eachother. Kaoru went to the hospital and their birth parents were going to take time off to watch them... only dumb Tamaki volunteered me and him to watch and take care of the twins while Kaoru was sick. So their parents left and now I'm stuck with them. My two sons.

Kaoru doesn't stop crying, and I'm trying to find new ways to comfort him. Tamaki changed Kaoru's name.

Apparently, I have two daughters now. One son.

Boy, is this annoying. I'm trying to comfort my daughter while Tamaki is helping our son getting things made up for us. Why the hell did I get this job? I mean, Tamaki talks to Kaoru better and more easily than I do.

"Be good to your sister, she's my daughter, and I don't want any boy making her cry," I heard Tamaki scold Hikaru.

**Oh, Dear God, how do I know these people?**


	31. The Diary

**The Twentyfirst Day**

"You guys can go, mommy and daddy said that Hikaru could take care of me," Kaoru explained as he sat down in the living room with Tamaki, Kyoya, and Hikaru. Kaoru had his new cellphone in his hand and was trying to get Kyoya and Tamaki to leave so he could be alone with Hikaru. Kaoru had begged his mother the night before when no one noticed, so technically Kaoru wasn't lying when he was explaining this. "Come on guys, give us a break. You can even call them and ask."

Kyoya shook his head and responded, "No reason to bug them, come on Tamaki."

"What? But I wanted to take care of our daughter!" Tamaki insisted.

Kyoya growled and turned around and glared at Tamaki. He snapped, "Then YOU take care of him! I'm not doing this if I don't have to, understand this? If you can't, then you'll understand when I walk out of this house, never to return unless I NEED to! Understand THAT much?"

Tamaki gulped and nodded his head, afraid of angering Kyoya even more. Kyoya had fallen asleep on the Hitachiin's couch at about five A.M. so he was really upset when he was woken up at around seven, he told them that he'd only gotten two hours of sleep, but they didn't listen to him. No one seemed to listen to Kyoya when someone's life was on the line, or something "valuable" was about to pass them by. Kyoya thought they were all idiots and imbeciles, but he didn't want Kaoru getting sick.

After all, Kaoru was the Hitachiin's son.

Kyoya wouldn't admit that he cared about Kaoru like a daughter or son. He'd never admit in public or even to a stuffed animal. He did though, he cared about his three children a lot, and if anything bad happened to them, he'd be the first to leap into action. He'd think of an excuse while working so that no one could say that his was emotions. As far as Kyoya was concerned, emotions were bad and got in the way, and everyone would be better without them.

So, Kyoya stormed out of the house. Tamaki looked at the twins as they huddled on a couch.

"You? A doctor?" Tamaki seemed to tease. "You'll kill my daughter if you take care of her, you can't even put a band-aid on."

"You can't even boil tea," Hikaru threatened. He smiled as he remembered when Tamaki was trying to make tea for Haruhi's dad to make up for being found on top of his daughter. "Don't you think that I'd be better at taking care of my darling Kaoru than you?"

Tamaki scowled.

"We'll get a doctor."

"I hate doctors," The twins chimed.

Tamaki shook his head and stood up and walked out of the house.

"Have it your way!"

Kaoru smiled and snuggled up to Hikaru. Kaoru was hoping for this, which was why he spent a whole hour begging his mother to let Hikaru take care of him. Karou couldn't stand the way that Tamaki and Kyoya treated him, like he was an actual teenager. He liked how Hikaru treated him, like a baby who couldn't do anything on it's own. Couldn't bathe on it's own, eat, dress, or sleep even. Hikaru never let Kaoru do anything when he was sick, Kaoru loved it. Kaoru loved Hikaru hovering over him every minute, never let their hands stop touching, or never letting their legs stop touching, or their arms. Hikaru wouldn't let Kaoru out of his site, even when Kaoru was sleeping.

Now Kaoru couldn't even walk without Hikaru, Kaoru liked this best. Hikaru had to pick Kaoru up and carry him to the area he needed to go to. Hikaru even did this bridal style to ease the pressure and pain on his poor brother, Kaoru. Kaoru could limp, but Hikaru wouldn't let him. Kaoru was never let out of Hikaru's site or touch, and when he was or Hikaru forgot about him, Hikaru spazzed, trying to find him. Kaoru did this someimtes just to know that Hikaru still loved him.

Kaoru doubted Hikaru even knew that Kaoru loved him. He knew that he had said he wanted to marry him infront of his parents, but did Hikaru think it was just a joke? Hikaru was worrying the same thing about Kaoru.

"I love you," Hikaru cooed as they snuggled in the bed, the room dark, for their mid-day nap.

"I love you too."

The two weren't sure what kind of love the other one felt towards them. Kaoru reached forward and gripped the side of Hikaru's abdomen. He snuggled his face into the crook of Hikaru's neck and the other arm was under the pillow, holding Hikaru's mirror hand. The two repeated the gesture, the only difference between the two peaceful forms was that Hikaru's head wasn't in the crook of Kaoru's neck.

"You know, people always think you're the weaker," Hikaru finally broke the silence.

"Mm, maybe I am?" Kaoru yawned.

Hikaru shook his head. "No, I mean... like... you're the... well, like I'm the dominant."

Kaoru raised an eyebrow and shook his head.

"Boy, it's like, they actually know that we have sex or something," Kaoru laughed.

Hikaru kissed his brother's head and whispered in reply, "Maybe they just _think_ we do and don't _know_ we do. It's possible, with all those Otakus like Renge. It scares me sometimes. When we have sex though, don't we switch who's dominant?"

Kaoru's grip tightened and he shut his eyes tighter, a blush going across his face.

"Don't talk about sex please."

Hikaru laughed, "Fine, have it your way, princess."

Kaoru smiled and loosened his grip and calmed a bit.

_He doesn't love me the way I love him. Not really, he just pretends he does to make me feel better,_ Both twins thought at the same time.

Oh, they're just like children. So naive.

**

* * *

**_**Hitachiin Household: Later**_

"Kaoru's taking a nap on the couch?" Haruhi inquired as she sat on the twins' bed with Hikaru. She shook her and sighed a bit, almost like this was something she should've suspected. "Well, I guess I should leave then?"

Hikaru smiled sadly and nodded a bit, then shook his head.

"I don't know... what're you looking at?"

Hikaru walked over and sat on the bed next to Haruhi, reading a notebook.

"What's this?" Hikaru and Haruhi questioned.

_

* * *

_

_"I don't really know when my view on him first changed. Maybe it was when we were younger and in the bathtub. It was the first I noticed how his skin tingled under my fingertips, how his eyes glowed and shined when he looked at me, the way he was happy around me. My life seemed to wither whenever he was sad or not smiling. He didn't smile much. So I guess that's what messed me up. Haha, but I remember everything: the way his leg felt, his face, the way those eyes glinted and gleamed, and the way his lips felt against my skin. It was so hard to deal with, those lips. They were like swearing the oath on the bible in court, I just couldn't lie to them._

_My sweet, Hikaru. I can never tell him how I feel, because it would never work out. You see, we're brothers, the same age, twins if you will. I love him so much, so much more than he can ever return. I can never tell him, and I'm finally starting to accept that. I know he's going off and falling in love. That's alright, as long as he's happy. My only problem is that when our carriage turns back into a pumpkin, how can I survive?_

_I still remember the first time our lips touched. It was on accident, but it's like my nicotine. I just can't get enough of it, it's what I need for my mind to truly experience pleasure, I need those lips on mine, that smooth, soft skin next to mine. I know it's wrong, I know it's bad to have sex with your twin, your relative, someone the same sex as you, but I couldn't help it. He was asking so many questions. We knew how a boy and a girl fit together, but how did a man and man fit together? We... tested it out. It was addictive. It's always been addictive to me. To feel the pounding of your heart._

_I can never tell him that though. I can never let him find this. He's my brother._

_He'll never love me back. I'm his subsitute, when we have sex, it's because he's testing things out. It's not like he actually wants to be with me. Hikaru wants children, hell, I bet he even wants kids like Lex! I don't ever want children. Children are too much to deal with. I love them, sure, but I don't want any of my own. Maybe I'll adopt some. I don't want children because I'm afraid they'll end up like me, or worse, they'll be twins. I don't want twin children, that'd be horrible. I don't want anyone else to feel this pain. I want to get rid of this, to not be siblings with this man anymore, to be a female even._

_He'd love me then, I hope._

_I just want him. Nothing else matters to me, I can't stop thinking about him. He never leaves my mind. He's like a drug, you can't stop thinking about it until you have it, and then it's gone, and you need more. You have to get it back. You need more than what's given to you. That's what Hikaru is to me. He's my drug, it's how I live, it's how I stay sane. Sometimes I even doubt I'm sane. I guess, Hikaru's what keeps me from blowing my top off, what keeps me so calm._

_Those strong, warm arms. That soothing breath and majestic voice, that smooth and magnificent hair, the smooth skin. I just... can't get enough of him. Just to think, he'd be all mine if only himself didn't get in the way. If myself didn't get in the way. I still regret it. I just regret it all so badly._

_Hikaru hasn't had sex with me lately, but it's all I want, to feel that body next to mine again, all warm..."_

* * *

Haruhi had already stopped reading, she didn't want to see anymore. 

"It's not graphic, Haruhi," Hikaru laughed. "You freak!"

"Lex-chan's downstairs, I should see her," Haruhi excused herself as she ran out, her face burning red.

Hikaru laughed and stared at the text in front of him again. Kaoru's inner thoughts, the thoughts that Hikaru hadn't been able to get into contact with, lately. He loved reading this, it was like Kaoru's diary. Reading Kaoru's diary was a fun pasttime for Hikaru, until Kaoru hid it better and Hikaru hadn't seen it since. Maybe this was Kaoru's diary and he'd just forgotten to put it away? Hikaru scanned the page, looking for a signature, and sure enough, it was at the very end of the long entry. Hikaru smiled, he'd just found Kaoru's diary, and what was in it was like heaven to Hikaru's eyes. He found his spot and began reading it again.

_

* * *

_

_"...and sweaty, I just can't help but blush and cringe. His eyes and voice, so calming. It's like, he just overpowers me. He's the only person in the whole world who can do that to me, and he shares my face. But we're not the same, not in the least, Hikaru's much different than me. I wish he wasn't. Sometimes I wish we were like one person again._

_Hikaru stopped having sex once we joined the Host Club. He's said he'd do it again, a few times. It's... never happened._

_I ran away and got my foot caught in a trap when I was running after a hobo that stole my shirt. I really want that shirt back, I guess it's because a strange, random person took it that makes me want it so badly. There's nothing _special _about it, I guess, I just want it. It's like, once somebody else has my stuff, it suddenly becomes extremely valuable, almost enough to cry over. I know Hikaru's worth crying over._

_'I want to marry Kaoru,' Hikaru had told mom and dad. Oh, I'd love it if he kept to those words. If he married me. We could adopy a child, or help Haruhi take care of her children, or babysit Lex even! I don't know, I've kind of taken a liking to the little horror. I wish life was simple._

_I wish life was as easy as sex, call me perverted, but it's true. Sex is easy and carefree, and it's with the person you love usually. That's how life should be, should it not? I want my life to be with Hikaru and I want it to last forever. Be immortal maybe! Hikaru and I could be evil dicators, watching everyone suffer._

_Hikaru wouldn't stand for that though..._

_I guess, not everything's perfect. Even twins._

_It would've been perfect if Cupid hadn't decided to be an ass and shoot me when I was a child. I NEVER stop looking at Hikaru! So, naturally, I fell in love with him. I fell in love with his body, his voice, his hair, his soul, and most of all, his body. Oh, I said that already, didn't I? I don't know, I just love his body so much, so smooth and it reflects his soul well. It's like God spent years on creating Hikaru and perfecting him. Then he found a rag doll and made it looked as much like Hikaru as a rag doll could, and call it Kaoru._

_I really should be going now, my foot is starting to hurt, and I miss Hikaru already._

_Sincerely,_

_Kaoru Hitachiin"_

* * *

Hikaru smiled as he read the finishing of Kaoru's journal entry. He laughed and closed it and put it under the matress, where he'd never looked before for Kaoru's diary. So, that's probably where Kaoru hid it. Hikaru now had ideas on how to make his darling brother happy. One was pretty obvious. 

"Kaoru!" Hikaru called as he began walking down the stairs.

Lex and Haruhi sat, laughing on the other couch as they threw random fruits at Kaoru. Kaoru moaned and rolled over.

"If I could walk, I'd kill you," Kaoru moaned.

"Kaoru," Hikaru scowled as he walked down and touch Kaoru's head, feeling no difference in their temperatures.

"He has a fever," Lex reported.

Hikaru frowned, that meant he had a fever too. He wouldn't use this excuse until Monday so he could get out of school and stay home with Kaoru, unless someone said it was okay for Hikaru to stay home and watch Kaoru. Hikaru found it odd, that they were both sick. He wasn't about to say anything about it though.

"It's nap time, Kaoru," Hikaru cooed. "Come on."

Kaoru moaned and groaned as Hikaru scooped him up. Haruhi and Lex left, laughing and giggling. Now Kaoru glared at Hikaru with his sick and angry eyes and he scowled, "We just finished nap time!"

Hikaru smiled as he walked into their room and shut the door with his foot and locked it after he put Kaoru down on the bed. He walked slowly over to Kaoru and climbed on top of him on the bed and purred, "I know."

**

* * *

**

**Haruhi's POV**

Kaoru and Hikaru are seeming to be getting better, they're more like they were before Lex was here, maybe a bit better than before. It's really nice to see, actually.

I only have one problem.

I can't get those damn words Kaoru wrote in his diary out of my head! It was... disgusting, reading the journal entry of someone who's homosexual with his brother. I guess, me not being too aware of genders, can't really say that in all honesty, but... Kaoru has a way of describing things. It just has this way of being disturbing and intriguing at the same time. I found it hard to look away. The only way I could was when I realized that the person who wrote that was the _innocent_ Kaoru who was just downstairs and it was about the crazy kid who sat next to me. That's how I finally got sick enough to move away and leave the room.

When I saw Kaoru as I got downstairs, it was obvious that nap-time was just ending.

**Why did Hikaru say that to get us to leave? I don't really wanna know.**

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

Hika-chan and Kao-kun have gotten a lot better since the last time I got to talk to them. I haven't been doing it much anymore because they're sinners, and my mommy told me to avoid them. She still is in the hospital, it's kind of depressing when I go to visit her now. Her damages have gotten worse, and now the doctors think it's cancer. It can't be, mommy is pregnant. I don't want to lose a new sibling, I like siblings.

Hika-chan and Kao-kun haven't been listening to their parents, I can tell that, and they probably have done some dirty things too. I'm not going to bug them about that though, they need a break from me, I suppose.

**Ah, the tragic love story of Juliet Kaoru and **_**her**_** Romeo Hikaru.**


	32. It's True!

**The Twenty-first Day**_** Hitachiin Household: "Mom and Dad's" Evening Check-up**_

"Hello?" Tamaki called as he opened the door to the Hitachiin household to be greeted by nothing, not a water balloon, or two irritatingly homosexual twins. Nothing. Not a sound, not a groan, not a screaming, "OMG I'M BLDIN!" **((Thanks to Tamaki's random rants when he's at the Club and complaining about the psychotic twins and how odd they are... this one is thanks to Sunday's rant))**

Kyoya groaned and walked behind Tamaki. When seeing nothing and hearing nothing, they decided to check the twins bedroom. On opening the door they saw the door sleeping forms in the bed. Tamaki quietly called Kaoru's name and Kaoru groaned and told Hikaru to shut up, causing Tamaki to chuckle. Kyoya and Tamaki walked over to the twins and magically shone a flashlight on their faces.

"They didn't lie," Tamaki whispered, disgusted.

Kyoya shrugged and replied to Tamaki's disgusted tone and facial expression, "You know, they could just be sleeping and nothing happened between the two at all. Maybe your mind is becoming just as sick and twisted as Renge-chan's? It's a possibility."

Tamaki shook his head vigorously; he was not about to be anything like Renge, the otaku. Tamaki sat on the bed and stared at the sleeping twins, their faces serene as their hands gripped around the other person. Despite what Tamaki feared they were wearing, they looked to be normal, oddly close, identical twins. Nothing out of the ordinary. The only thing that was, was Tamaki's fear that they were wearing nothing.

"If you're so worried, check yourself," Kyoya snarled. "Let me go home."

Tamaki shook his head and poked Hikaru. The twins groaned and pulled the other twin closer and they snuggled back into the bed. Tamaki couldn't stand waking those two sleeping forms, so peaceful like angels.

"Wake up, you sinners," Came a sharp and irritating voice.

The twins eyes shot open and they stared at Tamaki, then Kyoya, then as they sat up a bit, at the little child with her short cut black hair and amber eyes. She didn't look very happy, and the twins hearts sank. Just because they'd come to like the little devil didn't mean they still didn't fear her. Kaoru looked at Hikaru shamefully and he tried to move, but he winced at his ankle. Hikaru wrapped his arms around Kaoru and they glared at the little demon, Lex.

"You are big sinners now," Lex scowled.

"Go away," The twins moaned as Hikaru turned his gaze to Kaoru's eyes and Kaoru looked at Hikaru with his eyes as well. The twins smiled and closed their eyes, letting the people in the room stare at them in disbelief, hatred, disgust, and annoyance. "Leave us alone. We don't feel comfortable with you in our room right now."

"Sinners!" Lex shouted at them. "It was one thing when I knew it was going on, it's another when I see proof!"

"Want us to take off the covers?" The two cackled. Lex cringed and backed up into Haruhi. Everyone stared at the twins in disbelief and the twins thought for a moment that maybe, just maybe, Hunny and Mori would also crash into their room. The twins thought too soon. "Wonderful! It's a party!"

The twins laughed and held eachother close, no one knowing what to do.

"Yes, Mrs. Hitachiin?" Kyoya talked into his phone. "I hav-"

"NO!" The two shouted as they threw their cellphone at Kyoya's phone, slamming it down onto the ground and it broke. Kyoya gave them his _"I'm gonna kill you" _glare, the twins shivered and huddled closer but didn't apologize. "What were you going to do?"

"Tell your parents that you two were closer than expected and that Tamaki should take care of Kaoru while Hikaru stays over at Haruhi's house," Kyoya sighed, trying to pick up the pieces of the broken phones that were scattered across the floor. The twins felt ashamed and embarassed, they wondered what everyone thought of them _now._ "I wasn't going to tell them about this. Do you really think I'm that mean?"

Haruhi, Kaoru, and Hikaru nodded, but no one noticed it. Tamaki, Hunny, and Mori nodded too, but the moment Kyoya turned around, everyone was standing still and shaking their heads. Kyoya cussed under his breath and dropped the scattered pieces of phone onto the edge of the twins bed. He glared at the two as they sat in bed, still under the covers and holding eachother. Kyoya sighed and he finally responded, breaking the silence, "You two owe me, big time for that cellphone. It was one of the newest models, you two do realize that right? You owe me a HELL of a lot for this one. I wasn't gonna tell on you two and you assault me? Don't you think that you rebellious teenagers should have even a tinsy bit more trust in their mother? I am so ashamed of you twins!"

The two lowered their heads. They sighed and stared around at everyone, waiting for them to leave so they could get up and get dressed. The two cleared their throats and everyone suddenly realized what the two wanted of them, and hesitantly they started to walk out of the twins' bedroom.

"I thought they'd never leave!" Hikaru groaned in relief as he kissed Kaoru deeply on the lips. Kaoru smiled as Hikaru pulled away and he looked around in Hikaru's eyes. He knew that now that the rest of the Host Club knew for a fact, that it wouldn't be kept a secret from their parents for long, and that meant that the two would be seperated again. Hikaru kissed Kaoru tenderly and climbed on top of him. The two smiled.

"Aren't we gonna-"

"Get dressed?" Hikaru finished. "Nah. We're not going down yet. Kyoya and Milord forgot the keys in here, they can't get back in."

Kaoru blushed and smiled at his big brother.

"O-okay," Kaoru huffed, unsure. "If you say so, Hikaru."

"I'm positive," Hikaru purred. Kaoru couldn't argue with his voice, it was just so mezmerizing that sometimes Kaoru wondered how he could be related to this angel. "Don't worry about it, darling. Mom and dad won't find out about this."

Kaoru wrapped his arms around Hikaru and pulled him down and Kaoru kissed him tenderly and whispered into Hikaru's mouth, "You better be damn right, or you're the one who's gonna kicked out of the house. This was all your fault in the first place. All YOURS."

Hikaru laughed and licked Kaoru's tongue and they kissed like that for awhile, a bit of saliva dripping from their chin as their mouths were just beginning to work again as their bodies realized they were awoken again. Hikaru laughed and licked Kaoru's chest; Kaoru didn't refuse anything Hikaru did. Hikaru finally laughed and he went back to Kaoru's face. He chuckled, "You're awfully calm today, Kaoru."

"Oh, really?" Kaoru laughed as he gripped Hikaru's shoulders and pushed Hikaru down on the bed. Kaoru laughed and layed his head down on Hikaru's chest. "What did I tell you? I like being on top."

Hikaru smiled and licked Kaoru's upper neck.

"How could I forget?"

The two closed their eyes and began to fall asleep to the rythmic pounding of the others heart. Their body's blood pulsated at the same time and the two groaned as struggled a bit. Hikaru stroked his hand up and down Kaoru's body, feeling happy as Kaoru shivered when Hikaru's hand went a little too low for Kaoru's comfort. Hikaru kissed Kaoru's hair and Kaoru licked Hikaru's chin to make Hikaru cringe like Kaoru was. Kaoru smiled as he got the desired effect when Hikaru pulled his head away.

Kaoru sighed and he fell asleep on top of Hikaru, their body's touching in almost every part possible and a couple knocks and bangs came on the door. The twins were deep in sleep and pleasure and wouldn't, and couldn't, wake up.

"Kaoru! Hikaru! Open this damn door!" Tamaki's constantly angry voice kept coming as he pounded on their door.

"Mmm, Hikaru?" Kaoru moaned.

"Shut up," Hikaru scowled and pushed down harder on Kaoru's back and Kaoru blushed.

"Don't do that. You know what it does to me."

"Shut up..."

The two breathed in unusion again.

"Shut up," The two scowled.

**

* * *

**

**Tamaki's POV**

The twins wouldn't open their door.

I think they had sex and when I went to go see them, they locked us out of the room. I don't know what else they did in that room. I'm just kind of speechless right now. There is one thing I know for sure.

**They're gonna in so much trouble once they realize their parents know.**


	33. Home Sick, But I'm Sick Of

**The Twenty-Second Day**

Kaoru and Hikaru had to stay home, sick.

"Achoo!" Kaoru sneezed as he sat in a chair in the corner of the room, his eyes red. "Oh man, this sucks really bad. How are you supposed to take care of me when you're blowing your guts out too? I bet the school didn't think about THAT. Because with rich people, you know, safety is one of the least of concerns that they have. Maybe Haruhi's right? Maybe we are all rich bastards."

Hikaru nodded as he sneezed and he fell backwards to stare at the ceiling. He groaned and closed his burning eyes, he found it amusing somehow, how the two had the exact same cold. I guess when you're making out and kissing someone all over though, you're bound to catch their virus sooner or later, especially when you were sick in the first place. Somehow, the twins must've thought that they were invincible, and nothing could stop them! They avoided one flaw, Kaoru could barely move from the injury on his ankle, Hikaru's ankle was throbbing because of his "twin thing", and both of them were sick enough to be unable to move. They had been let stay home, and no one had come to help the twins. They were beginning to feel pity on themselves, forgetting about the other twin since they were so close they didn't have to worry about it. It's not like one was at school while the other was home sick, then they'd be spazzing out and crying for the other one.

"Like a drug," Kaoru moaned as he thought about it long enough.

Hikaru sneezed again as Kaoru did. Suddenly a thump came and the door shot open and Tamaki stood with a bottle of pills and a huge grin on his face. Hikaru groaned and thought that maybe he should kill himself so he wouldn't have to deal with Tamaki's idiotic healing techniques. Kaoru was thinking something similar, only he was thinking that Tamaki's idiotic techniques would be the death of him. Tamaki had a dumb smile on when he shouted, "Daddy's here, babies!"

"Dr. Evil?" Kaoru joked as he sneezed and he pushed down too hard on his ankle and he began crying a bit. Even his jokes couldn't keep the pain away and he found it hard to pretend that nothing was wrong with him when it hurt this bad. "Ow, ow! Help me daddy!"

Hikaru raised his eyebrow and glared at Kaoru, for even thinking of calling Tamaki "Daddy", for as far as Hikaru was concerned, Tamaki was NOTHING of a fatherly figure and shouldn't even be considered one. Yet, Kaoru called him that in the first place, and when Kaoru needed help, it was usually Tamaki he cried to first for help. Sometimes, Kaoru cried to Tamaki before he cried to even Hikaru, this bugged Hikaru severly. Hikaru never said anything about it, but he was close to. It annoyed him that somewhere in Kaoru's mind, Tamaki was ranked before Hikaru in some way, shape, and, or form.

"Let daddy help," Tamaki soothed as he rubbed some ointment onto Kaoru's ankle. Kaoru's thrashing subsided and a look of tranquility took over Kaoru's face. Kaoru actually seemed relieved and happy. "Any better, daughter?"

Kaoru nodded his head and sighed in relief. "Actually? Yes, a lot better. Where did you get that stuff?"

"I made it."

Kaoru jumped. "Is my skin burning? HIKARU?"

Tamaki and Hikaru laughed, as they both knew that Tamaki was joking around. Kaoru continued spazzing out over his ankle, thinking that Tamaki's "concoction" was going to burn his skin off and he'd die.

"You are so gullible, Kaoru," Tamaki laughed.

Kaoru blushed and shook his head. "That's not funny! I thought I was gonna die!"

"Say, did you two... really... you know... have..." Tamaki stuttered.

"Yes," The two responded. "Didn't you believe us when we told you before?"

"You actually did?" Tamaki raised his voice again.

"YES!" The two shouted. "Got a problem with that?"

Tamaki shook his head and sighed and stopped rubbing the ointment on Kaoru's ankle.

"Did it hurt?" Tamaki asked, dumbly.

"Do you even know how guys have sex?"

Tamaki shook his head again.

"Yeah, it hurts, but it's all worth it if you ask me," Kaoru replied, shrugging.

Hikaru laughed, "I guess it all really matters who's on top!"

Tamaki cringed, making the twins laugh even harder. Tamaki glared at them, and wondered if they were kidding, but the twins showed no signs of joking around, just a bunch of laughter, which made Tamaki feel sick. The twins weren't kidding about this. That meant they really DID have sex and weren't kidding around, right? Tamaki had hoped that it was all just an act, and the two were only brothers underneath it all. It didn't seem too likely with the way things were.

Maybe one day they'd be just brothers?

Again, Tamaki doubted it. He tried to imagine everyone ten years from then. He hoped that he'd be happily married to Haruhi with children, but he also hoped that the twins went off and got married to someone else besides eachother.

"Ai, is Haruhi worried?" Kaoru asked, sullenly.

Tamaki looked up at Kaoru. Of course Haruhi was worried, why did he have to ask? Should Haruhi be more worried than usual? Tamaki decided that he wouldn't question Kaoru's question further, so he responded quietly, "Of course she's worried. A bit more than usual, but not much."

Kaoru sighed, "I see."

"I see? Haruhi's really upset about this! Would you two get over yourselves?" Tamaki finally scolded.

"We are over ourselves," The two scowled.

"Get over eachother."

Kaoru looked away. He knew this wouldn't be too hard for Hikaru, but it would be extremely hard for Kaoru. Kaoru always had Hikaru's best ineterests in mind, everything he did, he could never keep Hikaru off of his mind. It was true, Kaoru was obsessed with his brother.

Kaoru never knew love, and Hikaru and him were testing it out. Unfortunately, Kaoru never felt that zing with anyone else, so he naturally was attracted to Hikaru, the one who made him feel good, happy, and important. Kaoru didn't know how he could get over Hikaru, for his whole life Hikaru had meant everything to him. EVERYTHING. When Kaoru was a child he was sure that Hikaru was his world, that nothing else mattered, for everyone else was all idiots for being unable to tell the twins apart in the first place. Tears tugged at Kaoru's eyes as he tried to imagine a life without Hikaru. He couldn't.

"I-if... I can't..." Kaoru started to explain, but he couldn't. He held his breath and bit his tongue to stop the tears from coming. Tamaki's words brought on millions of different thoughts without Hikaru. Hikaru would go off with Haruhi, Hikaru'd hate Kaoru and leave him there, Hikaru died in a crash. All them leaded to Kaoru going suicide. Kaoru couldn't think of a life without Hikaru, a life without Hikaru would be death. Hikaru was life.

Kaoru realized that he'd always been in love with Hikaru, and that's why he'd never wanted to leave Hikaru before. Maybe Hikaru would've been too lonely without Kaoru, so they stuck together. Kaoru always took his brother for granted, too blind to see what his brother meant to him. Kaoru only noticed when Hikaru was torn away from him.

The first time was for a time-out.

THIS was for a life-time.

_I can't live without Hikaru... I need him... I love him..._ Kaoru thought and he had to continue to bite down on his tongue, the taste of blood had already taken over his mouth. Kaoru did not want to cry in front of Hikaru, in front of Tamaki, Kaoru didn't want to cry in front of anyone. He didn't want to cry in front of outsiders, traitors.

They were both traitors now.

"Just get over it," Tamaki sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blow up. Haruhi's just so worried and kind of upset over this whole thing, it's unnatural and I'm really worried about my darling, Haruhi. Just get over eachother and come back when you feel ready."

"What do you mean, get over eachother?" Hikaru finally budged.

"I don't mean you two have to... you know... stop loving eachother, but stop being so obsessed with the other," Tamaki tried to explain, holding his tongue so he didn't go off onto some rant or use missapropriate language. "If, you two know what I mean, of course."

"I'm not obsessed with Kaoru."

Kaoru tried to open his mouth, but his head hurt from all the lies. The lies of love, of pain, of Kaoru telling them all that he was okay, Kaoru couldn't take lying anymore, especially when his twin could leave him for it. Kaoru didn't want to lose Hikaru.

It wasn't Kaoru's fault he was obsessed with Hikaru.

It was _THEIR_ fault.

Kaoru shook his head.

"I think I hear you getting better, Hikaru?" Kaoru tried to sidetrack them both.

"Oh yeah, I haven't sneezed in the past ten minutes, and I actually feel a lot better!" Hikaru exclaimed, happily. Kaoru frowned, because he was feeling like hell, weren't the twins supposed to share everything? Kaoru wanted them to be the same person again. He began hating Lex, she was the one who tore the two apart, bit by bit, like a rubber band. One hand slipped and the two shot back together, so she began trying again. Each time the rubber band weakened, and soon the two would be seperated for good, for more people were have fun with that rubber band, and Kaoru's end was getting the pain the most. Kaoru was the one weakening, and Kaoru didn't know how much longer he could handle all this. He wished he was a child again, when everything was simple. Hikaru, Kaoru. The furthly definitive words hadn't yet crawled into their vocabulary, so it was all alright.

"You can go to school tomorrow then," Kaoru pointed out. "You both take care of Haruhi, okay?"

"But you'll be here alone, and you can't-"

"I'll be fine."

Tamaki and Hikaru looked at eachother, Kaoru wanted them to leave so he could cry. The taste of blood came even stronger as Kaoru bit harder down on his tongue. This didn't help much, and more tears tugged at Kaoru's eyes, and he wanted to scream out. Kaoru didn't want Hikaru this time.

Hikaru betrayed him.

Again.

Hikaru and Tamaki finally decided that Hikaru was well enough to go to school for the rest of the day since it wasn't even lunch time, yet. They took Kaoru and put him in the bed and set his lunch beside him, for when he was hungry, and they left him. Kaoru was all alone again. He didn't feel ultimately depressed this time, Kaoru was becoming used to being alone. Kaoru broke in long sobs, becoming deeper as he thought about his life.

Kaoru was a vase, constantly broken, and being glued back again and again, but soon enough, the vase would become harder and harder to glue back together. The pieces had become worn, and had a bit of glue remaining on them, the vase becoming bigger from the insulation between the pieces. Kaoru was sick of it. If he was meant to break, then he should be left broken, but Kaoru thought that too soon. Kaoru sat in his room, sobbing, broken, and no one was there to pick him up. No one was going to help him this time. Everyone had betrayed him, even that lovely face he adored so much.

Kaoru didn't want anyone in specific, he just wanted someone. He had already stopped talking to Chris a long time ago, when Chris stopped crushing on Kaoru. Kaoru found it so annoying, that he'd be laying there, bleeding, with no one to hold him. He was sure now that God hated him. That everyone hated him. Kaoru wanted to scream out and have someone help him. Kaoru didn't necessarily want anyone. He just wanted it all to be gone. The pain.

Kaoru didn't know it, but Hikaru and Tamaki hadn't left. They stood by the door, peering in through a crack at Kaoru. They weren't sure if he was really okay and ready to be left alone. They were right on that one. They stared at Kaoru as bits of blood dripped down his face from his bleeding tongue, and he'd become engulfed in sadness, and he sobbed and sobbed. Kaoru only continued staring at the ceiling, never asking for anyone, for anything.

"Are... you happy yet?" Kaoru finally asked as he began trying to breath normally again. "Are you happy with me yet?"

Hikaru's side of the rubber band was still fighting, still strong, but Kaoru's end was easy to pull, and the middle began to weaken, a little closer to Kaoru's. Hikaru would have a bit more of life and himself than Kaoru would. Kaoru was more like a dying doll, waiting for it's punishment. Kaoru felt like that too.

Kaoru's sobs subsided, and he just stared.

"Alone..." Kaoru laughed as he tried to move, wincing at his ankle and the pain in his mouth. "All alone again. It's kind of funny, actually. I talk to myself WAY too much, but it's better that way. I'm my best friend, after all."

Kaoru paused and thought about his words. Best friend? Yes, it was true, Kaoru loved himself more than anyone else loved Kaoru. Yet, Kaoru hated himself more than anything else in the world. Kaoru hated himself for letting go of Hikaru. Kaoru hated himself for going out with and making her hurt. Kaoru hated himself for even using the word "himself" and "myself" in his vocabulary. Kaoru groaned and shoved a pillow onto his face.

"I'm my worst enemy as well!" Kaoru moaned. "Why did you make it so difficult?"

Kaoru thought about how no one seemed to be unique in reality, everyone went through similar problems. There was always a druggie who was like another druggie, there was always a depressed person who was like another depressed person. How often did you find a twin who was madly in love with his brother, and hated himself so much that everything hurt when you looked at it? Kaoru doubted anyone was in a hell like this. He hated to tell himself it, but Kaoru was truly unique. Unique in pain. He wouldn't be unique in death though. All the ways to die had already been taken over. Well, except for something unnatural, like a puppy choking you and eating out your throat. **((Random crack I thought of when playing with my puppy))**

"Why does it still hurt so much? Hikaru loves me, I should be happy and giddy!" Kaoru tried to tell himself. His head hurt severly, and he started to regret sending Tamaki and Hikaru off, not knowing they were watching him and listening to every word he said. "I should be... happy and giddy."

Kaoru began to cry again, sounding more childish and wimpy, like you could step on him and he'd crack, like a bug.

"I never knew it could hurt so much!" Kaoru complained. "I bet even Juliet didn't have this much problems."

Kaoru sobbed and shook his head as he stared at his ceiling.

"It hurts..."

**

* * *

Hikaru's POV**Kaoru's been acting weird lately. I thought that when I did things he liked, he'd become happy. It doesn't seem to be happening though. Milord came and was supposed to take care of us, but I'd gotten better and was supposed to go off to school. Only, Tamaki had the whole day off to take care of us, so we decided to hide and watch Kaoru to see what he would do. He began sobbing and complaining... to who though? No one? Himself? God? It makes no sense to me. 

**Kaoru's so weird.**

* * *

**Tamaki's POV**

My daughter began crying the moment we left. I think Kaoru was waiting for us to leave so he could sob and cry and complain.

I feel... so much pity for him. I know what it's like to lose someone precious to you, but it must hurt so much more for him. He sees that person he lost everyday. He sleeps with the person who he lost. Hikaru probably doesn't even realize it, for they're both idiots. They're still like little five year olds, for they never had a normal childhood, they're their only friend. It must hurt so much.

Kaoru seems... really hurt.

**What does he think he should do about it? Something... un-life-threatening, I hope.**


	34. I Never Thought

**The Twenty-Third Day**

Hikaru wasn't allowed to stay home with Kaoru, he said he was fine and that he could take care of himself, and he felt better if Hikaru wasn't there. It hurt Hikaru deeply to hear Kaoru talk about him like that, but Hikaru wasn't about to argue with his precious darling. After listening to Kaoru cry and whine, it's all Hikaru could do to not break down into tears and sobs infront of Kaoru. Hikaru didn't know if he could keep his composure through the school day, remembering those sobs, those cries, not being able to come in and help his brother because Kaoru thought that Hikaru had left, and coming in would mean Kaoru finding out Hikaru lied to him. Hikaru hated lying to Kaoru. It's one of the things that brought him the most pain in life, Hikaru couldn't lie to Kaoru if Kaoru figured out or thought it might be a lie. Kaoru was just so sharp.

"It's alright, Hikaru," Kaoru had soothed when Hikaru was getting dressed to go off to school. The voice, the eyes, the tears those eyes had cried, all of it made Hikaru's heart ache and he wanted to sob and hold Kaoru, never to let him go. Kaoru didn't want Hikaru, nor did he _say_ that he needed him. Hikaru wanted to hear those words pass those angelic, soft lips again.

_"I need you, Hikaru," _Kaoru had cried once when he broke his arm from straying from Hikaru's eyesight. So, to stay with Kaoru, Hikaru had gone and broken his arm as well, so he could be with his brother. The twins were supposed to be alike in mind, shape, and form. It wasn't so. They tried to mimick the other's actions so no one knew that they WERE different, that they weren't the same person. Lex saw that. That's what happened to Kaoru. Lex figured it out, and now Kaoru was pulling away.

"I need you, Kaoru," Hikaru admitted to himself as he began walking out the door to go to school. It was quite a bitter cold day, stinging his nose. Usually Kaoru's warm hand was in his.

Hikaru never thought about Kaoru this much.

Never had Hikaru thought about Kaoru this much in his whole life. Kaoru was always a granted.

Hikaru couldn't help but feel that his precious brother and lover was slipping right through his fingers. He felt that he wasn't even trying to block Kaoru from leaving. A thought suddenly hit his mind that he thought was so absurd, he tried to brush it off as impossible. It kept gnawing at his mind, though.

_What if I'm leaving Kaoru?_

Hikaru couldn't believe it, why did this thought keep coming back? It wouldn't leave him alone... maybe... just maybe, it was true? Hikaru shook his head, he had to get these thoughts out of his mind, he was already halfway through second hour, and he hadn't focused on a single thing the teachers had said. They called on him and he couldn't really reply at all. He got sent to the office and got detention so he'd have to miss club, and he'd have to miss going to see Kaoru earlier than supposed to. Hikaru longed to see Kaoru's face again. To tell him that he was lying to himself.

For some reason, he knew Kaoru would give no such support.

"Hikaru? Are you okay?" Haruhi asked as she sat in the Music Room with Lex sleeping on her lap. Hikaru and Kaoru had both almost forgotten that their torturer WAS only a child, I guess that made them hate her even more. "Is Kaoru alright?"

Hikaru nodded and sat next to her, glaring at the child who was fast asleep. Hikaru wanted to wake her up and scream at her. Life was better when he was pretending, life was great when Kaoru didn't know that Hikaru loved him, everything was better before this damn brat came into the picture. Lying was wonderful when it was to the outside people. Now it seemed like the worst thing to ever even THINK of doing.

"Hey, weren't you taking care of Kaoru?" Tamaki asked, shocked, as he walked into the music room. "I heard that someone had taken time off of school because Kaoru requested having them take care of him. Wasn't it you?"

"Kaoru said I made him feel even sicker..." Hikaru snapped.

"Then who was it?" Tamaki wondered. Hikaru found himself wondering that question as well. Who would Kaoru request that was out of the Host Club? Did Kaoru even trust anyone outside of the Host Club? Hikaru found it hard to believe, and hurt when he tried to think about Kaoru wanting someone outside of his circle, much less of dissapointment however, than he had of knowing that Kaoru didn't want Hikaru to take care of him. Hikaru felt like crying and going home to snuggle with Kaoru. Hikaru found it hard to be happy around these people anymore, he just wanted his darling brother. It didn't matter what people thought. He wanted his Kaoru.

"I want to go home!" Hikaru groaned.

"Don't you have detention?" Haruhi remembered.

Hikaru growled and nodded and he stormed off to go to his detention room. Detention was hell, boredom, and worst of all, Hikaru had time to think. LOTS of time to think because he didn't know anything about his homework and was going to ask Kaoru about it when he got home, for mostly all of his homework was English and language, and Hikaru never paid attention to that crap. Hikaru sighed and moaned as he tried to find something to do, he drew doodles and everything. He couldn't stop thinking about Kaoru. This was something new to Hikaru. Hikaru never in his life had thought about Kaoru this much. It was starting to worry Hikaru and he began crying.

"What's wrong, Hikaru-kun?" The teacher asked as he walked over and kneeled next to Hikaru. "Are you sick again?"

Hikaru nodded and shook his head, but finally decided that, yes, he was sick. Hikaru was given a pass and the school called a limousine to come pick Hikaru up and take him to his home. When he got there, he met an evil, black person.

"What are you doing here, Nekozawa?" Hikaru cursed as he walked into his bedroom.

Nekozawa sat on the edge of the bed, trying to get Kaoru to eat something.

"It smells like a dead rat!" Kaoru complained.

Nekozawa laughed and Hikaru realized that Kaoru had requested Nekozawa to come take care of him. This hurt Hikaru, that not only was Tamaki higher than Hikaru somewhere in Kaoru's mind, but Nekozawa was also higher than Hikaru! Hikaru was angry and he dashed over and pushed Nekozawa away.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru scolded.

Nekozawa didn't say anything, he just rited himself and stood there, staring at the two.

"What do you think you're doing?" Kaoru snarled.

Hikaru shook his head and kissed Kaoru's lips.

Kaoru layed there, shocked. Hikaru removed his mouth and huffed, "I'm staying home with you from now on, got it?"

Kaoru smiled, tears in his eyes. Had his brother betrayed him? Or was that a lie Kaoru told himself?

Again, Kaoru tried to say something, but Hikaru's tongue silenced him. Kaoru seemed to melt under that tongue; those lips always silenced him. Kaoru moaned when Hikaru pulled away and pulled Hikaru back. At home, Kaoru was usually the one who made Hikaru melt; Kaoru was the dominant one at home, but because he was younger, at school they pretended Hikaru was dominant. It was nice, for Hikaru to make his twin shiver, to make him moan. It was nice to experience at home once in awhile too. Nekozawa laughed and left. He had suspected that this would happen all along, which was partially why he did it in the firstplace.

Just like that, the two were glued and couldn't keep their hands, lips, or tongues off of the other person.

"Those twins," Nekozawa laughed as he was getting ready to leave.

**

* * *

**

**Haruhi's POV**

Kaoru's getting close to Hikaru, and it's worrying me. I hate to say it, but I think I love Kaoru... but that's not supposed to happen, I'm not supposed to fall in love with anyone. Not yet, I'm too young for falling in love. Kaoru though, he makes me melt, and thinking of him hurt, sick, and alone makes me sad. Thinking of him with Hikaru though, that makes me even sadder. I don't really like the idea of those two together, they're brothers after all. I used to have this crush on Hikaru, but it went away.

I might also like senpai... but... Kaoru is just... I can't really stop thinking about him. I'd never admit it though, everyone would spazz out. I'm a bit like other girls, just not entirely. So, I'm really tomboyish, so what? I can still act like a normal girl and fawn over someone. I just choose not to on the outside. On the inside though, I could be crushing on someone, then totally forget they even exist and focus on some family issues. So, I'm a little weird, whatever.

**I just can't help it... there's something about him.**


	35. Lies And Anger

**The Twenty-Fourth Day**

Hikaru was mad at Kaoru.

He didn't know why.

Kaoru was laughing and talking with Haruhi at home. He'd requested Haruhi to stay with him that day. Hikaru was extremely annoyed, Kaoru refused to do anything with Hikaru the previous day. At first, it was all normal. They were kissing and getting into it when Kaoru pushed him away.

_"Hikaru, there's something you need to know. I'm going out with Haruhi, and I do believe that she doesn't appreciate you all over me, so PLEASE lay off, alright?"_ Kaoru had scolded Hikaru.

Hikaru gritted his teeth and grinded them a bit as he sat, staring out the window of his biology class. Normally, Hikaru loved this class and it was one of the only ones he actually listened to the teachers during. Today, Hikaru wasn't listening at all, he was so upset, he was surprised he didn't jump up and run all the way back to his house to see Kaoru. When Hikaru was told that Kaoru and Haruhi were going out, he finally realized why Kaoru was looking so fondly at Haruhi, and was becoming less responsive to Hikaru. It made him mad, because Kaoru KNEW that Hikaru liked Haruhi. He knew it! So he goes and asks her to go out with him!

Of course, this was no news to Hikaru. He'd known that Haruhi and Kaoru were going out. So why... is it that when Kaoru told him now, Hikaru got so upset? Was it because Hikaru was becoming so worried and in love with Kaoru, he was starting to forget that anyone was outside of that wall that the two had built around them? Hikaru didn't know, he was so angry, he just wanted to punch Kaoru.

_He Knew!_

Hikaru was seething with anger by the time school ended, and it was all he could do not to run home and yell at Kaoru. In one day, his emotions had completely went topsy-turvy. Yesterday he was all over his brother, not caring about anything else. Now suddenly, Hikaru was so mad he wanted to tear Kaoru limb from limb.

"What's wrong?" Tamaki asked as Hikaru stormed in.

Hikaru clenched his fists and spat, "Kaoru's going out with Haruhi!"

Tamaki looked shocked, hurt, and tortured all in one second. His attitude changed and he tried to hide how hurt he was and he asked, "Ummm, Hikaru, if I may ask... why are you so upset about this? Is it because Kaoru is going out with Haruhi? Or because Haruhi is going out with Kaoru?"

"That makes no SENSE!" Hikaru snapped and he sat down on the couch and pulled a pillow over his face and he screamed into the pillow. Everyone tried to plug their ears, the pillow wasn't doing a very good job at muffling Hikaru's voice. "That makes no sense Milord! It's all the same! Kaoru's going out with Haruhi! I don't WANT HIM to go out with HER! He's MY brother! She's OUR friend! The two just don't mix in love!"

"Brothers don't mix in love either," Kyoya pointed out, not trying to sound mean. "Are you forgetting about that Hikaru?"

"I DON'T WANT KAORU!" Hikaru snapped as he threw the pillow at Kyoya. "I WANT **HER**!"

Tamaki blinked as he stared at the enraged Hikaru. What had gotten into this boy?

"I thought you loved Kaoru?" Tamaki questioned.

"Until he BETRAYED me!" Hikaru continued to snap.

"Or did you betray him?" Hunny asked.

Hikaru stood up and walked to the window and tried to calm himself down.

_"Please, don't be mad at me," _Kaoru had pleaded Hikaru. _"I know you like Haruhi! I'm sorry, but she likes me too, so I decided why not go out with her? Besides, she's really sweet and she likes me a lot more than you."_

_"I can't believe you left me."_

Kaoru didn't even care.

"I'm gonna beat him!" Hikaru snarled as his rage came back and he ran to the door to go home. Tamaki and Mori reached for him and held him back. "LET ME GO!"

It was hard for them all to understand. Hikaru was so obsessed with his little brother, treating him like a doll. Almost like Nekozawa treated Bereznef. Now Hikaru was so mad at Kaoru that he wanted to rip his little brother limb from limb. He probably would if he got to him, so Mori and Tamaki held onto Hikaru tightly.

Hikaru stopped and began sobbing.

"I can't believe him..." Hikaru sobbed. "What kind of brother is he?"

Tamaki and Mori didn't let go, afraid that it was a trick. With the Hitachiin brothers, it was hard to tell what was a trick and what wasn't. They set Hikaru down on a sofa and he began sobbing uncontrollably, which was VERY unlike Hikaru.

"That bastard!" Hikaru cried. "I can't believe I'm related to that BASTARD!"

The Club stared at Hikaru with concern. This... was an actual fight.

All their fights were out of boredom, so they weren't actually fights, they were all games. But... this was... entirely different. The words Hikaru spoke had a tinge of hatred mixed in, and it hurt to even hear them. It was hard to believe he was cursing Kaoru. They were the best of friends, the best and closest brothers, the cutest lovers. Now, something was tearing it apart, and Tamaki couldn't help but feel responsible, for after all, it was his fault Haruhi joined the Host Club in the first place. Seeing Hikaru's body tremble and clench his fists and hear his teeth grind, it was an ultimate punishment for Tamaki. He had to do something. He needed to break Haruhi and Kaoru up, for his good, and for Hikaru and Kaoru's.

Tamaki was afraid that he'd have to keep the twins away from eachother, for Hikaru looked about ready to strangle the life out of Kaoru. Sure, his beloved and most endeared daughter, Haruhi, was with that mongrel, Kaoru, but seeing Hikaru hurt... it changed Tamaki's point of view, even if just for a moment. He saw Haruhi as a threat, it's like he was seeing Haruhi through Kaoru's eyes. Haruhi, was a threat. A beautiful, intoxicating threat. Everyone was lured by her, male and female.

"That bastard..." Hikaru scowled.

Suddenly, Hikaru lashed out and he shoved Mori and Tamaki away and he dashed down the school corridor, out the front door, and began running home. The same harsh thoughts kept going through his mind, and he found it hard to believe that he'd fallen in love with this... creature. He found it hard to believe that he had _sex_ with that exact same creature, that he was _related_ to this creature, that he _slept_ with that thing. The more and more negative thoughts Hikaru had, the faster his legs moved, his hands just twitching to rip that thing to shreds, his lungs begging for a break. Hikaru wouldn't allow himself to stop, not until he reached that house. Not until he'd gotten Haruhi out of Kaoru's reaches. Hikaru felt so furious that Kaoru had gone out with Haruhi without asking Hikaru for permission first. Then again, Hikaru wasn't Kaoru's dad, he was his twin brother. That thought infuriated him. He kept swearing to himself, his legs pounding faster against the pavement, almost as fast as that muscle in his chest.

"That BASTARD!" Hikaru shouted out loud as he swung open the door and began ascending the steps, his heart and lungs begging for a break, or they'd collapse. Hikaru didn't listen and he lunged into his bedroom and glared at Haruhi and Kaoru. He could barely get any oxygen into his tiny little respirators, so he breathed faster and faster. Haruhi was sitting on the edge of their bed, Kaoru sound asleep in the bed, his chest heaving up and down slowly, Hikaru began wishing his chest would move that slow and that his throat would stop burning. Haruhi blinked and stared at Hikaru.

"Hikaru? What's wrong?" Haruhi worried.

"B-bre-break..." Hikaru choked and coughed. "I want... you to... break up... with... Kaoru."

"No can do."

Hikaru blinked as he stared at that face, that beloved face. She disagreed? Why wouldn't she break up with Kaoru? She couldn't actually be _infatuated_ with Kaoru, could she? No, that was impossible, this was impossible, it was all a horrible nightmare, like the ones that Kaoru had.

Kaoru had them more frequently, and he was having one at that moment. His legs struggled a bit and he rolled over and groaned.

"Hikaru..."

Haruhi's eyes continued staring into Hikaru's eyes without a falter.

"Someone has to stay by him. You're not going to, so why shouldn't I?"

Hikaru blinked and he stepped back in shock, his heart was pulsing through his whole body, his lungs choking up, and here was Haruhi, defending Kaoru. Hikaru had run all this way, so fast.

To find Haruhi actually liked Kaoru.

Kaoru struggled and moaned in his sleep; Haruhi scooted up to him, and stroked his forehead. She "shh"ed him, and tried to soothe him. She even whispered to him in a calming, almost seducing voice, "Shh, it's alright Kaoru. Haruhi's he-Hikaru's here now."

Eventually, after a bunch of soothing from Haruhi, Kaoru grew quiet and his body quit spazzing, and he lay there, sleeping peacefully again. Haruhi glared at Hikaru and scowled, "Now, is that all you came for?"

"Uhh, y-yea..."

"Then go."

Haruhi was being so persistent. Another thought Hikaru and he grew angry. Why was everyone on Kaoru's side?

Of course, these two HAD to be twins now.

Kaoru felt that everyone was on Hikaru's side, and Hikaru thought everyone was on Kaoru's side. It angered both of them to think that everyone adored their brother while they were left in the dark, unloved, cold, and longing for someone to help them. Hikaru apparently longed for Haruhi to help him, but Kaoru longed for Hikaru. It was true though, Kaoru did have a MAJOR thing for Haruhi, and it bugged Hikaru. Did Hikaru really love Haruhi, or was Kaoru's prediction off? Maybe Hikaru didn't like Haruhi, maybe he was just jealous that Kaoru liked Haruhi. Or perhaps... just maybe...

Hikaru _used_ to like Haruhi?

If he used to like Haruhi, then why was he getting so upset? Why did his blood boil when he saw Haruhi stroking his brother's calm and tranquil face? Why did Hikaru feel like pounding Kaoru... maybe he wanted to pound Haruhi?

_I don't know!_

Hikaru went over and sat next to Haruhi, holding her hand in his.

"Haruhi... I have a confession to make," Hikaru whispered.

"What?"

"I think... I lo-love you..." Hikaru finally admitted. His cheeks flared and his eyes looked up to stare into her glimmering eyes."I think I love-"

Kaoru opened his eyes slightly and Hikaru jumped.

"K-kaoru!"

"It's okay," Kaoru whispered. "Go on, tell her."

"I think I love you, Haruhi," Hikaru admitted, again.

Haruhi smiled and blushed a bit, but she shook her head.

"I'm sorry, but I can't accept that. I don't love you. I... think I love Kaoru," Haruhi admitted herself.

They both looked at Kaoru and he rolled over to look away from them.

"Who do you love, Kaoru?" They both asked.

"Love hurts. It's best kept inside. No one can hurt you that way."

Hikaru and Haruhi frowned and they shrugged and began walking out of the room to let Kaoru rest.

Kaoru sat up and leaned his chin onto his knees. He scooted off of the bed and he picked his phone and made a call on it.

"Hello? Yeah, nice to talk to you again... Yeah, thanks for that by the way..." Kaoru talked into his phone and laughed.

"Yes, they still think I can't walk."

**

* * *

**

**Kaoru's POV**

I guess I feel kind of bad, for lying to everyone. I told Umehito about it when he came to watch over me. When I explained to him about my feelings and how I was confused, he decided that he wouldn't tell anyone, since my intentions weren't ill intended.

I didn't know it at first, I thought that I was really damned when I got caught in that trap, I really did.

Turns out, that "hobo" really meant to lead me into that trap. That person... used to be in the Black Magic Club and knew me from school, and knew about my problems. So they decided they could persuade me.

That "hobo" wasn't a hobo at all, but a drug dealer.

No one has to worry though, I won't buy any drugs from him, it's just nice to get a break from school for awhile. So I thanked him a couple times, and he brings me what I need or helps me out to get what I need. Of course...

**...a drug dealer is nice to have in case of emergencies.**


	36. Once In Awhile

**The Twenty-Fourth Night**_** Hitachiin Household**_

Hikaru snuggled up to Kaoru in his bed. The two had been given seperate bedrooms at the request of Kaoru, but Hikaru had a nightmare so he snuck in and climbed into Kaoru's bed. Kaoru's leg twitched and rubbed against Hikaru's leg, Hikaru had to hold back a squeak or groan.

"Mmm, Hikaru?" Kaoru moaned as he rolled over. Kaoru stared into Hikaru's eyes, Kaoru's eyes were still half open.

"Yes, Kaoru?"

Kaoru blinked and he wrapped his arms around Hikaru and pulled their waists together and Kaoru masaged Hikaru's mouth with his tongue. Hikaru blinked, nervously. Kaoru had earlier told Hikaru how he never wanted to see Hikaru's face ever again, that Hikaru drove him mad, and he didn't want any more of it, that he'd gotten tired of living in Hikaru's shadow and that they were through. So why, oh why, was Kaoru coming onto him so forcefully when Hikaru SNUCK into his bed in the middle of the night?

"Mmm, Kaoru," Hikaru tried to speak, trying his mouth away from Kaoru's. Hikaru wasn't succeeding very well as Kaoru wouldn't let him go, and Hikaru particularly didn't want to get away from Kaoru, but knew that he must because Kaoru had said that he wanted nothing to do with Hikaru anymore, so Hikaru wanted to know what the hell this was all about. "Are you still asleep or something?"

Kaoru took his mouth away and blinked, his eyes opening all the way. His cheeks burned and he unwrapped his legs from Hikaru's and pulled away, sat up, and touched his mouth. He tried to say something, but couldn't, his face was bright red, and it made Hikaru smile and laugh. Hikaru sat up and pulled Kaoru into a hug.

"It's okay," Hikaru whispered into Kaoru's ear, Kaoru cringing at the warmth of Hikaru's breath. "I actually enjoyed you coming onto me. Now let me ask you something, why were you dreaming of me?"

"I... I wasn't dreaming of YOU... it was... someone else..." Kaoru stumbled.

"Oh really?" Hikaru cooed, making Kaoru shiver more.

Hikaru moved his waist around a bit to get one of his legs around Kaoru and he smiled, awaiting Kaoru's reaction. Kaoru scowled, "Yes, I was dreaming of someone else. I was dreaming of... Haruhi."

Hikaru stopped smiling and let his head rest on Kaoru's shoulder.

"Why are you in my bed, anyway?" Kaoru growled.

"I had a nightmare."

Kaoru blushed, as he could relate to that. Tonight was one of those nights he hadn't had a nightmare yet, but that was probably because he woke up still in the good part of his dream and starting going all over Hikaru, and Kaoru still couldn't believe that he had done that, he swore it was a dream. He wouldn't admit that he was glad Hikaru was there. He could never admit to Hikaru after what happened that day.

Hikaru blinked.

"Wait, then why did you say my name?"

Kaoru shivered and struggled, "Well, umm, you see..."

A smile crossed the other boys face and he covered the hesitant boy's mouth with his own. Kaoru struggled under Hikaru's weight but didn't say anything. Something hit Hikaru as he kissed Kaoru. Hikaru pulled away.

"Doesn't your foot hurt?"

Kaoru blushed and nodded and rubbed his ankle.

Hikaru watched him and he scowled, "Excuse me?"

Kaoru blushed again and looked at Hikaru, trying to avoid his eyes. "Yeah, it hurts, but you know... I have to deal with it and I've kind of gotten used to it."

_Oh God, he figured it out,_ Kaoru's eyes said.

Hikaru frowned and kissed Kaoru again.

"Don't worry, I won't tell," Hikaru soothed as he stroked Kaoru's hair. Kaoru smiled and he felt ashamed for lying to his brother. He had mood swings so often when it came to Hikaru. Just the other day he was so angry at him, and now all he wanted was forgiveness and a big hug from his brother. Hikaru licked Kaoru's lips and he smiled and whispered, "Hey, you taste bad. You need another bath."

Kaoru smiled and snuggled up to Hikaru.

"Only if you help me," Kaoru whispered, soothingly.

Hikaru blushed and held Kaoru for a little while until Kaoru licked Hikaru's chin. Hikaru cringed and shivered, making Kaoru smile and he licked Hikaru again, parting his lips and they began "French kissing".

"Mmm, Kaoru," Hikaru moaned.

"Shh, I'm busy," Kaoru cooed as he ran his hand under Hikaru's shirt and smiling.

"But Kaoru..."

"I'm... busy..."

Hikaru smiled and kissed Kaoru's head and blushed as Kaoru's hands ran up and down his back.

"Are you still with Haruhi?" Hikaru asked, quietly.

"Yeah."

"Oh..."

Kaoru kissed Hikaru again.

"That doesn't mean we can't have fun once in awhile."

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

The two twinsies are having fun, I suppose. I hear they're fighting a lot. Haru-chan is going out with Kao-kun and Kao-kun loves Haru-chan AND Hika-chan, but Hika-chan loves Haru-chan. Mmm, this is all really confusing.

I saw Kao-kun's ankle, he can walk, I can already see that.

**So why doesn't he?**


	37. The Fight

**The Twenty-Fifth Day**

Kaoru was gone.

"Mom! Mom! I can't find Kaoru!" Hikaru complained as he dashed down the stairs into the kitchen, his upper body still naked. Their mother blinked at him, but didn't say anything. "Mom! I _seriously_ can't find Kaoru!"

Mrs. Hitachiin shook her head and stood up and walked over to her son and hugged him.

"What?"

"I don't know where he is darling, I've been looking for him, too," She replied, quietly. "What happened yesterday?"

So, Hikaru explained the story.

_"Haruhi and I walked out of the room and began talking to eachother, and she was explaining how she was all worried about Kaoru and everything, and I got a bit upset with her. We went up to see Kaoru and Haruhi walked over to him and began to completely ignore me, so I naturally started getting mad._

_"'Get out of my room,' Kaoru had hissed at me. It was really weird. It's like he didn't want to see me at all._

_"So I told him that I didn't want to and that it was OUR room, not just his. Then he started saying that no, it was infact his room, and that I'd have to find another room because he decided that he didn't want to sleep in the same bed as me. I got mad and I started swearing at him, calling him a traitor and everything. Kaoru stopped talking to me after that. After a bunch more of yelling, Kaoru finally spoke up. Now, for the whole time I was yelling and blowing up, Haruhi and Kaoru just sat there, listening. That's all they were doing._

_"'You're the traitor, get out of my room. I can't stand you anymore. You talk too much, you're too selfish, and I can't stop thinking about you, get out of my life,' That's what Kaoru told me. I can never get that out of my head. There's no way I could even try to. It hurt so much, to hear him say that he never wanted to see me again, that he didn't want me in his life is basically everything he said in that sentence. 'I hate you.'"_

All the while, his mother just kept staring at his face.

"Last night?" She budged.

"We made up," Hikaru shrugged. "So I don't know why he's gone. Maybe he's with Haruhi?"

"I just called, he's not there."

"Milor-"

"Not there."

Hikaru stared at his mother in awe. His brother was no where to be found?

"The Nekozawa's?" Hikaru thought quickly.

She blinked and stared at Hikaru with open eyes.

"Nekozawa... nekozawa..." She kept whispering under her breath. "I don't know the name."

"They're really religious, they came from Russia, and they worship cat idols," Hikaru explained, trying not to laugh at how ridiculous they all sounded from his description. How could Kaoru get along with those people? "Nekozawa Umehito loves the dark and can't be in the light without his protective wig and cloak. The youngest, Nekozawa Kirimi, hates the dark, but the two siblings love eachother a lot."

She nodded this time and was looking through something on her cellphone, then dialed a number, and was waiting, listening to the ringtone. Hikaru could even hear the ringtone as he sat there, staring at his mom, both of them waiting for something to happen.

"Oh yes, hello. Is Kaoru Hitachiin there?"

Hikaru waited, nervously. It didn't even matter if Kaoru was at the Nekozawa's, just that he was safe.

"Oh great! Could you send him home? We need to talk. Thanks, bye."

Hikaru leaned forward, awaiting an answer. His mother sighed and replied, "Yes, Kaoru was there, and he's gonna be in so much trouble when he gets home. Dissapearing before seven in the morning! What kind of child have I raised?"

Hikaru and his mother waited... patiently, if you call pacing back and forth in anticipation, patient.

"Tadaima," Kaoru's voice came, full of annoyance.

"You better be!" Their mom scowled as she stormed over to Kaoru. "What did you think you were doing?"

"I was going out to see a friend, and I knew you'd say no if I asked this early in the morning. Personally, I think you should be less worried since it was a friend of mine and not Hikaru. I'd be pretty worried if I were you and we just ran off in the morning. You overreact," Kaoru scolded, that annoyance becoming more evident and he started to storm off towards the stairs, but his mother had a question for him before he left off into his room.

"Why didn't Hikaru know where you were?"

"We don't HAVE to have the same friends, ma."

Yes, Kaoru was going to be a tough case to get through before he moved out of the house. Kaoru seemed to be at the breaking point of "moving out" right now with the way things were. Hikaru was worried about him, why was his brother acting like this? Why did he go outside, disobeying their mother, to see NEKOZAWA?

"I'll talk to him," Hikaru responded as he ran up the stairs and into his old bedroom where Kaoru sat. It was obvious now, that Kaoru's ankle didn't hurt anymore and he could've went back to school anytime this week. "Kaoru?"

Kaoru grunted and curled up a little tighter on his bed. "What, tattle tale?"

Hikaru blinked and raised an eyebrow before he went to sit down next to his brother. He looked into Kaoru's eyes, trying to see anything despite that anger and annoyance that burned so bright in those crystaline and angelic eyes that Hikaru used to love to stare in so often when they were younger.

"What happened?"

Kaoru sighed and explained it slowly, "I didn't want to be here. So I ran off outside and I stopped at the park when my lungs were about to burst. Umehito found me there and he took me off to his house to warm me up and get my breathing back to normal. So I hung out there for awhile and we talked and played around. That's all that happened."

"Didn't want to be here?" Hikaru wondered aloud.

"After... yesterday," Kaoru hushed his voice. "I'm... sorry."

"Where were you planning on going?" Hikaru wondered again, a bit of concern evident in his voice. "Kaoru?"

Kaoru wouldn't look at Hikaru. Hikaru wasn't sure if he should take that a good sign or a bad sign. Where DID Kaoru plan on going? Somewhere where he'd never see his family ever again? Somewhere where he'd freeze-

Hikaru shook his head, he didn't want to think of Kaoru as suicidal. Not Kaoru, he'd never go that far.

"Nowhere."

Now Hikaru was really worried about his younger brother. Why would Kaoru want to go _nowhere?_

_To die,_ something said in Hikaru's mind. Was that Kaoru? Or himself? Or... someone else?

Hikaru tried to wrap his arms around Kaoru, but Kaoru pulled away and sat, curled up into a ball on his bed. He shook his head and hid it in his knees, wanting Hikaru to leave. Hikaru tried to touch his brother, but he was afraid that maybe it would be cold and lifeless. He couldn't believe he was thinking like that, Kaoru wasn't one of those emo freaks. Kaoru was his twin brother, and if Kaoru was emo or suicidal, Hikaru'd know, right? Maybe Kaoru was suicidal, maybe Hikaru did know. Maybe Hikaru just didn't want to believe it, so he denied it's existence, the possibility.

"With Nekozawa?"

"He's not as bad as you think," Kaoru snapped, raising his head out of his knees to glare at Hikaru.

"Nekozawa? He's a freak, Kaoru," Hikaru continued to bash, unknowning what to do, he just wanted to hear Kaoru's voice. Even if it was bitterly tipped and hurt to hear them, for Hikaru knew they were meant to hurt Hikaru. Hikaru's words were ice tipped too, so he was just getting what he deserved.

"No he's not."

"Nekozawa... he's like, a freaky russian for one, he worships a CAT! Come on, Kaoru, a cat! What can a stupid furrball do? They're afraid of living cats? That's just idiotic, and that black magic crap, who the hell does he-"

Kaoru leaped onto Hikaru and wrapped his hands around Hikaru's throat.

"Shut up, you don't know him!" Kaoru spat, tightening his grip.

Hikaru winced and Kaoru's eyes opened wide and he quickly removed his hands and scooted back up to the bedframe.

"Just, shut up, Hikaru."

Hikaru sat up and blinked a couple times to make sure this was real. Had Kaoru just... assaulted him?

"You're crazy," Hikaru finally realized what all his thoughts were trying to tell him. "You're insane."

"I am not!" Kaoru snarled. "I'm just different, and you don't like that."

"You're crazy!"

"I AM NOT!" Kaoru snapped as he reached out and missed Hikaru because he stood up. Hikaru stared down at his brother, he couldn't believe this. His brother was psychotic, and if he was psychotic, why the hell wouldn't he be suicidal?

"Mom!" Hikaru shouted as he dashed out of the room. He stumbled down the stairs and fell at the end, but quickly rited himself before his mom could help. Sure, he hurt really bad, but he needed to get this out before Kaoru assaulted him again. "Kaoru's insane! He just tried to kill me, and I think he likes black magic and horror movies, and he's suicidal, and everything! He tried to run-"

"Liar!" Kaoru shouted as he completely skipped the stairs and hit the middle of the stair case with his feet and he landed on top of Hikaru. Kaoru moaned along with Hikaru and he wasn't even in the mood to do anything about the pain in him and his anger towards his brother. "He's a liar! He's just jealous that I have friends!"

"You're a liar!" Hikaru snapped.

"You are!"

"YOU are!"

"Stop it!" Their dad scolded. "Would you two?"

"Dad!" The two asked as they looked up to see their father. Kaoru blushed slightly as he was in a kind of uncomfortable position that Hikaru must've not noticed. Kaoru's legs were wrapped around one of Hikaru's legs and Hikaru was sprawled out on his back under him and their heads were right next to eachother and Kaoru's hands were ontop of Hikaru's. "Dad, we're sorry."

"You're in tenth grade! You shouldn't act like this!" Their dad continued.

Everyone blinked, their dad had never talked this much to the kids. Kaoru and Hikaru rarely knew their dad could talk, of course, their mom knew that before she married him, he just didn't like to talk unless he needed to.

"Sorry dad."

"You better be, worrying your poor mother with your actions," He scolded again and looked at their mom. "Let's let them figure this out."

"HE'S INSANE!" Hikaru shouted as they were about to leave. "He's crazy!"

Kaoru slapped his hands onto Hikaru's mouth.

"You're a DAMN LIAR!" Kaoru shouted.

"When will you two stop fighting?" Their mother scowled.

"When he gets mental help!" Hikaru shouted once he started getting Kaoru's hands off of his mouth. "He's seriously psychotic!"

"LIAR!" Kaoru yelled, tightening his hands on Hikaru's mouth, leaving fingernail marks. "You a dirty damn liar! I can't wait until you die or we move apart! I can't STAND YOU! I wish... you'd die! I hope you really do go to hell!"

"If I do you'll be there first, you suicidal fre-" Hikaru snarled through Kaoru's hands.

Kaoru climbed up and pushed Hikaru's face into the carpet.

"You liar!"

"What's going on?" Haruhi's voice came, confused. "The door was open and I heard these scre-"

She blinked at the two boys struggling on the floor, and the parents watching them with sincere concern. They'd never had to worry about this kind of thing before, because the twins loved eachother so much, they'd never fought or got mad. They agreed on everything.

"You dirty lying bastard!" Kaoru snarled as he shoved Hikaru's further into the carpet, like maybe he thought that the carpet could sink farther as he pushed on Hikaru's head. Hikaru's legs wriggled and hit Kaoru's head and Kaoru plummeted forward, hitting his head into the wall. "You bastard!"

"You're crazy!" Hikaru shouted as he finally got his head up, breathing heavily from lack of oxygen. "You almost killed me!"

"I can do better than that if I wanted to kill you," Kaoru growled and leaped back onto Hikaru.

"Stop it!" Haruhi shouted at them. "You idiots!"

The two began to try to pull out eachothers hair now. Haruhi prayed that this was a joke, but it didn't seem likely. It really looked like they were trying to kill eachother. Kaoru seemed to be winning too, which kind of surprised Haruhi and their parents.

"You idiots!" Lex's voice snarled as she walked into the house. "What are you doing now?"

The two stopped for a moment to look at that little devil. Rage filled Kaoru and he began trying to push Hikaru down onto the floor, trying to get a grip on Hikaru's neck. Hikaru's legs flailed and he tried to hit Kaoru's head again, but Kaoru slammed them together with his own legs on the outer.

"You're crazy," Hikaru huffed.

"Only as crazy as you," Kaoru snarled.

"Then I must be pretty crazy."

Kaoru pushed down harder on Hikaru's neck until someone picked Kaoru up and he started lashing out.

"LET ME GO!" Kaoru screamed.

Haruhi dashed over to Hikaru and helped Hikaru up and she set him on the couch, looking over what all Kaoru had done to him.

"Calm down," The person soothed to Kaoru as they set him down on another couch and tried to calm him down. Kaoru was still so furious, he didn't want to calm down. Finally, Kaoru ended up breaking down into tears. "See, isn't crying so much better than hurting him?"

"Noooo," Kaoru cried. "He deserved it! He's trying to get rid of me!"

"Wouldn't you be sad if you accidentally killed him?"

Kaoru sniffled and rubbed a tear from his face.

"I wouldn't kill him."

"What if you did though?"

Kaoru began sobbing again, "Then I'd die too, we're twins! That's how it works."

Hikaru sat with Haruhi and Lex, staring at Kaoru sobbing to the person infront of him. Hikaru felt kind of jealous that this person again, was higher on Kaoru's list. Or maybe, because Kaoru got so mad, Hikaru was actually higher on Kaoru's list? Kaoru never got mad, Kaoru never acted out. This was the rarest thing anyone had seen. Depressingly, the rest of the Host Club had seen it, because they were at the Hitachiin's house to look for Kaoru and when they'd gotten back they witnessed the fight. Their parents told them not to interfere, for they wanted the kids to figure this out themselves.

"It's alright, Kaoru, you're forgiven," The person tried to soothe.

Kaoru pushed them away.

"I want Hikaru!" Kaoru cried. "I don't want you! I want my Hikaru! Where is he?"

Hikaru refused to listen to anyone else's words and he ran over to Kaoru and leaped into a hug. Kaoru hugged him back and sobbed.

"I'm sorry!" They both cried.

**

* * *

**

**Nekozawa's POV**

That was one of the wildest things ever.

I go out to walk before the sun comes up, like I usually do. On my walk I ran into Kaoru. He was sobbing and crying and having trouble breathing. He was also frozen to the bone, so I invited him to my mansion until he was better. Kirimi was quite fond of him and was all over him, asking him to tell her stories about princes and shojo and stuff, which Kaoru did a bit of. I was surprised at him. I gave him a Bereznef puppet. He hid it in his pocket after his parents had called.

I followed him, incase I needed to apologize for what I did, or something like that. The next thing I know, the sun is out, so I hid behind a tree. That one guy, Fujioka came up. Only, Fujioka didn't look like a guy. Was Fujioka really a girl? Or just a REALLY good crossdresser?

Anyway, after that, I followed behind him and this little black-haired girl whom I remember quite well... she tried to kill me, how could I forget her?

Well, I came in, and the twins were murdering eachother. No one did anything about it, so finally, when I knew it had gone too far and wasn't going to stop, I picked Kaoru up by his stomach and forced him to sit on a couch and calmed down. Of course, he started crying and sobbing again. So his brother came to his rescue.

I guess everyone knows Kaoru was lying about his ankle now. That's not too big a deal, anymore. After what Kaoru had told me when he was at me house though, about why he was running away, and how he wouldn't have cared if he freezed to death...

**I can see that the fight started with good intentions from at least **_**one**_** of the twins.**


	38. Seperation?

**The Twenty-Sixth Day**

"You whore," Hikaru swore at Kaoru as they both had to stay home from Kaoru's beating up.

"What's that for?"

"First you love Chris, then me, then Haruhi, and now Nekozawa," Hikaru spat, angry at Kaoru.

Kaoru clenched his fists, trying not to punch his brother. Kaoru grinded his teeth a bit too before he finally objected, "For your information, I don't love Umehito, and I never loved Chris. I also never said that I loved Haruhi! I just like her, okay? The only one I know I love is you. Now I doubt that."

Hikaru felt like hitting his brother now too, it didn't matter to either that they had just almost killed eachother the night before. They were still furious at eachother, for everything. Kaoru for Hikaru calling him insane and suicidal, and now for calling him a whore. Hikaru for Kaoru going out with Haruhi when he knew that Hikaru liked Haruhi as more than a friend. It was all they could to not attack the other person and rip them to shreds. Hikaru was certain he wouldn't lose this time, Hikaru was determined to beat the snot out of this over-arrogant brat that he used to call his twin brother.

"I'd win."

Kaoru couldn't take that and he leaped at Hikaru and punched him in the face.

"Get off me!" Hikaru snarled as he shoved his hand in Kaoru's face and pushed him away. Kaoru punched Hikaru again. "Kaoru! Get off me!"

"Kaoru, get off me," Kaoru mocked, in anger. He brought his leg up further onto the bed and dug into Hikaru's stomach, making Hikaru yelp and tug on Kaoru's hair. "Stop it, Hikaru! Knock it off!"

"What's going on?" Tamaki and Nekozawa both asked as they walked into the room.

"He started it!" They both chimed. "No! You did! You did! Stop copying me! You did it!"

Nekozawa sighed and walked over and pulled Kaoru off.

"Let's go downstairs," Nekozawa sighed.

"Let me at him!" Kaoru snarled. "He called me a whore!"

"You punched me!"

"You tried to push in my face!"

"You tried to push your knee through my stomach!" Hikaru yelled right back, sitting up and preparing to punch Kaoru.

Kaoru seethed and struggled. "Oh yeah? Well you aggrivated me!"

Nekozawa sighed, shook his head, and walked out with Kaoru in his arms. Kaoru continued to struggle and scream and Tamaki sat down with Hikaru. Hikaru groaned and looked away from Tamaki, closing his eyes tight.

"You wanna stay at my house for awhile?" Tamaki whispered, scared of Hikaru's anger. He was scared of this, the twins never fought. Never for real, anyway.

Hikaru shook his head. "I wanna... I want... Kaoru to be happy again."

He shook his head again and he choked and whimpered and tears began to fall down his face. Tamaki sighed and scooted closer to Hikaru and wrapped his arm around Hikaru's shoulders. This was serious, this wasn't a little fight that only went on at school. This was a life or death fight between these two. Keeping them supervised and apart meant life, letting them stay together and letting them fight was death. Tamaki whispered, "Kaoru needs time alone, aggra-"

"He started it!" Hikaru shouted. "He did!"

"I'm sure he di-"

"That's why you're outsiders! You're all stupid!" Hikaru screamed and Tamaki scooted away.

"I won't talk to you if I have to risk my life," Tamaki warned. "Not my beautiful and wonderful life."

"We should've never listened to you!" Hikaru yelled.

Hikaru pushed Tamaki down onto the bed, rage eating at his mind, tears falling down his face. Hikaru didn't know what to do, and his hands itched to hurt something, his mind wanted to see something hurt, that fight between him and Kaoru was just too much, and Hikaru needed to something to get his anger out on. Unfortunately, Tamaki was the only thing Kaoru could hurt in the room.

"This is all your fault!" Hikaru screamed at Tamaki. "We should've never listened to you! We could still be in our world and none of this would've ever happened! I don't want Kaoru to hate me! I don't want Kaoru with Haruhi! This is all YOUR fault!"

Tamaki blinked his eyes to keep himself from tearing up, because Hikaru was right.

It was all his fault.

"I'm sorry I made you join, I'm sorry I made Haruhi join," Tamaki apologized. "I'm sorry for anything wrong I've done to you twins, ever. I really didn't mean to hurt you guys, I just wanted to let you know about the outside world, that it wasn't just you two in the whole world."

"Maybe it was better when WE were the world, hmm? What then?" Hikaru continued, angrily.

"I'm sorry I made you try something new."

Tamaki pushed Hikaru off of him and left the house. Hikaru stared at the door.

"Milord..."

**

* * *

**_**Hitachiin Household: Alone With Hikaru**_

Kaoru was gone.

Again.

Only this time, Hikaru knew where he was. Where he wasn't.

Kaoru was at Haruhi's house, and he was going to stay with Lex and Haruhi until this had been resolved. The teachers had moved their seating places, no matter what happened, Kaoru was always by Haruhi, and Hikaru ended up alone. It was sickening.

Hikaru lay in his room alone, sobbing, and afraid.

"I want my Kaoru..." Hikaru sobbed, imagining his little brother Haruhi and his sobs grew even louder. It didn't matter though, without Kaoru there and with Hikaru there, no one need to watch the house. So the maids were at their own homes and their parents were off doing something in another city, or even country. Hikaru was left all alone, because Hikaru wasn't the crazy suicidal one, Kaoru was. "I want Kaoru!"

Hikaru sat up, got up, and walked to "Kaoru's" bedroom, the bedroom that used to be theirs. Hikaru sat down on the bed and pulled a pillow close to him, a pillow that Kaoru slept on, a pillow they shared before this all happened. Before that demon appeared. Hikaru whined and whimpered and cried, holding that pillow against his chest, tears flowing out of his eyes and down his face. He kept whimpering his brothers name, for he didn't want anything that people could give him. He wanted that one thing so many adults want, he wanted his childhood back. Hikaru wanted everything to be simple again, Hikaru and Kaoru. Nothing else had ever mattered. It was just those two against the rest of the world again. That could never happen though. It was all gone now, their world no longer existed. All that was left was ruins. Oh, how both brothers longed for that isolation again. To feel the other's body so close to theirs, the other not knowing how they really felt. That was the good days.

The good days no longer existed.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru whined. He buried his head into the pillow, no matter what he did, he couldn't stop that overflowing sadness, the unfullfilment. Did Hikaru really love Haruhi, or was it Kaoru he loved? Did Kaoru just mistake Hikaru's love for Kaoru and jealously that Kaoru liked Haruhi as Hikaru actually loving Haruhi? It was all confusing to Hikaru, he was so blind. He never even realized how embarassed he'd gotten around Haruhi, it was like a child they were. Hikaru didn't know it was love because he never felt it for anyone except Kaoru, so he thought it was natural.

Wait, Hikaru felt that way about Kaoru?

It was all so confusing to Hikaru, he didn't know who he loved. He didn't know what to do. The one he loved more than anything, the one who kept him company at night, absolutely hated his guts and wasn't with him that night.

Hikru layed down on Kaoru's bed, trying to get to sleep. He couldn't though, he couldn't get Kaoru off of his mind. He couldn't sleep with that body next to him. So he decided that he'd go to school the next day with lack of sleep. It didn't matter. Nothing really mattered when Kaoru was mad at him, nothing could ever matter when his twin wanted to rip his guts out. Hikaru closed his eyes, in hopes of sleeping, but nothing came.

"What should I do?" Hikaru wondered. "Maybe get him something to end this fight?"

Hikaru thought about it for a little while, he sucked at making stuff, so he'd have to buy something... or, he could ask someone at school for help and skip club to make Kaoru something that should make him happy. Yes, that'd work perfectly. So Hikaru sat, pondering what to make...

**

* * *

**

**Kaoru's POV**

I left to Haruhi's house, because I was so afraid that I'd strangle Hikaru. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up sneaking into Haruhi's bed. It wasn't that big of a deal, since I'm not the kind to do dirty things, and after that traumatic experience, it was even more unlikely. Haruhi's really nice and comfy, and really warm. She wasn't Hikaru though. Gosh, I thought I got over Hikaru! Now I can stop thinking about him. I don't think... I'll be able to sleep tonight.

**Oh well, it's good to have a drug dealer as a friend.**


	39. Cellphones and Needles

**Note: Yes, I did get the twins messed up in the last chapter, a couple times. I got a couple words messed up too. Sorry.**

**The Twenty-Seventh Day**_** Saturday**_

Hikaru moaned as he opened his eyes. He'd forgotten about the night before, he couldn't remember anything, he looked at the clock, it was all blurry. What time was it before Hikaru finally got to sleep? It was about six A.M. Hikaru remembered and the clock finally came into focus, it was seven o'clock, and when Hikaru woke up, he was still in his sleep phase. What woke him up? His natural internal clock.

"Oh God! School!" Hikaru remembered and he dashed to the closet and began pulling on clothes, and he realized that Kaoru wasn't there. Kaoru wasn't rushing to quickly get dressed either. So where he was he? "Oh yeah, Kaoru slept over at Haruhi's yesterday. Wasn't yesterday Friday? Then why am I putting my clothes for school on, today isn't a school day, is it? Whatever, I need to call someone and then we can start making that 'forgive-me' gift."

**

* * *

**_**Fujioka Household**_

"Hello?" A maid's voice came into the speaker.

"Umm, is Hikaru there?" Kaoru asked, sitting on the toilet in Haruhi's bathroom. He'd be worrying all night, and he decided to see how Hikaru felt before he did anything rash. He wasn't going to call a drug dealer and accidentally die when there was no reason to. "No? Where is he?"

"Well, he's here, but he's busy."

"Busy?" Kaoru questioned. What could Hikaru be doing?

"One sec," The maid replied and her voice became more distant. "Hikaru-sama! Kaoru-sama's on the phone for you!"

Footsteps came heavily and Kaoru could hear the phone being snatched from the maid as the quick words, partially still muffled, gasped into his side of the phone reciever. "Hello? Kaoru! Is that you?"

Kaoru laughed, "What? Glad to hear me?"

Even through the phone, Kaoru could see Hikaru's blush and Kaoru felt at ease. His stupid, silly, older brother. Yes, that was his Hikaru, the Hikaru he loved so much. Hikaru finally responded, still huffing and rushed, "Of course not, what gave you that idea?"

"Oh, I dunno, the sound of you tripping and falling on the floor just to talk to me."

"Well, that's what you wish it was, my friends just left their stuff all over the floor, so it was really hard to manuever."

Kaoru's throat choked and he sat there, dazed. Hikaru had other friends, too? Was Hikaru just trying to get back at Kaoru, or did Hikaru seriously know people that Kaoru didn't. Kaoru felt like whining and crying to his brother, begging him to forgive him. Kaoru held himself back though, he wasn't going to give in this time, Hikaru was going to have to say he was sorry. Unfortunately, Kaoru knew that Hikaru was very stubborn, so he felt that they were going to be fighting for along time. This depressed Kaoru greatly, but he wasn't going to give in, Hikaru had to learn that Kaoru wasn't always gonna be there, that Kaoru wasn't always going to crawl to Hikaru's aide when Kaoru didn't really do anything wrong.

"Why were you running in the first place?" Kaoru teased. "Because you were excited to hear from me."

"Was not."

"You were, and I'd like you to know something else, Haruhi's a really good sleeping buddy," Kaoru bragged, hoping to get Hikaru worked up. If Hikaru was going to tease Kaoru, Karou was going to tease Hikaru. Kaoru wouldn't give in. "I slept with her last night and I got to cuddle her too. Too bad for you though, I guess. Oh yeah, she's much more wonderful to cuddle and much more soft than you Hikaru."

Kaoru could tell Hikaru was seething, and this made him smile.

"You only climb into other people's beds when you're having a nightmare. What were you dreaming of this time?" Hikaru teased right back.

Kaoru snarled, "I just couldn't sleep, okay?"

"Why did you call so early, anyway? It's not even eight."

Kaoru was about to reply that he was hiding in their bathroom, on his cellphone because he missed Hikaru's voice. He knew that Hikaru would just use that against him though, so he decided not to say that.

"Sorry for interupting you and your friends," Kaoru hissed and hung up his phone. "Stupid brother."

Kaoru huddled up as he sat on the toilet. He began to cry a bit.

He picked up his phone and called Hikaru back.

"Hello?" Came Hikaru's voice.

Kaoru wanted to cry to him, to say how much he missed his voice. Kaoru didn't want to be in a fight with Hikaru anymore, he wanted his brother back, his loving and caring and stupid older twin brother.

"Hello?" Hikaru asked again. "Is this a prank call? I thought I heard Kaoru's ring tone."

"H-hi," Kaoru finally spoke.

"Kaoru? Are you okay?" Hikaru cooed.

Kaoru began sobbing quietly, wanting to hold the body that went along with that voice, that beautiful body.

"Are you crying?"

Kaoru shook his head, and realized that Hikaru couldn't see him. Kaoru was about to reply when Hikaru interupted him.

"I see, well, are you okay? I can get a limo to go pick you up, or yo-No, nevermind, you stay at Haruhi's today," Hikaru started then changed his mind. Kaoru cried a little harder and shook his head more.

"I want y-" Kaoru started to admit but stopped when he realized that he wanted Hikaru to give in first.

"What, miss me?"

"No! No way!"

Kaoru shut off his phone and held it to his lips.

"Yes," Kaoru sobbed, his body shaking. "Yes... I miss you..."

Kaoru called Hikaru back on his phone.

"What Kaoru?" Hikaru growled.

"I... just... wanted to, hear your voice," Kaoru admitted.

Hikaru stopped and Kaoru could hear him take a breath and Kaoru began crying again.

"Kaoru? Are you okay?" Hikaru worried.

"Fine as long as I don't see you," Kaoru lied and hung up his phone and threw it in the garbage and rubbed his eyes. Now he decided that when he went to get a new phone for himself, he'd get one for Kyoya like was promised. Kaoru didn't want to be tempted to call Hikaru.

Because the pain was intense.

"Kaoru? Why were you in the bathroom for so long?" Haruhi wondered as she was giving Lex her cereal. Kaoru blushed and looked away and Haruhi got suspicious. "Umm, you weren't harassing Hikaru, were you?"

"Harassing? Ah, no," Kaoru replied, nervously. "I dropped my cell in the toilet and was trying to get it out, but it messed up, so I-"

Kaoru's ringtone for Hikaru hit everyone's ears.

"Messed up, huh?"

Kaoru smiled, turned around, and glared at the bathroom. _Stupid cellphone._

**

* * *

**_**Hitachiin Household**_

Hikaru was busy learning how to sew, but he was so worried about Kaoru.

_"I just wanted to hear your voice."_

Hikaru wouldn't admit it, but he was glad Kaoru called, for he was missing his brother's voice too. He was hoping to get this project done so Kaoru could come back home so he could sleep again. He was exhausted.

"Hikaru, you're sewing your finger to the fabric," The girl pointed out to Hikaru. Hikaru spazzed and pulled his finger up, which was partially hand sewn onto the fabric. "I don't think I can remove that, I think we need the hospital."

_Great, now I'll never finish this._ Hikaru scowled at himself. _This is what you get for thinking about your twin brother as more than a brother. I guess God is trying to teach me a lesson, but it isn't going over too well._

One of the boys there picked up Hikaru's cellphone to call Kaoru, he just thought that Kaoru should know about this.

"Stop!" Hikaru shouted just when Kaoru picked up. "Hang up!"

"Wha-?" Kaoru asked through phone right when he got hung up on.

"Why don't you want Kaoru-kun to know?" The boy asked, a little nervous because this had never happened to him before.

"I don't want him to know that I'm making this for him."

"Oh, I see."

So, they called Kyoya, and he got Hikaru into a private room where they quickly removed the fabric and thread and sewed up his finger. Hikaru wanted there to be some other way, but he'd sewn over half his finger, so they had to give him stitches. Hikaru was awake through the whole thing, for he couldn't sleep with the gas without tossing and turning, so they numbed him. The pain was excruciating, which Hikaru felt was his punishment for thinking about his brother. It didn't hurt as much as thinking about Kaoru never talking to him again though, so endured it, and didn't listen to "God's" warning.

"What a day," Hikaru moaned as he sat down, ready to sew this stuffed animal together.

Everyone told him it was a bad idea, and they should wait. Hikaru couldn't wait. He had to get this done so he could get a good night sleep Sunday night, so he'd be ready for school. He doubted he could get it done that night and have Kaoru home with him.

Hikaru wanted Kaoru back, even if it meant surgery with him awake.

So, Hikaru sewed and sewed, he now knew the basics and was told what to do, so they left him when their parents called. Hikaru stayed up late into the night sewing. He had a bunch of pokes on his hands, and the knuckles were cramped from so much handwork, and his fingertips were sore from threading the needle so much. Still, he continued to sew it together, even when it was done and stuffed, Hikaru decided to add the furr effect to it.

It was well into the next before Hikaru crashed and got an hour of sleep before starting his project again.

**

* * *

**

**The Sewing Club Leader**

Well, Hikaru-kun sure is dedicated to what he does. We were at his house, teaching him what to do, when he sewed his finger to some pink, polyester practice fabric we were using. He was rushed to one of the Oohtori hospitals and he was fixed up. When he came home, he began sewing again! It's like, the finger wasn't enough for him. He didn't even tell us why he wanted to sew, he just did, so we taught him. Then he began making a stuffed animal.

We helped him a bit, but then my mom called and their dads and moms called too, so we all went home together.

Hikaru-kun was still working when we left, and he was getting really good, it almost looked like an animal you could sell in the stores. Maybe he has a natural knack for sewing? Probably, since his mom's a fashion designer of her own brand.

**The person who gets that is sure gonna be happy.**


	40. Religion is Yuck

**The Twenty-Eight Day**

"It's time for church, your brother'll be there too," Hikaru's mom snapped as she walked into the living room, where Hikaru had just finished and wrapped his present in a box for Kaoru. Hikaru moaned that he didn't get much sleep this weekend. "That's your fault! Staying up late, doing something late into the night, what was that anyway?"

"Something," Hikaru muttered.

Hikaru brought his majestically wrapped present with him. He decided to give it to Kaoru after church.

"Hello," Kaoru hissed as he climbed into the car next to Hikaru. His hand itched and he had to torture himself not to hold Hikaru's hand. Kaoru looked at Hikaru and smlied softly with kind eyes. "Miss me?"

Hikaru looked at Kaoru and smiled and whispered, "Yes."

Kaoru was surprised. Usually his brother would give him some crackpot joke about how he could never miss his little brother. Kaoru reached for Hikaru's hand and held it, giving it a squeeze. That's all Kaoru could do. He wanted Hikaru to apologize first. He wasn't going to give in.

"Church is gonna hate us," Hikaru noted.

Their mother shook her head and she turned to look into the back at the boys. Their father also gave them a glare.

"Don't talk like that. You two need help, serious help. Brothers aren't supposed to try to kill eachother, much less TWIN brothers! You two need to be forgiven by the preacher, maybe then everything will be all better. Maybe you'll stop longing for eachother too, I haven't done anything about it for a long time, but I think it's about time that I do, for this is getting too much out of hand," Their mother scolded and scowled. "I won't put any other rules on you, I just want you two to treat eachother as brothers, not lovers. Do you understand what I'm asking of you two? I don't want anymore 'love' scenes or 'murder' scenes. Got it?"

"Love scenes?" The two asked at the same time.

"Sex scenes if you will."

Their faces went white.

_They knew?_

Kaoru squeezed tighter on Hikaru's hand and whispered, "I feel sick and light headed, they shouldn't make me do this."

"I bet I feel worse," Hikaru groaned.

"Maybe you do," Kaoru hissed. "But I haven't been able to sleep for the past two nights because of you! You owe me big time, mister. I missed out on quality sleep, and all that time I had to snuggle up with Haruhi. It's hard snuggling up to someone besides you."

"I got three hours this weekend," Hikaru hissed right back. "Don't give me that."

Kaoru blinked. That was a lot less than he got.

"Three hours?" Kaoru asked, amazed.

"Two, actually. One hour Friday night, one hour last night."

Kaoru squeezed Hikaru's hand in a, _"I'm sorry."_

"It's okay."

"Can I come tonight?" Kaoru asked, quietly.

Hikaru looked away.

"If YOU _want _to, I guess," Hikaru replied, slyly.

"Well, I thought you wanted me," Kaoru spat.

"Maybe I don't?"

Kaoru looked away, annoyed.

"Fine, I won't come home. You can sleep alone," Kaoru cursed.

"Good, I don't want you with me, my dream come true," Hikaru snapped.

Kaoru turned back to him and grabbed his collar and raised his fist to him. Hikaru just blinked.

"I dare you, I'd win this time," Hikaru hissed.

"That's what you said last time."

"I mean it too."

Kaoru's hand shot to Hikaru's throat and he choked against his seatbelt, but he didn't care. He was going to teach this kid a lesson, how dare he tease him? That's a horrible thing to do, but Kaoru still didn't have to right to try to beat Hikaru down. Hikaru kicked Kaoru's stomach and the two struggled. The parents had closed their window to the back to allow the boys to talk to eachother in private.

"You're a bastard!" Kaoru choked as unbuckled his seatbelt and attacked his brother. Hikaru had unbuckled at the same time and kicked his brother in the stomach and threw him onto the floor. They were in a special area that their parents had made so no one on the road would see the twins and give them weird looks for how they acted. The Hitachiin family didn't want any more grief. The relatives were already upset that they were two _male_ twins and not two _female _twins. They were always bugging the parents to have a daughter, for females were of the stronger lineage in their family. "I wish you'd die!"

"You wish, but I know when you're gonna die, you suicidal freak!" Hikaru snarled, completely forgetting about how he wanted to make up with his brother. He shot his leg up and kicked into Kaoru's abdomen hard, and reached a hand for Kaoru's neck and squeezed it. "Want me to kill you instead?"

Kaoru whined and started lashing his hands out at Hikaru, digging his fingernails in anywhere he could. The two continued fighting until they arrived at the church and the parents pulled them apart and into the church.

"I hate you!" Kaoru yelled at Hikaru. "I hate you so much!"

Hikaru shook his head and drowned out his brother.

"Mommy, you do realize services ended hours ago, right?" Hikaru asked, snottily.

"Yes, I do know that, you two are getting private prayers by my request!" Their mom snapped at the two and dragged them to the sanctuary. "Pastor, Sire? I brought my children in that need help."

"Ah, the bi-polar twins?" The preecher joked as he turned around to face the family.

"Bi-polar?" The twins snarled in unusion. "You're crazy."

The pastor frowned.

"You two are-" He started. "Do you know a little girl named Lex Parlor?"

The two blinked. Was this the same religious Lex they both despised?

"Lex? Haruhi's babysitting child?" The twins asked, ignoring the fact that the other said the exact same words. They were trying to drown out the other person, they were still so mad at them. "Her mom's in the hospital? Black hair? Amber eyes? Annoying and super religious?"

He raised an eyebrow, but nodded.

"I wouldn't... say she's annoying."

The twins nodded, "Yes she is!"

The past walked up to the twins and knelt in front of them and replied, "Haruhi-chan brings Lex here every Sunday. Lex talks about you two a lot, and wishes that you'd repent for what you've done. I guess your parents have even realized that now too. Are you ready to apologize for your sins?"

Kaoru's throat tightened and he screamed, "It's all her fault! Not mine!"

Hikaru stared at Kaoru, longingly.

"Her fault?"

"She made me lie even more! She's a horrible creature!" Kaoru continued to yell and scold. "I hate her! She's ruined my life! She made me-"

"She can't make you do anything," The pastor pointed out.

Kaoru's hands twitched.

"You litt-"

Hikaru got out of his mother's grasp and he lunged onto his brother, trying to look violent. He just didn't want Kaoru to lunge on the pastor and get in huge trouble, he knew his twin all too well, and he didn't want Kaoru to get charged for assault.

"GET OFF ME!" Kaoru screamed and pushed on Hikaru's face. "Leave me alone!"

"Hikaru? Kaoru?" Haruhi and Lex asked as they walked into the sanctuary. "We heard they were praying for two bad twins, so we thought it might be you guys. Guess we were right. What did you two do this time?"

"He attacked me!" Kaoru screamed and pushed Hikaru off of him. "I wanna go home with Haruhi."

"Stop it," Their mother replied, concerned. "You two really need help, and I don't know what to do with you children."

Kaoru sobbed and sat there and the pastor put the twins right next to eachother and knelt down behind them and put his hands on each one's head.

"Oh Dear Godly Father, please forgive these two, for they do not know what they are doing..."

_Oh hell yes I know what I'm doing. You won't get me to say I'm sorry for anything I've to, and with, Hikaru, _Kaoru cursed to himself during the prayer.

"...when they are together. Please forgive them Father, they're here to repent for having sex, and for trying to murder the other person..."

_I'm sorry for trying to kill him. Not for sex though._

"...please take them under you wing, Father," The pastor finished.

Kaoru clenched his teeth.

"And they all said?" The pastor nudged the twins.

"Amen," The twins cursed through their teeth.

They both felt the same way though. They were sorry for trying to kill eachother, but neither wanted to apologize for having sex. No, that was something they did on their own free will, sure, they could be forgiven for the first one, for they did not know what they were doing. Everytime after that though, that wasn't history, that was feelings, and the twins admitting their feelings to eachother without words.

Hikaru and Kaoru would never regret falling in love.

"Oh yeah," Hikaru remembered his present as Kaoru was starting to get out of the car at Haruhi's house. "Here."

Hikaru gave Kaoru the box which held the present he labored so hard on throughout that weekend.

Kaoru teared the paper off, not knowing what to expect. A trick? Something funny? An actual present? Some store-bought crap?

The boy now stood, outside of the car, staring teary eyed at the stuffed... dog?... wolf?... stuffed wolf in his hands. He began crying and held it close to him.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru whispered as he closed his door and the limo pulled away.

Kaoru stroked the furr of the animal, and he could tell that his brother had made it. Those hands, that could be so soft and delicate when the user wanted them to be, those hands had to have made it. Just the thought of it, and the days events, made Kaoru break down into a sobbing mess, right there on the sidewalk infront of Haruhi's apartment. Haruhi and Lex tried to get him inside, but Kaoru just didn't want to budge. He wanted his brother.

Eventually, Kaoru went inside, and he wouldn't let the stuffed animal out of his arms.

"You might get it dirty," Ranka pointed out at supper time.

Kaoru shook his head and he looked at the food.

"I... I'm not hungry," Kaoru whispered.

He just had to go home.

He couldn't sleep alone again.

Kaoru told them he was leaving, and before anyone could object, he dashed out of the apartment complex and ran towards him home, holding the stuffed wolf close. He didn't want to let it go, and he had to see the maker. He needed to see his Hikaru.

Kaoru dashed through the door, past his parents, into the living room, where Hikaru was talking to Mori and Kaoru lept into Hikaru's arms.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru sobbed.

Hikaru blinked and wrapped his arms around Kaoru.

"Hunny's in the other room if you want to talk to him. I'm talking about something... important to Mori right now," Hikaru scowled.

Kaoru cried and rubbed his face into Hikaru's shirt and he pulled the stuffed animal tighter.

"I want you!" Kaoru cried.

Mori smiled and got Hunny and they left, to come back after school on Monday.

"That was quite a scene, assaulting me in my own house," Hikaru laughed as he rubbed the shampoo into Kaoru's hair as they sat together in the bathtub. Kaoru sniffled and shook his head.

"Mh-hm, not after what you did," Kaoru whispered, his voice cracking.

"Don't be such a baby."

"I missed you!" Kaoru sobbed as he turned around and glomped his brother, he rubbed his face against Hikaru's. **((A Tamaki, Kyoya action, lol))**

Hikaru smiled and wrapped his arms around his brother as they both sat in the tub, bare yet again.

"You baby."

**

* * *

**

**Mori's POV**

Hikaru asked me to come to his house today. He was confused about something.

He told me about how he had feelings for Haruhi, yet he did have feelings for Kaoru as well. I didn't really know what to tell him, because Kaoru dashed into the room.

**Well, those two are really close. I need to go now though, I'm tired.**


	41. Normal?

**Note: Wow guys, sorry that this one is so short. I haven't been having many updates for this one lately because I was waiting for more reviews, and I got caught up in writing other stories... as you can see in the very first line... Anyway, I won't be here this weekend, visiting relatives, so don't let that go against my updating record. lol.**

**The Twenty-Ninth Day**

Kaoru sobbed and snuggled up to Hikaru. **((Wow! I was just about to write he snuggled up to Tamaki. That's what I get for going from one fic to another))**

"What's wrong?" Hikaru asked, a bit tired and groggy.

"I'm so sorry I got upset with you," Kaoru replied, sobs still escaping through his teeth. "I'm so sorry!"

Hikaru laughed and kissed Kaoru on the forhead, down to his nose, and finally on his lips.

"Don't be silly, I love you."

"I hate church," Kaoru scowled. "It's dumb."

Hikaru laughed and nodded his head in agreement and pulled Kaoru by his waist so the two forms in the bed would be closer together. Sure, it was Monday, but Hikaru and Kaoru didn't want to get up.

"It's time for school," Kaoru whispered.

Hikaru nodded and sighed. He snuggled close to his brother's body again and smiled as he gave Kaoru a quick peck on the lips. Kaoru blushed and tried to speak, but he couldn't. Hikaru rubbed his hand up and down Kaoru's bare arm. Yes, the two hadn't gotten dressed after their bath, they just dried off and climbed into the bed. They didn't care that they might get in trouble with their mom and dad. Mom and dad didn't have to find out, and the twins weren't planning on letting them.

Leaving Kaoru's bare body and letting both of them sit cold and alone, even for a split second seemed like a sin, even more of a sin than the two together, but Hikaru finally decided enough was enough and he got up and began dressing himself. After he'd gotten done, he noticed that Kaoru hadn't gotten up, so he grabbed Kaoru and got him dressed. His hands had lingered on Kaoru's waist before going to grab Kaoru's shirt.

"I hate school."

"Me too, I hate anything that doesn't have to do with us, don't you?"

"Yup."

The two smiled and started to head off to school, hand in hand.

**

* * *

**_**After School: Host Club**_

"Hey, what happened to you last night, Kaoru?" Haruhi asked, worried about the little red head that she was now going out with. Kaoru blushed and held Hikaru's hand tighter and walked a bit closer to him.

"I felt bad for not apologizing to Hikaru for trying to kill him," Kaoru explained, holding Hikaru in one hand, and the stuffed animal in the other. The teachers tried to take it away from him all day long but he cried and sobbed everytime they did. Unfortunately, the sewing club recognized it and gave Hikaru a bit of grief about it, but Hikaru explained that he got into a huge fight with Kaoru, and he decided he needed to say sorry for once, because Kaoru wasn't going to. "So, I ran home because... well... I can't sleep well without Hikaru... and..."

Hot lips touched Kaoru's cold neck, for he was sick again, and this time, Hikaru knew it.

"Ah, ahhh, Hikaru, stop it," Kaoru snapped. "That's not fair, I was talking."

"That's not fair, you were talking, and I love your voice," Hikaru purred, making Kaoru blush.

"Knock it off."

Haruhi blinked and shook her head and walked over to the two and complained, "Hikaru, you shouldn't act like that when we're going out."

"About that-" Kaoru started.

"-it's no longer," Hikaru finished as he pulled his little brother's waist up against his.

"W-what do you mean?" Haruhi asked, amazed at what she was hearing.

"Kaoru's breaking up-"

"-I just don't feel it anymore."

Hikaru kissed Kaoru on the neck again, making him blush and he gasped out, "I guess... he has something to do with it."

Tamaki laughed and he looked at Haruhi and he started going all over her again, like he used to before Kaoru went out with her.

"Glad something's back to normal," Kyoya laughed.

**

* * *

**

**Lex's POV**

Kao-kun broke up with Haru, but I don't think that really matters anymore. I've noticed her looking at that blonde idiot, Tamaki-kun a lot more lately. She denies liking him, but I think she secretly does like him.

Only, now the twins are back to sinning, and the sinning is most definetly going to get worse now, I can only imagine what those idiots are going to do.

**Guess twins can't be blessed.**


	42. Accident

**The Thirtieth Day**_** Tuesday**_

Something was bugging Hikaru, and he couldn't figure it out.

Kaoru wasn't there after club, and he didn't say where he was going. Hikaru sat all alone in his bedroom, just staring at the ceiling, and wondering where his life was going to. Surely, his love with his brother was not allowed, and his parents already were upsetted over this. Then again, they just weren't allowed to do it in the house, so they could do it anywhere else. All their life they got looked at weird, why should it be any different now?

For some reason though, Hikaru felt particularly lonely this afternoon, and he was rather upset with Kaoru for another reason. However, he didn't know what it was that he was upset at Kaoru over, and his stomach hurt from the odd sensation of being mad at his twin.

"I'm home!" A voice chimed as the bed sunk down at the greeting of a new body.

"Damn straight you are," Hikaru hissed.

Kaoru felt unsure of what was going on. He thought his brother would be happy, and gleeful to see his little twin. His stomach churned and that cursed thought bled through his mind again, through his barrier of happiness as it weakened once again. _What if he's not the one?_

Just the thought of his brother gone make Kaoru weak. A life without Hikaru wasn't a life at all, but an eternal hell. Kaoru knew this quite well and he didn't want his brother to leave him, nor did he want to leave his brother again. Still unsure and feeling sick, Kaoru's hand reached out to pull himself close to that body, but his body recoiled at the rememberance of where he was going to be the rest of the night. So he spit it out, "I'm going with a friend to the movies tonight."

"Freaky Neko, right?" Hikaru spat, still annoyed.

The frown finally cut through Kaoru's defenses and was displayed on his face, while the tears were still tugging, arguing with the concience of Kaoru. Finally, he swallowed what he was sure was regret and replied, "Why do you sound so jealous?"

"You stare at him a lot, and then you run off without telling me?" Hikaru hissed angrily.

"I did tell you! You were too... busy with Haruhi!" Kaoru argued.

"Was not, you liar."

Kaoru choked and he muttered, "Idiotic bastard."

He dashed out of the room and the longer Hikaru lay there, the more that thought sank into him. _What if Kaoru dies tonight? The last thing I said to him was that he was a liar, and he called me a bastard. I know he doesn't really think that, but he'd feel horrible if he died knowing he never said that he loved me. Maybe I should call him, you know, just to say that I love him and whatnot, then he can get back to that damn movie that I couldn't go to._

Hikaru reached for his phone, but the longer he thought, the more furious he became, and he finally decided he wasn't going to call Kaoru. He was too upset for that.

**

* * *

**

_**With Kaoru: Movie Theater**_

You could call it a date; you could call it a friendly trip, or you could call it an annoyance, all of them would work.

The younger boy sat with the third year, watching yet another horror movie, Kaoru's easiness slowly creeping out of him and into the theater and it seemed that the boy next to him just ate it up. More uneasiness and fear crept into the boy, and his stomach churned even harder, and Kaoru was wondering if his idiotic stomach muscles needed to do this to him, when he was on a type of date. He couldn't keep his mind off of his elder brother. The boy leaned forward, the hands clutching his stomach as the eyes stared blearily at the screen upon the wall with the horrible monsters screaming and tearing flesh. Kaoru was used to stuff like this, it was the type of things dreams were created from, only, most of the time it was either him who was the monster or someone else was the monster. It didn't matter.

"Scared?" That soft voice finally cut through the barrier.

The amber eyes darted to him, trying to speak something baffling, so they couldn't be read. Luckily, Nekozawa couldn't read his eyes anyway, so it didn't matter that much that Kaoru was trying to hide his uncertainty, his fear, his longing, his stomach-ache from too much stress. Still, the amber and cat-like eyes dug into his irises, and he found himself looking away to take a breather. What was going on here?

"Yeah," Kaoru replied. "Or sick."

Nekozawa nodded and he stood up slightly and pulled Kaoru out of the theater and into the bathroom and shoved him into a stall. Kaoru stood, baffled as he stood in the stall and turned around to look puzzlingly at Nekozawa.

"Ume-kun, what was that about?" Kaoru asked, nervously.

"You said you were sick, didn't you?" Nekozawa asked.

Kaoru blushed and muttered, "Well, yes, but I... I don't think I mean throw up sick. I think I mean... love sick."

The dark gothic boy nodded and suddenly shoved himself into the stall and he shut and locked the door before he climbed a bit on to the toilet, ducking enough so he couldn't be seen over the top. The youngest twin was about to ask what he was doing when he heard footsteps, and he thought it'd be odd to hear two boys talking in the same stall in hushed voices. He kept his mouth shut, but his eyes glaring at the older man.

"Damn, I am so tired," A voice groaned. "Movies are irritating, aren't they?"

"Then why did you come?" Another scowled.

"My girlfriend wanted me to."

"Girls are a handful. What do you say about her?"

Something must have been shared between the men.

"Why not?" One laughed. Probably the first one, who said he was here with his girlfriend. "I don't see why we can't."

Then his cell rang.

"Shit!" Kaoru cussed as his phone began ringing in his pocket, the sound most likely loud enough for the creepy men to hear. "No no no! Hikaru! You idiot! Why the hell did he call right now?"

"Rats?" The voices came as the door swung open to reveal Kaoru trying to silence his phone and Nekozawa seeming like he wanted to dissapear into the shadows. "Just like I thought, I thought I smelt some eavesdropping rats. It wouldn't have been so bad had you two finished up and left, but now you heard what we were talking about, and we can't let the police hear about it. So guess what? You kids are lucky! You get to come with us."

Kaoru tried to swallow the lump in his throat, the regret? Tears started to fall down his face and he did the only thing he could think of.

"Hikaru..." Kaoru whined. "I want my Hikaru."

It was something new. Danger without the other. Sure enough, Kaoru had gotten into bad situations before, but Hikaru was never far away, he was always there to comfort the younger twin. Surely, Hikaru would cry for Kaoru in the same situation. Or maybe he wouldn't. Kaoru thought that perhaps, Hikaru saw him as inferior, and that he was infact his protector, and it could never be vice versa. All in all, it depressed Kaoru all the same, and soon enough, Kaoru found himself hopeless and in the goth's arms in a strange car, stuffed in the back. It was a big truck, like a shipping truck, and they were probably shipping, so Kaoru had to cuddle close to Nekozawa. His brother couldn't be contacted, for his cellphone had been taken away from him by the big guys up in the front. There was a girl up with them too. Of course, the two in the back already knew what was going to happen to her.

"I want my Hikaru," Kaoru whispered as he snuggled closer to Nekozawa, looking for more warmth as there was a lack in this truck, and Kaoru was sick, so he felt an extra lack. "I want Hikaru."

"It's alright Kaoru, Bereznoff will keep us safe," Nekozawa whispered into Kaoru's hair and wrapped his arm around him. "I know that doesn't mean much to you Host Club kids, but I just thought I'd let you know that they'll take care of us. After all, Bereznoff likes you, a lot."

Kaoru blushed and placed his hands onto Nekozawa's arm that wrapped around him. A blanket of peace spread over Kaoru and he began to feel himself drift off as he was so close to this man in dark robes. Something dashed at Kaoru's mind and nagged, poked, stabbed. His stomach-ache came back, and for some odd reason, he longed to hear the older boy's voice again. So deep, his face muscles so strong, his arms so strong as well. He was so developed, and yes, within a short amount of time, he would be labeled an adult. Kaoru still had over two years until he could call himself an adult.

"It means a lot to me," Kaoru whispered, trying to tease the man into speaking again. "I'm not like the others."

"I know that," Nekozawa whispered.

The voice tingled Kaoru's mind and his spine shocked and he blushed a little deeper, letting his body fall backwards so he looked up at the voice and he discovered that Nekozawa was staring at him as well. The blush deepend and Kaoru's facial features twisted as he tried to explain why he was looking at him and blushing, but Kaoru couldn't speak. For so long, he'd teased him, Hikaru and Kaoru had teased Nekozawa on various amounts, and Kaoru was beginning to find himself some respect in those eyes. They weren't dark and alien like usual, they were kind, worried, and caring. A shot ran up Kaoru's nerves in his whole body, and he began wondering what that was. He had felt that somewhere before, when Hikaru reached past him to turn the water on in the shower once, the body so close, the skin rubbing across his. There wasn't any contact right now.

"Sorry," Kaoru apologized as he tried to shoot forward, but the hands of Nekozawa stayed strong, and the eyes dug into Kaoru's this time, this man wasn't going to let Kaoru avoid him so easily, if there was something to say... it had to be said. Or it had to be communicated in hard staring. Another bolt ran through Kaoru and he struggled.

"There's not enough room, we'll wind up in an even worse position," Nekozawa responded. "I'm trying to make this as easy as possible on both of us, okay Kao-chan?"

Another blush attacked Kaoru's face and he held his breath as the truck hit a bump and the two sprawled out on the floor, and Kaoru couldn't breath at the position. Kaoru struggled and turned himself around, so he stared down at Nekozawa's face, instead of laying ontop of him.

"Sorry," Kaoru apologized again.

"It's okay," Nekozawa whispered. "Can we sit up again? I don't want to hit another bump with my head on this ground."

So Kaoru moved back a bit and Nekozawa sat upright, the two facing eachother, in close quarters, and the goth was right, there wasn't enough room for them to switch positions and as they hit another bump, Kaoru was thrusted into the cat-lovers arms. Kaoru raised his head and was about to apologize again, his face in a fluster, when the puppet covered his mouth and Nekozawa whispered in a melodic voice, "Shhh. They'll hear you."

It was true, the truck had stopped.

"Come on darling," A voice cooed and Kaoru imagined the man taking the beautiful lady out, looking like a gentleman. He was in the Host Club for God's sake, he knew a gentleman, and he wasn't one, no matter how hard he might try. The two waited for about ten minutes until they decided that the men had taken her inside.

Kaoru slammed his fist against the door.

"We have to get out of here! I can't let them kill a woman when I'm this close, I'm a host for Christ's sake!" Kaoru snarled as he tried to open it.

Nekozawa sighed and walked up and bent down and pulled the door open with ease. Kaoru blinked and blushed and he complained that it was heavy, and that Nekozawa made it look so easy. Kaoru also noted that he didn't seem like the kind of guy with muscle, but Nekozawa shrugged and started walking towards the house. Kaoru cussed and ran up to the house, past Nekozawa and he stared through the window at the girl as she laughed with the men. The window was opened a crack.

"You guys are so silly, why did you run off during the movie?" She giggled. It was a shame.

Was she... a highschooler? Yes! Kaoru knew her!

She crushed on Hikaru in middle school, but they had shooed her off harshly as well. Kaoru began to regret his past and he longed to open the window. This girl, an A class, was dating an adult? That's... that's pedophile!

"There was... some kids messing around in the restroom when we went to the bathroom, so we had to take care of them," Another carefully chose his words. The girl blinked and asked nervously what they meant by "take care of", and she didn't like the answer. "Don't worry, we'll take care of them soon enough, but first comes you."

"What?" She stuttered.

Kaoru's muscles flexed and he acted again without thinking. He crashed through the window and sat in the room, some blood going down his face from glass pieces cutting into him, but he didn't mind. He already through this on another "date" at a movie theater. Yes, movies always seemed to get Kaoru into trouble.

"RUN!" Kaoru shouted as he lunged onto a man that was holding a knife. The knife hand struggled wildly and almost stabbed Kaoru, but Kaoru didn't care. "Did you hear me? I said RUN!"

The girl blinked and gasped, "Kaoru-kun?"

"Run," Nekozawa confirmed as he walked through the window frame and grasped the knife from the man as it almost dug into Kaoru's throat.

Nekozawa and Kaoru struggled with trying to keep the other okay, and as far from harm as POSSIBLE, since Kaoru was already torn to bits from the window. After coming to her senses, the girl tried to help the two, besides the fact that she didn't know what she was doing, and girls never usually fought, especially in the A classes.

Sirens caught Kaoru's ears.

Soon enough, the police came in and took the men away to jail after someone reported two boys being shoved into a big truck and explaining it and where it started going. After a while the police found the trail and got there, right in time. The moment Kaoru was identified, they called his mother.

"My baby? That happened to my baby? Where is he?" She cried. "Where's my little Kaoru?"

He refused to talk on the phone.

Kaoru had gotten into a car with Nekozawa, after he'd offered to take Kaoru home. Kaoru sighed and laid his head on Nekozawa's shoulder and started to doze off, as it was well past 1 A.M. by now. After a while, Nekozawa wrapped his arm around Kaoru and smiled as he stared at his puppet, and then at Kaoru's face.

"Yes, Bereznoff likes you."

* * *

**Kyoya's POV**

Did I hear this right? Kaoru got into an "accident"? I don't believe that one bit. At school, I'm going to bug Kaoru for information, but of course, from what I heard, Hikaru will probably be all over his brother and they won't come. I heard Nekozawa was with Kaoru though, so I could ask him what became of it. Kaoru doesn't get into accidents, unless you count the window incident with Haruhi as an "accident", I rather count that as stupidity and liking. I mean, it's not an accident if you lunge yourself into something to save someone. The person who was being saved had the accident, not the saver.

Still, I can't believe this happened, and Tamaki is going to call me early, I know it. I still need to get to bed, I was sorting things, trying to discover the best way to make money when something had come on the news. I turned on the sound and heard the story the police were giving.

**An accident? Who the hell believes that?**


	43. Insanity

**Note: Sorry my grammar sucks**

**The Thirty-First Day**_** Wednesday**_

Kaoru had come home with Nekozawa the other day, Nekozawa apologized for all the trouble he caused and everything, and Hikaru forgave him, just so long as he could wrap his arms around Kaoru again.

"Mmm, Hikaru?" Kaoru asked as he opened his eyes. It was way past school starting time. "What's going on?"

Hikaru's hand was on Kaoru's cheek, and Hikaru was trying to smile, but a tear escaped.

"You're awake," Hikaru chuckled. "Thank God."

The elder layed down next to the younger and pulled his arms around him and buried his face.

"Oh, God..." Hikaru whispered. "I was up all night, waiting for you. Then you come home... like... like this."

"This?"

It all came back. The house, the truck. The fear. That gothic man.

A blush crept onto Kaoru's face.

"H... Hikaru?" Kaoru whispered. "I don't think... I..."

"What?" Hikaru whispered.

Tears longed to burst from Kaoru and he tried to move to his brother's aid, but a shocking pain crept up his spine and shook his mind. He couldn't think. Numbness controlled him for a whole minute, he couldn't do anything. The scratches and deep cuts were all over him, and he had a bunch on his head and his legs were cut up from jumping over the large shards of glass recklessly. It was surprising he wasn't in the hospital. Of course, Hikaru clung to him, and no one could get Kaoru away for treatment. No, Kaoru wasn't supposed to get hurt. Not without Hikaru there for him.

"I think I like Nekozawa," Kaoru admitted.

"No..." Hikaru sobbed and he pulled his brother close to him, pain shooting through Kaoru from the sudden movement. More pain was in his head.

Sometimes, Kaoru wished it was gone. All of it. Love, pain, hatred.

"You can't leave me," Hikaru hissed, squeezing Kaoru's body against his. Kaoru wrapped his frail arms around his brother and he began to sob, his louder to veil his brother's deep sobs. "You can't leave me. We're twins, we're brothers. You can never leave me, promise me that."

"I can't," Kaoru sobbed. "Promise me I'm not going to hell."

That came back so suddenly, that little girl. The first day she was there, the third day. Kaoru was going to hell.

It seemed to matter now.

"Hell?" Hikaru whispered. "Hell would be a blessing."

A veil of something clutched Kaoru and he sobbed and shook and pulled his brother closer to him as those sobs came back, he didn't want to go to hell, not without Hikaru. His elder couldn't promise him anything, he wouldn't say he was coming with Kaoru, and every unanswered promise made the veil get stronger and dig deeper into his mind.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru cried. "You can't leave me! I won't leave you if you can't leave me! Please Hikaru, don't let them get me... don't let them get me..."

Suddenly, Kaoru turned into a mumbling maniac, a psycho. Hikaru pulled away and lounged there, staring at his brother as he mumbled over and over again. Seriously though, no one was out to get him. Why did he act like it? Did Kaoru really believe in that heaven and hell crap? Something was wrong with him, and Hikaru felt that this wasn't his brother anymore, and it scared him, to see Kaoru tremble, to see him cry, to see him whine. Kaoru was usually the stronger one with an always cool composure.

"It's okay, Kaoru," Hikaru tried to comfort.

"It's not!" Kaoru shouted and whined. "It's not okay! They're going to get me and you don't care! You don't!"

"Ka-"

"You're a liar!"

The younger had curled up in a ball, on his side, mumbling and crying and whining. It hurt Hikaru to hear it, to see it. Even though they'd admitted how they felt, for some reason, they couldn't come to say it again. Weak willed you could call it.

"You said you loved me, you said you'd always be there," Kaoru whispered. "But you're not, you won't, you can't. You don't care, you won't be there, you wouldn't follow, you're crazy. I'm crazy. I'm going to hell and you're not. You're good. I'm bad. There's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me."

"It must've been last night," Hikaru tried to shrug it off.

No, Kaoru'd been like this for awhile. That's what started the fight.

_"He's crazy."_

That's what started the whole trying to kill eachother fight. They were constantly at war with eachother, sometimes a love war, struggling for dominance, and other times a war for the littlest things. Were they little to Kaoru?

"You're crazy," Hikaru whispered.

"There's something wrong..." Kaoru cried. "I'm insane, I'm crazy! You're crazy, you're a liar, you're a cheater. You should be going to hell, not me. Not me. Not me. They can't get me. They can't. I have... I have you, you'll protect me. But that's a lie too. You hate me. Everyone hates me. I hate me. What's wrong with me? Hikaru! There's something wrong with me! Honestly, there's something wrong, something's wrong."

Watching his brother reduce to crying and whining and whimpering cut a nerve and he quickly lurched for his cellphone.

"Hello?" His mother's voice answered.

"Ma! Kaoru's crazy!" Hikaru quickly gasped. "He's insane! He needs help!"

"Where's the proof?" She asked, sceptically.

Hikaru took his phone and put it infront of Kaoru, praying that she could hear his whines and complaints.

"See?"

"What's wrong with him?" She asked, worried. "Stop joking around, Hikaru. This isn't funny."

"It's not a joke."

Their mom decided she was going to come home from her fashion tour and get Kaoru to the hospital, or somewhere. She agreed, there was something wrong with Kaoru, and she wanted him better. Kaoru couldn't go crazy, there was something else wrong with him, and she wanted to get it fixed. Everything could be fixed after all.

"Kaoru..." Hikaru cooed as he placed his hand on Kaoru's, but Kaoru swatted it away.

"Don't touch me!" Kaoru whimpered. "Leave me alone..."

Hikaru got up, off of the bed, for he knew he had to wait downstairs for his mom to get home. He couldn't leave that room, nothing could get him out, those whines and cries stuck him there. How much longer was he just going to ignore this? He'd been ignoring it for months, for weeks.

"Kaoru! Stop!" Hikaru snapped.

"Leave me alone!" Kaoru sobbed. "Go away..."

Kaoru's hands went to his ears and he sat up, rocking back and forth.

"Just... leave me alone and go away..."

Rage overtook the other brother and he tackled his younger. Rage of his ignorance, rage of what his brother had done and then he just pushed him away. He wouldn't ignore this anymore, he couldn't. It hurt too much, it made him want to cry along with him, and Hikaru was tired of it. He wanted Kaoru to know he was there, he wasn't going to leave him. No, Hikaru was never going to leave Kaoru. Kaoru was his and his alone, Nekozawa couldn't get him, Kaoru couldn't like him.

"SHUT UP!" Hikaru shouted. "STOP! You're mine! No one elses! Don't tell me to go away, don't tell me to leave you alone! I won't! I can't!"

"You've done it before," Kaoru sobbed as Hikaru held his wrists above them on their pillows.

Hikaru brought their lips together and Kaoru calmed.

"I'm sorry," Hikaru whispered. "I'm sorry Kaoru, I love you."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

"Not that. That other thing."

"I'm sorry?"

"No, that other thing you said earlier," Kaoru whimpered.

"You're mine?"

"Yes..."

Hikaru smiled. "You're mine. Only mine. I'm yours, and only yours. No one else can have me, no one else can have you."

Kaoru smiled and his body relaxed and his eyes closed.

"Okay..." Kaoru cooed. "Alright."

"If you're going to hell I'm going with, because we go everywhere together, we're twins, we're brothers, and even better, we're lovers," Hikaru continued as one of his hands left Kaoru's wrists and went to his cellphone. "Make sure you always know that."

"Hikaru?" Came his mother's frantic voice.

"It's okay, I got it under control," Hikaru confirmed. "It's alright, you can stay."

"Oh, I was so worried because I was going so slow! I'm still putting my stuff away!"

"Put them back. It's okay now."

"...Okay, Hikaru."

The elder hung up and layed next to his little brother and smiled. No more screaming, no more crying, no more whining, and Kaoru was still awake, gazing into his eyes with his own. The younger boy seemed to be at peace, and it made the older boy so happy. Hikaru couldn't take his arms off of Kaoru and they layed in the bed together, and Hikaru wasn't sure if he ever wanted it to change, not even for that girl with the big eyes and the male uniform on her flat chested body.

"Kaoru..." Hikaru whispered. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Hikaru."

Hikaru took a risk and he brought their bodies together and they melted at the other's touch and their foreheads were together, and Hikaru wrapped his legs around Kaoru to mimick his arms.

"Is this real?" Kaoru sobbed. "Tell me it is. Don't make it a dream. If it is, don't wake me up."

It was odd to Hikaru, that Kaoru talked about him in his sleep. Kaoru would whisper his name over and over again, "Hikaru... Hikaru..." The siren's song to Hikaru. He just wanted to make Kaoru say it again, his name, his name gracing those angelic lips, he only wanted to know what happened in those dreams.

He wanted to, but he didn't want to. Kaoru didn't dream.

Kaoru had nightmares.

"What do you dream about?" Hikaru finally asked.

"Scary stuff."

"You say my name," Hikaru added. "Is that so scary?"

"Very scary. You try to... try to..." Kaoru's throat felt dry and he couldn't continue.

"What? I try to what?"

Kaoru couldn't speak. He couldn't tell his lover that in his dreams, Hikaru was his tormentor in everything he did. The touch, the kisses, the strangling, no matter what happened, it hurt. It was an intoxicating hurt, a hurt you wanted more of, a masochistic pain. Sometimes Hikaru was trying to kill him, and other times they were doing... perverted things, but no matter what happened, it always hurt, and Kaoru couldn't bring himself against the one he adored.

"Nevermind."

* * *

**Kaoru's POV**

It scares me sometimes, how if any of my dreams came real, I wouldn't be able to do anything about it. Like that one dream I had the other week, where Hikaru was trying to strangle me in the tub again, I can't bring myself to do that to him, to let him die there. I would rather die than have him kill himself. It always happens now. In my dreams? I don't resist, he can do anything to me. As long as I don't see pain on that face, tears in those eyes, hatred on his lips. I never want to see that again, I never want to hear that again. It's making me go insane. I love him so much, it just makes me wonder if he actually loves me the same amount back.

I hope Hikaru loves me that much, he said he did. He said he loved me. Still, every touch, every kiss, every lick, it all hurts.

When we're together and his hand trails up and down my chest, it makes me want to cry. It hurts so much, to know I have to share that with the rest of the rest of the world. I don't want to share _that! That _is mine. Hikaru is mine, and I won't ever let anyone ever touch me. When I was with Nekozawa and I was so scared, I wanted Hikaru, I longed for him. Still, Nekozawa was there, not Hikaru. For the first time in my life, someone else was comforting me, and it felt so good. I lost sight of Hikaru, and it hurts so much.

I'm unfaithful, I'm a bad person. I'm going to hell... I... I'm, I'm a horrible person!

It doesn't matter though, he's coming with me. He promised...

**He promised...**


	44. Gleaming

The Thirty-Second Day

Kaoru's always by Hikaru's side.

Haruhi's watching them a lot more, and Kaoru doesn't talk anymore.

"Kaoru, are you okay?" A girl finally asked, when Kaoru wasn't with Hikaru.

The boy opened his mouth, but no words came out. After staring at the girl for awhile, and realizing that Hikaru wasn't going to be out of the bathroom anytime soon, Kaoru finally sighed and replied, "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little worried is all."

"Oh, thank goodness you're okay! Everyone's been worried sick about you since that one night!"

With a small smile, Kaoru turned and left, not wanting to deal with the sympathy he knew the women would surely give him.

* * *

**_With Hikaru...?_**

Hikaru moaned and walked out of the bathroom.

"I think I'd better go to the nurse..." Hikaru started, but noticed that Kaoru wasn't there anymore. "Kaoru?"

"Oh, Hikaru-kun!" The girl who'd talked to Kaoru earlier, squealed. "What're you doing?"

"Wasn't Kaoru out here?"

"Oh yeah, but he left a little while ago."

The older brother frowned.

"If you see him, tell him I went home sick."

She nodded and skipped off. Hikaru rubbed his head. It wasn't like Kaoru to walk off without Hikaru by his side. Something there must've really bugged him. None-the-less, Hikaru continued on to the nurse's office.

* * *

**_After School_**

Kaoru was hunched over infront of a table at the Host Club. He still couldn't believe that he didn't get to go home with his brother all because of the fact that he didn't want to deal with a stupid girl. Now he had to sit with Lex and try to make conversation with her until one of his customers finally spoke. It was starting to bore Kaoru, being a host and all. All Kaoru wanted was to spend some time with Hikaru, but he wasn't getting that much anymore. More work to do, more homework, and all of it led to less quality time.

"So... you okay?" Lex finally spoke.

"Hmm? Yeah," Kaoru murmured, breaking out of his daze.

Lex twiddled her fingers. Her eyes wandered to Kaoru's face and she smiled.

"I've decided that I'm going to help you, so you won't go to hell," She replied.

Kaoru rolled his eyes. He had enough of thinking about heaven and hell, and he just wanted to get it all over with.

"And you can still sin," She whispered.

The boy raised his eyebrow.

"Tell me what you have in mind," Kaoru requested, completely forgetting about his customers.

One girl blushed.

"Umm, Kaoru-kun. I don't think you're going to hell," She spoke up.

"Oh, let's not talk about Hell and nasty things like that right now," Kaoru cooed as he turned to face the ladies, his smile starting to come back. "Hell isn't something that you fine ladies should talk about. How about we talk about the kind of things you girls are going to do once you get into heaven."

"Oh, but heaven's against my religion," A blondey blushed. "But, if you're going to be there, then I guess I can go."

As Kyoya walked over to tell Kaoru the shift for these girls was over, Kaoru added something slyly, "Let's all meet up when we go to heaven, and Hikaru and I could give you girls a little kiss."

The girls blushed and squealed, and before they could say anymore, Kyoya switched the girls.

Feeling triumphant, Kaoru became more lively, and began making the girls swoon over him, quite pleased at himself. Lex noticed his smug expressions, and how smooth and quickly he moved as he talked to the ladies, but she didn't want to say anything about it. To Lex, it almost seemed as though Kaoru... rather _enjoyed _flirting with the ladies. Instead of his usual shy self, Kaoru had the youthful moves of Hikaru.

"Mm, this tea is good," A thin brunette chimed as she sipped on her tea.

A grin spread across Kaoru's face and he leaned into her, wrapping his arm around her.

"Can I have a sip?" Kaoru whined. "Even though I know what that tea tastes like, I know that your lips will add a special flavor."

"Ohh... Kaoru-kun," She blushed. "Won't Hikaru-kun be jealous?"

"Don't worry about him," He cooed. "What happens in the Music Room stays in the Music Room."

"Eeehh!" Kaoru's customers squealed and they all tried to get as close to Kaoru as possible. "Kaoru-kun's so cool!"

Seeing all this, Lex smiled and hopped off the couch and trotted over to Haruhi, and complained that it was her nappy time. Haruhi frowned, but decided that the little girl was right, and that the Music Room wasn't a good place for a little girl to be napping.

"Let's go," Haruhi declared to the little girl. "It's Lex-chan's nap time, Kyoya-senpai, I hope you understand?"

The Demon Lord, being a buisiness man himself, knew that interferring with Haruhi's work would be quite bad and he did feel a little sympathy for the girl, so he let her go. Haruhi and Lex trotted out of the room, although, Haruhi was only doing it to make Lex feel good about herself. Haruhi found it hard to imagine, that Lex could be so giddy when her mom was in a hospital and she was surrounded by people over ten years older than her.

"Why are you so happy?" Haruhi asked as they sat down to eat together. Ranka had to work late again that night. Who knew you'd need to be so dedicated to work at a Tranny bar?

"I'm gonna teach Kao-chan how to not be a sinner," Lex announced and began eating her food. "Mm, Haru-chan, how are you such a good cook?"

"Oh, well you know that my mom gave me recipes when she was in the hospital, and I love hearing my dad compliment my food," Haruhi explained, a light blush on her face. "Do you really think it's good?"

Lex grinned. "Why don't you ask Tama-chan?"

"Oh, Tamaki-senpai," Haruhi huffed. "He didn't go all loco over me today for once."

"Ahh, he's a good guy."

Haruhi swallowed her mouthful of food.

"I know that, but he's just all over me all the time, calling me his daughter. Doesn't it ever get old to him? I mean, I already have a father. Both of my fathers are a little nuts, I guess. However, I do feel kind of bad for Senpai, but he's always so happy..."

Lex cocked her head and whimpered, "Is something wrong, Haru-chan?"

The older girl picked at her food and replied, "I wonder if Tamaki-senpai is hurting inside."

"Maybe, but he's just lucky he has friends as good as you guys."

"Yeah, I guess that's how he can smile everyday..." Haruhi murmured. "But I can't help but feel sorry for him, Lex-chan."

"I feel sorry for him too," Lex replied as she got up and walked to the bathroom. The girl closed the door and sighed. "I'm just a little girl and even I can see that Tama-chan likes Haru-chan. I feel sorry for the guy. Haru-chan has no idea he even likes her, and he has no idea himself."

Note: OMG!!! What is this? No POV for the end of the chapter? Well, I'm not doing it because I dun wanna, and I wanted to write this because I feel bad. I have a bit of a writers block, and I wanted to finish this. I don't really remember the story much so I'll have to re-read it all... all 43 chapters... eek.


End file.
